And so she broke her journey at Stonehenge. As she entered its circle, the energy in the ground was so potent it made her entire body tingle. She found she could follow the flow by sense alone, making her way to the focal point. She wouldn't even need to spirit-fly to achieve connection.
She sat cross-legged with her eyes closed and visualised the Blue Fire. Instantly, she felt the force rise through her chakras, the Kundalini snake of the Eastern mystics. The site was like an enormous battery! The flames surged up her spine to her head, rushing into the metaphorical third eye. When it opened, it felt as if her skull was unfolding to let the universe in. And when she opened her real eyes, the truth was revealed.
A cathedral of flaming blue energy soared high over Stonehenge and everything within it was alive with such a potent spirituality that Mary reeled. The Elysium stood all around.
'Sharish?' Her guardian angel came forward at her summons. He bore a faint, knowing smile. She cut straight to what was on her mind. 'You weren't there randomly at Dragon Hill. You were waiting for me.' With the blue light surrounding him, he appeared truly angelic for the first time.
'Why do you say that?' he asked simply.
'I was thinking about connections and coincidences, and how some things always seem to turn out the right way… as if they're planned.'
The quality of his smile changed slightly, suggesting infinite wisdom, forever beyond Mary's reach. 'There are no coincidences.''So, there was some kind of… plan. And I thought I was acting on free will.'
'All living creatures naturally assume themselves to be the centre of the world. It is not within human nature to consider oneself a part of something much, much larger-'
'A cog in some machine-'
'-an essential part of a grand plan.'
Mary hardened. 'That Jigsaw Man — he wasn't sent after me by whoever's causing the plague. You put him on my tail.'
'Not us-'
'Then whoever you're working for. It was obvious when you think about it. The thing that created the plague, those little imps, could have destroyed me in an instant. It didn't need to set that thing hunting me across five counties. What's going on?'
Sharish nodded benignly. Mary had feared the worst — that somehow the Elysium were working with the one behind the plague — but her instinct told her otherwise. 'If you had not been pushed to the limits, you would have failed in your search,' he said.
'So it was for my own good?' she said tartly.
Sharish pressed the fingertips of both hands together and thought for a long moment, as if deciding how much he could tell her. 'Growth and development only take place through… trials. Not just for individuals, but for entire races. Trials bring about change within. Those who wish to achieve the next stage must embark on a spirit- quest. They must overcome obstacles, plumb the very depths of their resilience, develop new skills. Become.. He gave the final word added weight.
'Then the Jigsaw Man can't really kill me.'
'Oh, yes, it can. And it will. If it were not a true threat, it would not serve its purpose.' 'And is that what this plague is? A trial for the human race? Millions might die, but don't worry about them because the ones who survive will come out of it better?'
'It is a trial, but not of our making. All of life is a trial on the road to…' He caught himself. '… somewhere else. It is a school, if you will. A school for the spirit.'
'And we don't get to graduate until we pass all the exams.' She laughed without humour. 'Excuse me if I don't cheer. I'm too busy concentrating on all the pain and suffering.'
'I understand your reaction. From your perspective…'
'Oh, bollocks to it!' She flapped a hand at him. 'I suppose it's too much to ask that you just leave me alone so I can get on with what I have to do?'
'There are schemes, grand schemes, great powers beyond your wildest imaginings. From your perspective, it is impossible to see what part you play, great or small. Or what is at stake.'
'You could tell me.'
For the briefest second, his face became frightening and filled with awe; she thought she saw whole universes reflected within it. 'Your part must remain closed to you or your development will be tainted. But as to what is at stake? Everything is at stake. All of human existence has been leading to this point. We stand on the cusp of Everything… and Nothing. Of Life and the Void. Humanity must ascend if the seasons are to continue to turn.'
Sharish saw her puzzlement, and in response reached out to touch her in the middle of her forehead. An image flashed into her mind: a figure wrapped in what looked like a shroud, the one Mary had come across at the crossroads.
'The gods who came here with the Fall are not the only ones. There are greater gods above them, older gods,' Sharish said. 'They are the ones who have been guiding you. In your world, they are now seen as spirits of place, genii loci, at crossroads and lakes and rivers and mountains, but their appearances belie their true nature.'
'And the god of Wilmington and the missing Goddess are part of them?'
'They exist beyond your frame of reference,' Sharish continued obliquely. 'The scope of Existence is too vast to understand even a part of it, and it encompasses many things, in a scheme of bewildering complexity. For any living thing to see even the smallest aspect is too much.'
'You serve the Older Gods,' Mary said.
'I am one of their agents.' Sharish began to lead her back to the beckoning warmth of the blue. 'Now, I have answered your questions. So take this advice, too: you are important. All things are important. Everything plays a part. No one dies without a reason. None suffer unnecessarily.
'There is an abiding structure. There is meaning.'
Mary gained a tremendous comfort from his words. It made her feel part of something important, so that her own troubles were diminished next to it.
'You could turn back,' Sharish said. 'The one following you would likely fade away in those circumstances.'
Mary laughed at his transparency. 'You're testing me. No, I'm not going to turn back. I'm not doing this for myself. It's for Caitlin, somebody extremely valuable to me, and it's for the Goddess. I spent all my early years betraying those closest to me. Not in any big way… not selling them out to the cops or robbing them blind. But betraying them in a way that felt like I'd punched a hole in my heart. I'm not going to do that again. Perhaps this is my chance to make amends.'
Sharish's smile was astonishingly warm. He reached out to touch her on the forehead once again. Sometime later, Mary found herself alone in the shadow of one of the megaliths. Sharish had gone; the cathedral of blue fire had flickered out. Her first thought was clear: of all the people that could have been chosen, why her? She wasn't deserving. Was this really leading to the punishment she had expected for the last thirty-five years? A grand scheme to pay her back for wasting her life? Sunchaser was moored a few hundred yards down the river in a deserted port, its fantastic buildings disappearing into the depths of the forest. The final light of the fading sun had brought the midges out to dance above the water in clouds and there was a hot and sticky tropical feel to the air. It had taken Mahalia, Matt and Jack a while to pick their way through the thick tree cover while steering Crowther along with them. It was as if he were sleepwalking; he never responded to their words, never looked to right or left, but somehow managed to put one foot in front of the other.