All the time these proceedings were taking place, she was aware of Lord Melbourne’s eyes on her, kind, at first apprehensive but gradually becoming reassured, and finally proud.
She glowed with pleasure. It was of the utmost importance to her that she did not disappoint Lord Melbourne.
She knew that those lords who had assembled in the red salon were astonished by her demeanour. They had waited in trepidation for a young girl and had found a queen. She was conscious of a power she had not thought possible. Could she have behaved with the same poise if she had not been primed by Lord Melbourne? Dear kind man! Already she owed him a great deal. How lucky that she had him for her Prime Minister. She would tell him so when she next saw him.
She left the red salon, her uncles and Lord Melbourne following her, and there in the ante-room was her mother, her face flushed, her eyes brilliant, her jewels glittering and feathers shaking. The warm glow, which thinking of Lord Melbourne had engendered, faded. Victoria felt cool and aloof, but the Duchess was too excited to notice her daughter’s manner.
‘My love!’ she cried, seeking to embrace Victoria, ‘I am so proud of you.’
Victoria dutifully allowed herself to be crushed against that superb bosom for a few seconds but she was thinking: Mamma will have to remember that I am the Queen.
The Duchess was quivering with questions and advice. She wanted to carry off her daughter, advise her, warn her, in general lay before her the plans which she and Sir John had devised for the future. Victoria’s attitude of the past months might have prepared her for the difficulties she was facing, but the Duchess refused to accept this. Victoria was her child and she would always be so.
‘Thank you, Mamma,’ said Victoria coolly.
‘My darling, there is so much to talk about.’ The Duchess shot a glance at the Uncles and Lord Melbourne. Sir John had said: ‘Victoria must be warned against Melbourne. He is not on our side.’
And there he was, thought the Duchess, taking charge, having paid two calls on Victoria already this morning although she had not been Queen more than half a day. Oh yes, Victoria must certainly be warned against Lord Melbourne.
‘Mamma,’ said Victoria, ‘am I really and truly Queen?’
‘But, my love, you have seen that you are.’
‘Then, Mamma, I hope you will grant the first request I make to you as Queen.’
The Duchess’s smile was indulgent. A request? Some honour she was going to bestow on her dear Mamma in appreciation of all that had been done for her? ‘Dearest Mamma, I beg of you to accept …’ Now what would she be most likely to offer?
‘My love, I shall of course be delighted and now I suppose I should say honoured, for you are our little Queen, are you not? I shall be delighted to grant any request.’
‘Then, Mamma, let me be by myself for an hour.’
The Queen passed on, leaving an astonished Duchess staring after her. Lord Melbourne was bowing to her with a slightly ironic smile on his handsome face.
The Duchess was accustomed to scenes, having been responsible for many, but even she knew that this was not the moment to make one. The ingratitude! she was thinking. How could she … a daughter of mine!
But Victoria was the Queen now and capable of anything.
In Victoria’s room Lehzen was waiting for her.
‘I was a success, Lehzen,’ she cried. ‘All those men were expecting me to blush and stammer and show my fear of this great responsibility, but I did no such thing. I showed them quite clearly that having for so long been accustomed to the idea of being Queen, I know exactly how to act.’
‘As I always said you would.’
‘And I have just spoken to Mamma.’
Lehzen was alert. It would never do for the Duchess to gain ascendancy over Victoria for that would mean that Lehzen was relegated to the background.
‘Do you realise, Lehzen, that all my life I have never been in a room alone?’
‘It was the Duchess’s orders that you should not be.’
‘I know, and we had to accept it. Now, Lehzen, I do not have to accept anything. I might decide to, if Lord Melbourne desired it, but that is a very different matter. So I told Mamma that I had a request to make which was that I be allowed to be alone for an hour.’
‘And the Duchess agreed—?’
‘My dear Lehzen, how could she do otherwise? I am the Queen.’
Lehzen could take a hint. It would never do for her to become a nuisance.
‘I understand your feelings,’ she said. ‘It is so natural that you should wish to be alone. You will have so much to think about. So I will leave you to yourself.’
If she were hoping for a protest she did not get it. This was indeed the Queen.
Lehzen shut the door quietly and Victoria looked blissfully about the room.
‘Alone!’ she said aloud. ‘For the first time in my life.’
It would not be for long, she knew, as her Ministers would soon begin to arrive and she must give them audience; but from now on if she ever wished for an hour’s solitude it could be hers.
I never knew what a prisoner I was until now that I am free, she told herself. Free, that is, as ever a monarch can be.
She would never be free to consider her own wishes if these conflicted with the needs of the State. There would be no question of that ever, and she would tell Lord Melbourne so at their very next meeting, which would be later this day of course. How fortunate to come to the throne to find such a good, kind, amusing, witty, handsome man waiting to advise. Indeed, one ran out of adjectives when describing Lord Melbourne. She had no qualms, no fears when she considered that he was there beside her, to guide her and keep her informed on all matters of state.
And now during this brief respite – this hour of being alone – she must consider her new position and always remember that she was the Queen. Everyone must realise this – and by everyone she meant Mamma, for Mamma was the only member of the household who would question her right to command. It was unfortunate because it was one’s duty to love one’s parents and Victoria wanted always to do her duty, so she must remind herself of her mother’s behaviour during the last years when she had deliberately kept Victoria from Court and had prevented her learning so much which would have been useful to her; and it was not as Mamma implied, that she did not wish her to meet the illegitimate FitzClarences but because she feared that her Uncle William and her Aunt Adelaide might have had too much influence over her. And so Victoria had come to the throne knowing little of Court life and had it not been for the presence of dear, good, kind Lord Melbourne, she would have been lost indeed. Nor was this the only grievance against her mother. She hated to think of what the Duchess’s relationship was with Sir John Conroy, for that man was allowed a familiarity which suggested that he could scarcely be merely her Comptroller of the Household. Lehzen became very significantly silent when the matter was referred to and she must not forget that her mother – she was sure on the advice of That Man – had tried to banish Lehzen to Germany as they had dear old Baroness Späth.
She was, of course, reminding herself of all this so that she could justify herself in what she was about to do. ‘And to think,’ she said aloud, ‘that I, the Queen, have reached the age of eighteen and never had a bedroom to myself.’
She summoned one of her servants and noted with pleasure the awe in the woman’s eyes. She no longer served the Princess but the Queen.