The trio filed out with wishes of luck from those left behind. Tarrin didn't say goodbye to them, for his mind was mulling over what Renoit had said. He felt like a heel. He hadn't been very kind to the circus performers. He only knew one or two names. That seemed worse than being unfriendly to them. He didn't even bother finding out their names. He'd been on that ship for months, and he only knew four names. He could have at least been civil to them. But then again, at that point, he wasn't capable of it. He was too afraid, too feral. He was still too feral. He could tolerate speaking to strangers for short periods, but he got uncomfortable if he was forced into extended contact with them. And crowds of humans made him edgy. There was no real reason to berate himself for something beyond his control, but he couldn't deny that he felt disappointed in himself.
Jula put a paw on his knee. He glanced at her, looking into her eyes. "Can I go to sleep now?" she asked plaintively. "I'm exhausted."
"I don't think Renoit would mind if you borrowed his cot for the morning," he told her calmly.
"Good. I'm about to fall over," she said with a wide yawn.
"Feel like a game of stones, Allia?" The Amazon asked. "I'm going to beat you this time, even if I have to cheat."
"It will be all we can do," Allia smiled. "Set up the board. And be warned, if you start to cheat, I will cheat back."
"Then let's put our swords over there," she grinned. "I don't think Tarrin and Jula will be very happy if they wake up to a swordfight."
Jula scoffed as she stood. "It would take an earthquake to wake me up," she told them. "I haven't felt this tired in years." She went right over to the cot, then flopped down onto her back. "Heavenly," she said in a dreamy voice, then closed her eyes and almost immediately fell asleep.
Tarrin shapeshifted into his cat form, then padded over and jumped onto the cot. He laid down at the foot of it, laying against Jula's furred ankle, and closed his eyes quietly. Until the others came back, there was nothing else to do but sleep.
But sleep was elusive. Unlike Jula, Tarrin didn't need sleep. He could go two rides without sleeping, and his mind was too active to rest it. So much had happened, so much craziness had occured, he didn't even want to think about it. So he distracted himself with another subject, something not as grim or serious as what happened the night before.
Jula. Her presence was making him reflective, and it focused on his own first contact with his own kind, Jesmind. He missed her. Jula's heat was affecting Tarrin, but for the strangest reason, it was making him think of Jesmind. She was the first female he'd been intimate with, and in the strangest way, the only one. Mist hadn't been intimate. But Jesmind had shared herself, all of herself, and she did it both in and out of bed. She had sought to know him completely, and she had given of herself in return for that. She was such a chaotic influence on his life. Both friend and enemy, she was the only woman he'd ever known that he wanted to strangle and take to bed at the same time. Their feud had been resolved, however, and she had left him for some serious reason. He still didn't know why she left. Triana wouldn't even tell him. At first, he had missed her presence. Then he was angry with her for abandoning him. Now… now, he just wanted to see her. At least he understood her. She was very simplistic in her motives, though she had a very complex personality.
They had been together a total of only four or five days, without fighting, anyway, but he remembered all of it. And it felt like much longer than that. It had been… memorable. At that time, he'd been too nervous or confused to really appreciate what was going on. But now, looking back on it, he realized that Jesmind had gone far beyond simply being a female looking for a male, gone beyond a bond-mother educating her child. There had been more there, much more, and she never bothered to hide it from him. Jesmind liked him, very much. It may not be love-he wasn't sure if she could feel like that, since marriage was an alien concept to a Were-cat-but it was something along those lines. Infatuation, to use a good word.
Jula. She didn't interest him, not like Jesmind did. He had to admit to himself that he was changing his mind about her, but though his dislike for her had been mellowed into tolerance, he still found no real desire for her inside him, despite his instinctive reaction to her condition. All her condition was doing was making him long for Jesmind.
That was a sobering realization. Tarrin put his head on his paws and considered it. Despite all the insanity Jesmind had brought into his life, he still wanted her. Perhaps it was just a conditioned reflex, since they had been intimate. And the memory of it still made him shiver. It was more than simple lust, however. He missed her simple view of life, he missed her towering honesty and her headstrong way of attacking life. He missed her smile, her wry wit, the way she made him feel like he was the most special male in the world. He even missed her embarassing remarks. With Jesmind, he always knew where he stood.
He closed his eyes. Warm thoughts of Jesmind flowed through him, and that was enough to calm his racing mind, and allow him to drift into sleep.
GoTo: Title EoF
Chapter 26
It was much better than the circus.
Tarrin allowed himself to be carried in Allia's arms as they entered the gate of the house Dolanna, Dar, and Phandebrass had found, just as the sun began to touch the buildings on the western skyline. It was very large, impressively so, a three story townhouse enclosed in an ornate iron fence. It had a sandy plot in front of it, with two palm trees flanking the front door. A carriage house rested to the left of the building, and a storage building stood to the right. From what Dar had told him after they returned, there was a small garden in the back, yellowed from the dry summer heat. The house was whitewashed stone, with that same flat roof as all the others, and very small windows paned in glass.
"Nice," Jula remarked. She wore an Illusion of an Arakite wife, black-robed and veiled, and she walked beside the Selani. Allia glared at the Were-cat female, but said nothing. There was still a great deal of simmering hostility in Allia towards her. He may have accepted her, but Allia did not. She had been civil to her in respect of her friendship with Tarrin, but he knew that wouldn't last forever. Eventually, her emotions were going to get the better of her, and she was going to try to kill Jula. Jula already knew that trying to defend herself against Allia would be a death sentence-by Allia's hand, or by Tarrin's paw should she actually harm his sister-so at least she was prepared for that eventuality. Once Jula got away from her, Allia's temper would cool. Tarrin knew Allia very well. Any attempt on Jula would be an irrational emotional response, and it would last only as long as Jula remained in her sight.
"I say, let's not stand and gawk at the thing," Phandebrass said from behind. "Let's go inside, where it's cool."
"How much did this cost?" Camara Tal asked, hiding behind an Illusion that Dolanna was holding over her.
"Only about a hundred thousand gold shars," Dar told her. "We bought it."
"Bought? Why did you do that?"
"So we would not be held responsible for damages, and we could change things," Dolanna answered her. "Sarraya was kind enough to conjure the gold, so the cost was not an issue."
"I haven't tired myself out like that in a hundred years," the Faerie complained from above him. She was invisible-even the fluttering of her wings was masked by magic when she was like that-but her voice was clear and audible. "It was zapping up a chest of gold for Renoit that put me on the ground. Did you really need to give him that much?"
"As far as I am concerned, we did not give him enough," Dolanna told the sprite. "Renoit was a gift of the Goddess, so important was his aid. He literally got us to Dala Yar Arak alive. What you conjured for him only begins to demonstrate how grateful we are to him and his circus."
The interior of the dwelling was much like other Arakite homes he'd invaded over the days. The rooms were large, with high ceilings, and there were no hallways. The stairs ran up the side of the house's main living chamber, running from the first floor to the third, with a landing at the second floor. The first floor held that large living chamber, a kitchen, a dining room, a den with empty bookshelves, a smaller sitting parlor with old furniture, storerooms for the kitchen, and a door leading to a small, dark, surprisingly cold basement. From what Dar told him, the second and third floors were bedrooms, or whatever kind of rooms the occupants made them to be. The house was furnished in typical Arakite furniture; low, large cushioned chairs instead of couches or sofas when chairs were even there, for most Arakites preferred soft pillows and cushions laid upon a carpeted floor. The eating table was only about a span high, with cushions for the diners to sit upon instead of a traditional table and chairs. The bedrooms were more traditional, in his eyes, with beds, a washtable, and a large chest at the foot of the bed. A few bedrooms also had a vanity and armoire, rooms furnished for women, and one had a writing desk.