Mary Stuart looked at her old friend seriously for a moment. They had been estranged for so many years. “No, they don't. I'm glad. I'm glad I came.” She looked right into Zoe's eyes.
“So am I, Stu. I wish I hadn't been stupid way back then. I wish we'd talked over the years. I'm just glad we saw each other now. I would have hated to have this stay between us.” It had gone on for long enough. Ellie had been laid to rest for more than twenty years, and their old battles could be too. Looking back, it seemed so foolish and such a pathetic waste of time. “I owe Tanya one for asking you here and not telling me.”
“She's a cagey little thing, isn't she?” Mary Stuart laughed. “All the way here on the bus she never said a word. I should have suspected something though. She said ‘we’ a couple of times before I agreed to come, and I think her assistant said something about ‘they’ and three rooms. I thought she meant the kids. It never dawned on me she'd invited anyone. And it worked out so well for me when Alyssa canceled our trip. I had nothing to do.”
“It's a godsend for me too.” She thought of the light on the mountains that morning when Sam had called to tell her Quinn Morrison had died. She told Mary Stuart about it, as they sat at the narrow counter in the kitchen alcove, and sipped their coffee.
“It must be depressing work,” Mary Stuart said quietly. “I admire you for it, but you just can't win.” She thought of how awful it had been when Todd had died, she couldn't imagine dealing with that every day. But then again, he had been her son, not her patient.
“You can win for a while. And oddly enough, it's not depressing most of the time. You learn to take the little victories, you get more and more determined to win the fight. And sometimes you lose.” She lost a lot of the time, it was inevitable. But some of it had to do with the circumstances, and how ready the patient and the family were to let go. Sometimes it was just time, like with Quinn. It was the children she hated to lose most, and the young people, the ones who had so much left to live and to learn and to give. Like herself. But she hadn't absorbed that yet.
“You're lucky you found the right path for yourself so long ago,” Mary Stuart said, envying her, and enjoying her company. It was easy to remember why they had been such good friends. The rift seemed so unimportant now. In the sunlight of honesty, it had finally vanished. “I do a lot of charity work in New York, a lot of committees and volunteer work, but I've been thinking of getting a job. I just don't know what I'd do. All I've ever really done is be a wife, and mother to our kids.”
“That's not bad.” Zoe smiled at her, suddenly realizing how much she'd missed her. And in the unexpected twilight of her life, she realized how much she needed her friends now. It was all the more poignant for her because she had always thought she would have so much time, and now she didn't. “Being a wife and mother is a job too.”
“Well, in that case,” Mary Stuart said, setting down her mug, “I think my job is almost over. Alyssa is grown up. Todd is gone, I'm not even a wife to Bill anymore. We just live at the same address and my name is on his tax forms. Suddenly, I feel useless.”
“You're not. Maybe it's just time to move on.”
She was right, but the problem was to where. Mary Stuart had been doing a lot of thinking. “I keep looking for the answers, of what to do, where to live, what to tell Bill when he comes back. I don't even want to talk to him right now. But he doesn't want to talk to me either. He hardly ever calls. Maybe he's going through the same thing, and just doesn't want to say it. He must realize that it's all over.”
“Maybe you should ask him,” Zoe said, and looked at her watch, wondering when Tanya was going to get up, and then she glanced at Mary Stuart. “What time are we supposed to be at breakfast?”
“Eight o'clock, I think.” It was seven-thirty by then, and they had to dress, and then Mary Stuart looked at her old friend with a quizzical expression. “Are you leaving today?” Her voice was very gentle.
There was a long pause and then Zoe shook her head. “I'd rather not, unless you want me to. But it's up to you, you've come the greatest distance. If anyone leaves, I should.”
Mary Stuart smiled at her gently. “I want you to stay, Zoe, and I'd like to stay too. Let's put all that stuff behind us. We both loved Ellie, we all did. She would have wanted us all to be together. Of all of us, she was the most loving, the most giving, it would have broken her heart to know that we hadn't spoken for twenty-one years because of her.” It was true and they both knew it.
Zoe was frowning, thinking of her. “She deserves to have a broken heart, after what she did to all of us. I think I was so rotten to you at the time because I was so mad at her and there was no one to take it out on.”
“I went through the same thing with Todd. I was mad at everyone for the first six months, Alyssa, her friends, myself, the maid, the dog, Bill,” she said sadly, “and he still is mad. I think he always will be.”
“Maybe he's just stuck,” Zoe said kindly. “I was. I was mad for a long time, and when I got over it, you were gone, we had all gone our separate ways. You'd married Bill, I was in medical school, it seemed easier to let it slide, but I was wrong to do that. Maybe Bill is sliding too.” It was a fair assessment and Mary Stuart nodded.
“I think he slid right out the door a while back and I didn't notice.” She smiled and then looked at her watch again. It was twenty to eight and they had to get ready for breakfast. “What do you say we wake sleeping beauty?” They grinned at each other, and laughing all the way, they tiptoed to her room, and pounced on the huge bed, on either side of her. She was wearing a white satin nightgown and a sleep mask, and she acted as though she were being roused from the dead when they woke her.
“Oh, God… stop it… I hate you… stop that…” Zoe was tickling her feet, and Mary Stuart was hitting her with pillows. They were just like two kids, and Tanya was overwhelmed as she tried to hide beneath the covers and found she couldn't. “Will you stop it! Stop that! It's the middle of the night, for God's sake!” She had always hated getting up in the morning, and they always had to drag her out of bed so she wouldn't miss her morning classes.
“Take off your sleep mask,” Mary Stuart said. “Breakfast is in fifteen minutes, and the stuff on the desk says we have to be at the corral at eight forty-five to pick out our horses. Get your ass out of bed and get ready.” She sounded totally in charge, and Zoe was dragging her out of bed by one arm, as Tanya took off her mask and looked from one to the other.
“Did I hear you say you were going to the corral? Does this mean you're staying?”
“Apparently we have no choice,” Zoe said, letting go of her and glancing at Mary Stuart with a spark of mischief in her eye, “if we don't, you'll sleep the week away, and never get out of the room until dinner. We thought we'd stick around and keep you honest. We know how much you hate horses. Without us, you'd probably sit in your room all day, watching television from the Jacuzzi.”
“God, what a great idea.” Tanya grinned, proud of both of them, they had done it. After all these years, they'd come to their senses and restored their friendship. “Why don't you check back with me at lunchtime, I thought I'd give myself a facial.”
“Get your ass out of bed, Miss Thomas,” Mary Stuart barked at her. “You have exactly twelve minutes to brush your teeth, comb your hair, and get your clothes on.”
“Christ, what is this, the Marines? I knew I shouldn't have asked you two here. I could have brought nice people, who treat me right, and let me get a little sleep. I'm a very important person.”
“The hell you are,” Mary Stuart said with a broad grin, “now get out of that bed. You can take a shower later.”