'This time it appears that a strand of the world's spell-weave actually gave way. Have no fear; it is a small wound in a healthy body, and will repair itself. But I am glad that you won't be speaking your last word for a while.'
'Especially since I have no idea what it does,' said Pazel. 'A word that "blinds to give new sight"? What does that mean? I'm no closer to guessing than I was the day I learned it.'
Ramachni looked at him strangely again. Was that pity in his eyes?
'There will be no guessing, if we ever reach that point,' said Ramachni. 'Which is not to say that your decision will be easy. The first two words tested your courage. Not that I had any wish to test you. I do not play such games. But in fact you had to be strong enough not to waste them, by using them too soon. The last word, I think, will require courage just to speak at all.'
'Wonderful,' said Pazel. 'Is that what you came here to tell me?'
'No,' said Ramachni. 'In fact I didn't come to tell you a thing. I came because you made it possible, and above all I came to listen. So tell me, how goes the fight? Where are the Nilstone, and Arunis? Above all, how are our friends?'
Pazel's look was incredulous. 'You don't know?'
'Pazel, you are asleep on a ship in the heart of the Nelluroq. I am asleep in a distant land, in a healing pool under a vertical mile of stone. I can see you, and a bubble of light around you the size of a woodshed, but all the rest is darkness. We are both dreaming — only when a mage shares your dream, things become possible that otherwise would not be. Choice, for instance. I hope you will choose to bring me up to date.'
Pazel looked in the direction of the Vortex. 'Is time passing?'
'Always,' said Ramachni.
He would have to be quick about it, then. But where to start? With the worst, with the part that was still misery to think of. 'Diadrelu,' he said, 'was murdered by her clan.'
Ramachni closed his eyes, letting his head sink down upon his forepaws. 'Go on,' he said.
Once Pazel began to talk it was a relief. But as he skimmed over all that had happened since Ramachni's departure he felt a growing shame. What had they managed to do, after all, besides harass the conspirators, and fight Arunis to a draw? For all the effect they'd had on the voyage they might as well have spent the past months locked up with the steerage passengers.
Ramachni shook his head. 'Things are not as dark as you believe,' he said. But his voice was low and sad.
'I'm not a fool, Ramachni,' said Pazel tightly. 'I can see how dark things are. We had a task. The Red Wolf chose seven of us to get rid of the Nilstone. You yourself said that we'd all have something vital to do, something essential. Didn't you?'
'Yes,' said Ramachni.
'Well Dri was one of the seven, and she's gone. That means we're failing. Why don't you tell me the blary truth.' Pazel rose and paced a few steps away, shaking with frustration. The low roar of the Vortex throbbed in his ears. Suddenly he stopped dead. He took a deep breath, and spoke without turning.
'I'm sorry. I can't believe I said that. I know we mustn't fail.'
'You already have,' said Ramachni.
Pazel whirled around. Ramachni was standing as still as before, watching him with those black eyes that always made him think of bottomless pits — yet never of cruelty, until this moment.
'Are you laughing at me?' said Pazel.
'No,' said the mage, 'I am telling the truth, as you demanded. And the truth is that I don't see how you can do as Erithusme hoped you would, when she built the Red Wolf. One of the seven has died, and yes, all seven had something vital to do. I cannot tell you what, for I don't know myself: the plan was hers, not mine. But now I think it very likely that Arunis will succeed in finding a way to use the Nilstone. If he does, he will set fire to this garden called Alifros, and there will be no Master-Word mighty enough to put that fire out.'
'But we were chosen-'
'You were chosen because you had the best chance of success. A chance is not a destiny, Pazel. The latter was always in your hands, and yours alone.'
Pazel couldn't believe his ears. If there was one being he never thought would admit defeat, it was Ramachni. He felt abandoned, and at the same time he felt that he had let everyone down. Everyone. His mother and father. Old Captain Nestef, the first Arquali sailor who believed in him. The tarboy Reyast, who had died helping them uncover the conspiracy. Diadrelu. Thasha and Neeps and Hercol and Fiffengurt. Even Fiffengurt's child. He felt, irrationally, that he had betrayed them all.
It took him a moment to find his voice; when he did, it sounded lifeless and small. 'Fine, then. We've failed. You're the wise one, Ramachni. What do you propose we do?'
'At the moment I see but two options,' said the mage. 'You can take a running leap from the rail of the Chathrand. Or you can fight on, although that may require you to live with failure-'
'Or die with it,' said Pazel.
'-or to redefine success to fit your circumstances.'
'What does that mean? Do you think we stand a chance, or not?'
'Of course you stand a chance,' said the mage. 'Pazel, the world is not a music box, built to grind out the same song for ever. A man with your Gift ought to know that any song may spring from this world — and any future. If Erithusme's plan for the Nilstone is thwarted, why, seek another way. And now I must give you a message for Arunis.'
'But I told you,' said Pazel, 'he disappeared. I'm hoping the rats ate him, personally.'
'Arunis is alive and on this ship. That much I can sense even at the distance of a dream. When he emerges from hiding, you can be sure that it will not be to talk. But I would suggest you do not wait — find him, pry him out of his den. And if you do speak to him before I have the pleasure, tell him that the bear was nothing. Can you remember that?'
' "The bear was nothing," ' said Pazel, dumbfounded.
Ramachni nodded. Suddenly he shook himself, head to tail, a movement of satisfaction and eagerness. 'My strength comes back to me,' he said. 'When you see me next you will not be dreaming. Then you shall learn what it is to have a wizard fight at your side. Unless of course you decide to take that leap.'
'Now you are laughing.'
'A bit, lad. But don't be angry, for I love you like a son. And that is a blessing for an ancient creature like myself, who never had children, and whose first family is so many centuries dead that even he begins to forget them. Remember: I will come when things are dark — terribly dark, darker than you thought to see.'
'Can't you tell me what that means?' begged Pazel.
'If I knew, don't you think I would say so? I am a prisoner to these riddles every bit as much as you, although I hear them from another source. But here in the wake of riddles is a fact: I am proud of you all. Fiercely proud, of your goodness and your strength. And now, Pazel, it is time for us both to WAKE UP.'
His last words exploded like a cannon shot, and with them he disappeared. Pazel had no sense of falling, but he was suddenly flat on the deck again. Thasha stirred beside him, filthy with ash and grime, and from all around them came the groans and exclamations of waking men.
40
16 (?) Ilbrin 941
The Honourable Captain Theimat Rose
Northbeck Abbey, Mereldin Isle, South Quezans
Dear Sir,
Never were there stranger circumstances for a letter. I do not know whether to address you with pride or shame, so rather than either I shall begin with a warning: you must henceforth assume that the Lady Oggosk will read every letter you send me. She has not changed a wire hair from the days when she used to waddle into your house without wiping her shoes. She is a vulgar, conniving, calculating hag. And yet — grudgingly, and at great cost — she does perform the services of a nautical witch. I tolerate her because I cannot replace her.