— Hahauuuu!…
— You…
— Who?. .
— He? He's been standing there, Stephen said calmly, as calm as he had sounded when first intruded upon. — Didn't you know he was standing there? Stephen asked, with the same simplicity he had shown when he was discovered at work. — You know him, don't you?
— Yes, he… he's the janitor here, Ludy got out, staring up at the porter who filled the doorway, and with apparently no idea that his presence had provoked any more than mere notice, showed no sign of moving. He stood there a good head taller than the figure in Irish thorn-proof, and seemed to stand as massive and motionless as the walls, out of respect for the engagement he had interrupted.
— Casa con dos puertas, mala es guardar, eh? Stephen addressed the old man easily, and pleasantly. The porter answered him in the same familiar manner, and shrugged his heavy shoulders. He lowered his head, and a smile commenced to break the lines on his fare, pressing the disease scars away until they were almost out of sight in the flesh. But the smile stopped there: the lines restrained it, and the scars showed out.
— He's like all the old men I've ever known, Stephen said quietly, as the panel under his elbow came slowly face down on the table.
Ludy stared at the square of gray sky in the wall above while they talked in Spanish, pressing his heels against the wall as though he were going to leap for it, though their voices were low and casual, and Stephen shrugged and almost smiled as he spoke, a shock which brought Ludy down full-footed on the floor, slowly, but looking at the figure standing by the table with incredulity as though he had emerged Jroin the stone. Nonetheless Stephen's smile stopped where the other did, unrestrained by deep lines and scars, but it stopped.
The old man was talking, and Stephen, looking at him as though listening, said in a low tone, — Me comes to watch me work sometimes. . and got out a sharp constricted sound near a laugh as he picked up the remaining loaf from the littered table. — He says it's like Sigisinundo in the cell. You've read that haven't you?
— No, Ludy answered helplessly, looking down at the space between the leg and the door frame as though he might try to slip through it.
— You haven't read about Sìgismundo in the cell? "Vive Dios, que pudo ser!". . falling off a balcony into the sea, though there's trouble there because Poland has no seaports. Vive Dios, que pudo ser! You haven't read La Vida es Sueño? Here. .
Ludy saw a piece of bread held thrust before him. He took it and stood holding it. He could hear the old man chewing beside him. The two figures seemed to be crowding him to the wall.
— He is a penitente, Stephen said, close upon him, — when he came out of prison. Though think!. . for him she's still a child, and beautiful in wax, while his face is old and broken like the ruins everywhere here, the past left where it happened. There's a permanence of disaster here, left where we can refer to it, the towers of the Moors lie where they fell, and you'll find people living in them, whole cities jealous of the past, enamored parodies weighed down with testimonial ruins, and they don't come running to bury the old man, but give him the keys to the church, and he rings the bells. He says she comes to him carrying lilies that turn to flames when he takes them. You see how I trust him.
Ludy looked down at the bread, which was crumbling in his hand. ~I… I have to… go…
— I have to trust him. That it comes to this, envying an old man. Why, two thousand years ago, thirty-three was old, and time to die. "A curse on youth, that age must overcome; a curse on health, that illness destroys; a curse on life, which death interrupts!" You know Buddha's immaculate conception, and dead of an indigestion of pork? "Age, illness, death, could they be forever enchained!" I have to trust him, for we're here together now, and penitent for rape and murder.
— You've. . killed someone? Ludy said looking up at last from the bread crumbling in his hand, to see the lines round the same dull eyes draw into the beginnings of a wince, so close he could see the clotted buds of veins broken beneath the skin of the eyelids, as the lips tried to force the wince into a smile but only become tighter and tighter as Stephen spoke, breathless but not excited, a purely physical halting of his voice, as though there were not enough breath at once to finish all that he had to tell.
— In Africa, Algeria, the bullet went right through and broke his neck, in Sidi-bel-Abbès, I'll tell you. J'ai le Canard he'd got tattooed across his forehead, in the broken letters of a child's hand. . He paused, looking into Ludy's face anxiously, an appealing moment, until he brought up the last of the bread and bit into it fiercely, hunched to catch the crumbs in his empty palm.
— "Mon Legionnaire!" A ghoum, simpering up to the table where we sat, I and the poor policeman arguing if daylight time was black upon the moon. "Et toi, divine Mort, où tout rentre et s'eíface, accueille tes enfants dans ton sein étoilé. ." The poor policeman read Leconte de Lisle. And he called me romantic! for planning escape to the desert. "Shave and clean up a bit," he says, "or I must arrest you." No money, no papers, it's more shameful than being naked out in the streets in daylight. But at night we talked, the girl gashed with tattoos in Djelfa, or her in Biskra wearing louis d'or at her throat and a safety pin in her ear. "The desert is well patroled, and you're dead in four hours without water. It's romantic! I won't permit it. I have my duty to do. You speak of reality. No, I know these stunts," he goes on, we were friends, understand, "hiring a camel and setting off in secret, to journey a night and a day and turn your mount loose in the desert, and lie down and wait for the dawn. 'Affranchis-nous du temps, du nombre et de 1'espace, et rends-nous le repos que la vie a trouble.' " Then he looks at his watch. We were friends for some time there. The blue gash down her forehead, and up the chin and the heels, three hundred francs in Sfax on a Saturday night, the gold louis d'or and the feathers and bars in the door. Or tea in Bou-Saâda, she offers it bristling there on the rug on the floor, the porches ready to fall from the fronts of the houses, and her mother stays in the room, guarantee that she's Ouled-Naïl for the dance that shocks the French tourists, the musicians play to the wall and it jumps like something was living and jumping inside, in town, while their stripes stretch over the edge of the desert near the shells of colonists' houses. But here where the Legion's quartered, the black beard grows, "Defense de raser," she tells me, "les médicastres francais s'entendent," encouraging crabs. And the guards wilt with bayonets fixed in the street. So here's Han, in the Legion, a ghoum, coming up to our table on the walk outside the cafe. Le Cafard tattooed on his forehead, but wait. That's nothing, you'll see, when they took down his pants. He stops to spit on the road, and looks up like an animal, "You! You have come here to join us! What pleasure this is, to see you, at last, here, to join me again. Hey?. . how fine it will be now, together. Where have you been all this time, since Koppel, remember? Do you remember? The old fool he was. And Frau Fahrtmesser, and Minchen, the pig and her daughter, remember? How happy we were! Die Jungfrau? And how young! Do you remember all that? And now! my dear friend, how fine it will be, together. At first it is hard, but I can watch out for you, hey? At first the Legion is hard, but with me, you and me, you. . but you. . but that's why you're here? to join us? to join me in… this?. ." And he holds up his khaki shirt ounched in a fist, standing over me. "Yes, no other reason for coming to bel-Abbès, but to… come in… with me?" So the sun had gone down, and when I drew back and said "No," he stared for a minute. He stared, and he hissed, "And now you! We were cheated, now you… I will tell you both how we were cheated. They betrayed us, and now… I will tell you." He spoke low, he was gathering force that might have escaped in his voice, and his shoulders climbed higher restraining, until he could say, "I hate you. I hate you very much. Do you understand how I hate you? Even then, I hated you. . there was something missing, and I always hated you, even then, or… it wouldn't be so missing." Then he rushed at me. The bullet caught him right through, and broke his neck. Sir-reverence, the bastard was dead. And since then, I've been wandering. The policeman turned up his face with the toe of a boot, and then let the blue letters roll back in the dirt, and the wind blew the blond head full of dirt from the street, and since then I've been traveling. "Get away! You were not even here! Do you understand? Get away!" And what could I do? The policeman. . we were friends for some time there. He stood over that thing in the dirt with his gun in his hand, and when two or three people had seen it he put it away unfired, and looked at his watch, and since then I've been moving. He knew. We'd talked so much together, he knew he was sending me on, and since then I've been voyaging, until I came here. It's a place here to rest, to rest here, finally, a place here to rest, and the work, to start it all over again, alone. .