The sound of Ruby crying out freed me from the semi-coma I had fallen into—I was getting to my feet before I was really awake, the memory of my wounds a faraway thing. I toppled, of course, my injured leg giving way. I caught myself on the wall, barely missing a rusty nail that stuck out like a jouster’s bayonet.
I screamed in pain, but managed to cut it off when I saw that Ruby was still asleep.
‘Sorry,’ I whispered.
I found my stick and steadied myself. Ruby started thrashing around, drenched in sweat. She said Tobe’s name once or twice, others that I didn’t recognise. Everything else was a garbled mess.
It was hard to deny the absurd urge to ask her if she was all right.
I crouched beside her, stroked her head, and told her that everything would be fine. She settled a little but kept crying. I did my best to soothe her. Lost in the dark, time seemed to stand still. I began to cry with Ruby, hoping that she would be okay under my watch. People can only be so adaptable; they can only stretch so far. The world needs kids like her not to break; it needs them to keep bouncing back, no matter what happens.
I didn’t know whose life I would rather have.
At some point, Ruby stopped crying. I stood up, worked the cramp out of my limbs, tried to ignore the pain in my leg.
I was awake; wide awake. I needed a smoke.
I felt my way past the makeshift curtain, limped across the shack, managed to shove aside the broken door, entered the alley. The murmuring quiet was a little louder, but was still a far-off sound; the orange glow still spluttered in the sky; the alley was empty, the buildings lining it ruined. I breathed deeply, sucking in the cold night air. I patted my pockets, cursed myself for forgetting to bring a possum skin with me.
‘Bill, you okay?’ a voice asked.
I squinted, took my glasses off, cleaned them on my shirt, put them back on. A tiny red ember was all I could see.
‘It’s me, mate.’
Tobe? How?
The ember moved slightly. A shadow detached itself from one of the walls. Jacko stepped into a pool of moonlight, smiling crookedly around his bush tobacco.
‘How’s it going?’ he asked.
He pulled another hand-cranked lantern from his pocket, fired it up and held it aloft. Two cracked wooden crates emerged from the gloom, a patchwork cushion on one, a small metal flask and two chipped glasses on the other.
‘Expecting company?’ I asked.
‘You never know. Now, please, sit. Join an old man for a midnight drink.’
I gratefully lowered myself onto one of the crates. Jacko seemingly read my mind, passing me a leather tobacco pouch as I sat down. I rolled some up, felt around for Tobe’s lighter, and cursed my forgetful nature.
‘Here you go,’ Jacko said, smiling softly, passing me a lighter that was exactly like Tobe’s.
‘Cheers,’ I said, nonchalantly, trying to hide my surprise.
I lit up. It was smooth, the smoke full of flavours I couldn’t place, nothing like the wild stuff we harvested that never shook the taste of the bush. I beamed, unable to help myself.
‘You’re welcome,’ Jacko said.
The ruined buildings lining the alley glowed blue and cold, as ethereal as summer clouds. They had the ravaged dignity of dead trees under a full moon. They were almost beautiful.
Jacko poured two drinks, filling the glasses with a deep brown liquid.
‘So, is everything all right?’ he asked.
‘It’s Ruby, she was having some kind of nightmare.’
‘Sorry, mate. It happens to the best of us.’ He picked up one of the glasses, thrust it into my hand. ‘Here you go. To you and yours, may the sun shine on you both.’
The whiskey tasted as good as it looked, a delicious remnant of the past.
‘Not bad, eh? One of the perks of being an old man…’
Not really knowing what to say, I nodded a wordless agreement.
‘Is your little girl okay?’ Jacko asked, quickly getting us back on track.
I snorted some of the precious whiskey out my nose.
‘What? What’s so funny?’
‘Nothing, it’s just that, ah, she’s not mine. I’ve no idea who or where her folks are, or if they’re still alive. She kind of adopted me and a mate when we found her out on the land.’
Jacko swore aloud. ‘She was alone out there?’
‘Yeah, she’s as tough as old boots.’
We fell silent. I rolled some more tobacco; Jacko poured a second round. Despite his age, he had no trouble keeping up. The far-off sound of voices had grown louder again. Accompanying them were strange thuds and thumps that sometimes followed weird grunts, pained cries, more cheers from the crowd.
‘What is that?’
‘That’s how the Creeps keep this place safe. If you want a fight, that’s where you go—you tap someone on the shoulder and get to it. No one gets hurt who isn’t willing, and the meatheads can dump some of their macho bullshit. And if watching is more your thing, you can choose a seat and enjoy the show instead.’
‘You’ve got to be kidding…’
‘You’d be surprised how effective it is. Women and kids get sent to the line first, same as it ever was. People like you and me, we’re not much of a priority. And everyone knows what happens when you cram a bunch of blokes together, especially when there’s fuck all to do.’
I couldn’t help smile. ‘Buggery and biffo, eh?’
‘Boys will be boys. At least the Creeps’ way stops anyone innocent getting hurt.’
I could picture the fights—desperate, brutal acts carried out by lost men turned dangerously mean through no fault of their own. And I could picture the crowds—crazed, blood-hungry, lost, as savage as the fighters.
‘Not for me,’ I said.
‘Nor me.’ Jacko once again held his glass aloft. ‘To the health of civilisation.’
I met his toast. We drank deep. Jacko poured two more.
‘She’s a good kid, your Ruby. Even if she isn’t really yours. But if you don’t mind me saying, I hope she gets shipped north soon. This is no place for the young.’
From what I had seen, life in the camp seemed cruel and harsh and unfair. In fact, it seemed exactly the same as life everywhere else, no better and no worse.
‘Is it really that bad?’
Jacko looked at me coldly. ‘I’ve helped too many of my own kids board that train. I smiled while I saw them off, each and every time, even though I knew that I’d never see them again. I was glad—glad—that they were leaving. It meant they could have a chance above the line.’ He spat into the dust. ‘We don’t live here, we survive.’
I looked around at the endless shantytown sprawl. I marvelled at the idea of a steady supply of food and water. I listened to the muted brawling that was designed to keep me safe. I remembered life at home, those too-frequent days of hunger and thirst. I tried to imagine what it must have become, now that the people who had made it more than a mere town were presumably gone. I didn’t want to picture them being rounded up by the Creeps, or out on the road, or lying dead somewhere, gunned down while trying to defend their own. And I couldn’t stop thinking about Tobe rotting in his cell.
Something inside me shifted. ‘Jacko, how long’s it been since you set foot out there?’
I waved my arm to encompass the blind, thirsty beast the land had become. He didn’t answer me, didn’t need to.
‘I could get used to it here,’ I said defiantly.
Jacko’s face crumpled and he fell quiet. Staring into the middle distance, avoiding my eye—he obviously didn’t like where I had decided to hang my hat. I shuffled in my chair, embarrassed. Jacko ignored me completely. With much chagrin, I got to my feet.
‘Sorry. And sorry about your kids.’
He looked at me, smiling sadly. ‘Cheers. Just look after your own, okay? Make sure she doesn’t miss the breakfast bell—it’ll be light before you know it.’