And Hannah asked Ed Feasley to buy her a glass of beer. While he was getting it she turned to Stanley and said, — I hear you're going to Rome and be a Pilgrim. Where you getting the money?
— My mother. . left it.
— Insurance? you can't get insurance if you. .
— No, it was. . she had it pinned in her clothing, in her underclothing.
— I hear your lady friend with the white fingernails went out a window too.
— What? Stanley looked at her aghast.
— Didn't you hear? Max was in here, he had a newspaper. It's all over the front page. She jumped out a hotel window.
— No but, she wouldn't have jumped, she might have. . fallen, he faltered. — She wouldn't just… to kill herself. .
— She jumped, don't be… that way about it, she jumped. And she didn't kill herself, she just smashed herself up. She's in Bellevue the paper says. Hannah accepted her beer, sipped it without a word, and turned, — Hey where you going?
— Well I thought I might go over there, over to Bellevue. .
— Come on, for Christ sake, you can't go in there this late. You probably can't visit her anyhow. She's probably all strung up there. .
— Please. . Stanley said, looking up with sudden appeal at Ed Feasley who stood staring at the floor, silent.
They were all three silent for a moment, looking down, and Don Bildow's plaintive voice reached them. — She's all swollen up, and just before I sail. I don't know if I should go with her like this.
— Dropsy?
— How could a six-year-old girl have dropsy? Bildow moaned, fingering the yellow and brown necktie which seemed to support him.
— I mean Chrahst, what happens to people? Ed Feasley asked finally. Stanley stood looking numb. — And I mean Chrahst, everybody's leaving, everybody's going abroad. I haven't been in Paris since I was seven years old, Chrahst to go there now! I mean to Saint Germain des Prés where they're imitating Greenwich Village and here we are in Greenwich Village still imitating Montmartre. . I mean Chrahst. Hannah had been watching him narrowly, noting the strain in his voice, the forced way he spoke and looked away. When he looked up and saw her he started to speak again, sounding more forced and talking about Max in order to avoid talking about something else. — And I mean did you see that fistful of Confederate money Max had? All these old ten- and twenty-dollar Confederate bills, he said he picked them up for almost nothing, I mean what does he want with that if he's going to Paris? I mean, you know? Chrahst. And I saw him talking to Bildow, I mean how come he gets along so well with Bildow after that poem thing, that poem Bildow published. .
— He explained that, Hannah said. — He didn't steal it, he said that skinny girl, you remember the one, she used to write poetry, or she told everybody she did. Max said she gave it to him and asked him to have it published under his name. I guess she pretended she didn't want to use her own name in case people didn't like it. That was a lousy trick, getting Max in trouble like that. She was probably high. They picked up that junkie she had hanging around.
— What happened to her?
— I don't know.
— I mean Chrahst what happens to people. You know? I mean, like Anselm, did you hear about him? He joined a monastery Max told me. I mean Chrahst I'd just as soon be dead. Look out, you're spilling your beer.
— Did he… is that true? Stanley asked.
— I mean Chrahst how do I know? Ed Feasley said impatiently. — It's what Max told me. Some silent order out west.
— I always thought he was queer, said Hannah.
— But… is that true? Stanley repeated, staring at Ed Feasley.
— How do I know! Ed Feasley burst out at him. — I mean, I told you. . I'm sorry but, Chrahst, I mean haven't we all had enough of all this? They looked at him with surprise, because his voice was that different, it almost broke; and then he recovered without looking up at them mumbling, — Because Chrahst I mean you can't just you know I mean Chrahst. .
— I heard you bought an airplane, Stanley said after a moment.
Ed Feasley nodded but did not look up. And then Hannah asked him,
— Was that true? what we saw in the paper? Was that your father in the Times this morning?
— How do I know, I don't read the Times. Chrahst. I suppose it was. Then he looked up. — Have you got a cigarette? They both looked blank. — What do you mean? he broke out again. — About all this. . these charges of collusion with a foreign government, and the whole works going to hell, and then my old man has a stroke on top of that? Is that what you mean? I mean Christ say what you mean.
— She. . she didn't mean anything, Stanley said putting a hand out.
— Well Chrahst nobody means anything, Feasley drew away muttering, and stood rubbing the floor with his shoe.
— But you. . you're all right, about money? you did have plenty of money, if you could buy an airplane. .?
— That thing, it crashed in Florida. Were you ever in Tampa? I mean to Chrahst what a lousy town that is, Tampa. They were nasty as hell about it.
— You crashed? in a plane crash?
— I was taking off, I hit this flock of lousy birds.
— But you got out all right? you weren't hurt?
— Chrahst no, I never knew what happened after I saw those white birds right in front of me. I was drunk. I mean Chrahst, what a Chrahst-awful mess everything is, everything at once.
Ed Feasley stood watching his toe rub the floor board, grinding a cigarette stub there into the wood, and would not look up until their continued silence provoked him. He looked up, and they looked down.
— I mean, my old man, Chrahst I never liked the old bastard, but I… I hate like hell to see him like this, just. . just sitting there and he can't move a thing, he just sits there.
When Hannah started to speak, Stanley looked at her apprehensively as though he expected some note of acid triumph (and she had, at that, been referred to in a news item on her arrest the night she was doing her laundry in the subway washroom, as a Stalinist, or Trotskyite, or the parent that combined them both, some such); for each of these two seemed to feel that they had suddenly lost a friend, or at the least an affluent acquaintance upon whom they could call in some moment of extremity, as indeed they had: or say that someone of those dimensions had simply gone out of their lives, and someone else, bearing superficial resemblances, come in. So Stanley was surprised to see the same expression on Hannah's face that he felt on his own; and her tone, which could not help but be bitter, perhaps the more so for all this, was a relief for she changed the subject abruptly with, — Do you remember that fucking faggot that knocked me down at Max's party that night? Have you heard about him?
— Herschel. . what?
— He's a movie star.
— Him?
— He's a movie star. He's the new most eligible bachelor in Hollywood.
— Good Chrahst.
— He's going to be Saint Sebastian in a movie about the Virgin Mary.
— But he was. . Saint Sebastian was third century. . Stanley complained feebly.
— Good Chrahst. I mean, this is like a post mortem, like the night that Otto and I… Chrahst. I don't know. Ed Feasley looked round him. — I mean when I come down here all these people remind me of parts of me that never grew up.
— We live in a country that never grew up.
— We live in a whole God damn world that never grew up, said Ed Feasley. — And everybody's leaving. I mean, he looked round again, — everybody's gone. Where are they going? What are they going to do when they get over there?
— Bildow's going over to get laid, said Hannah.
— I mean Chrahst, I almost don't blame him. You know? The only use I ever found for a condom was to fill it up with water and roll it around on the floor. We used to do that in college. I mean you'd be surprised how tremendous they get. It's like a big piece of water with nothing around it rolling around.