We’d spent the night catching quick cat naps between love and talk. I told him I’d like the chance to apologize to Marcia, and perhaps we could all get together for dinner the next time I was in L.A. Who knew when that was going to be, but I was hoping for Christmas.
We were never going to have the kind of relationship that allowed us to see each other every day, at least not for the foreseeable future. And Jack would probably never come home from work with a briefcase after a hard day. He’d probably never cut the lawn on the weekend. And while I do own several aprons and make a kickass meatloaf, I’d likely never be the “little woman,” marinating in a traditional house in the suburbs.
Neither of us really wanted that, but I did disclose a little fantasy I had about role playing: me in an apron and him with a briefcase. He agreed wholeheartedly, providing of course that I wear high heels like Donna Reed. And we both dissolved into laughter when I mentioned I’d also wear my pearl necklace. We watched as the Manhattan night gave way to a gray morning, then showered quickly and headed out.
We knew there were still things we had to talk about and work through, but we were both optimistic now. We were a team. And when we pulled up to the airport and I had to let him go again, although I was sick to my stomach, I felt a newfound strength of spirit. I kissed him fiercely in the cab, wrapping my arms around him and telling him I loved him over and over again. Our antics in the Four Seasons elevator the day before, while romantic and sweet, were not smart, and we’d agreed to go back to being as discreet as possible. We weren’t hiding, but we wouldn’t flaunt it either. It just made more sense to use discretion.
And besides, there was something wonderfully wicked about knowing he and I could have something private, just us. The entire world was clamoring to know about him, but we could have our personal life be just for us, for as long as we could keep it that way.
“Call me when you land in L.A.?” I asked, sweeping kisses across his face as he held me tight.
“Of course,” he answered, kissing me breathless.
“And you behave out there, hear me? No more benders?” I teased, but I did have a legitimate twinge of concern over his coping method of choice when left on his own.
“No more benders.” He smiled back.
“Thank you, George.” I sighed into his neck, feeling the tears begin.
“For what, Gracie?” He raised my chin to look at me.
“For not giving up on me,” I answered, and he smiled my favorite smile.
“That’s my schmaltzy girl,” he said, his eyes full of love.
A horn blaring shocked us out of our reverie, and we laughed as our cabbie swore in three languages at the other driver.
Jack kissed me once more, told me he loved me, and was gone. He disappeared into a sea of people inside the terminal, hoodie up and shades on.
I was sad, but not as sad as I thought I’d be. I knew now we could get through just about anything, including the sort of terror I alone could produce. I knew now what it felt like to be without him, and that would never happen again.
As the cab headed back into the city, my phone blipped. I had a text.
Thanks for leaving me with a little schmaltz.
Jesus, George.
Chapter 18
After Jack left New York, our relationship changed—for the better. We were more open and honest with each other. I held back nothing. I told him my thoughts and fears, and bolstered by my admissions, he shared with me as well. We talked every night, long past my bedtime, and while I did not think it possible, we fell more in love.
He’d been all over the place and hardly in L.A. since he came to see me, and he was still busy with additional Time obligations. Box office sales from the first two weeks alone had ensured that the film was now a franchise, and the studio had already green-lighted the second installment. The script was being written, and they’d told him shooting could start as early as February. He’d also been in negotiations for several other studio films, all of which Holly was overseeing like a hawk. They were both exhausted, but very happy with the way his career was shaping up.
Over time, the fallout from the pictures of him with the blonde died down, and shockingly, there was no fallout from our elevator groping at the Four Seasons. Whether those ladies had just not gotten the money shot, or they decided out of the kindness of their quilted hearts to keep the pictures for their own private collections, they never made the papers. Or TMZ. Or Access Hollywood, or anywhere.
I stretched out leisurely in my seat, removed my ear buds, and put them back in my bag. It was December seventeenth, and I was almost home. It was time to return all belongings and make sure my tray table was in its upright and locked position. I looked out the window at the familiar landscape and thought about the last time I’d been on a plane bound for California. What a disaster.
I finished the last of the warm chocolate chip cookies so thoughtfully provided to first-class passengers and sipped the last of my complimentary wine. Why I always felt the need to indulge in free alcohol I’ll never know, but I was pleasantly sauced. And happy.
As I gazed out at the unmistakable terrain of California, the plane banked left, and I saw the ocean for the first time. I thought about the last month, and what had now led me back to L.A.
The show? Well, it went…well.
When the reviews came out, I was thrilled to see it had been well received. They thought I killed it too! We still didn’t know if the show would be picked up or not, but this was encouraging. For all three weeks, we sold out every night, and the show was beginning to generate quite a bit of buzz. The Village Voice even wrote a little piece, which highlighted Michael as a talented writer and yours truly as a new voice in the world of musical theater. We were flying high.
So when we got word that the show wouldn’t be picked up for a full production—at least not right away—we were all a little surprised. Although, as Michael explained patiently during a teary cast meeting, sometimes even the best shows never see the light of day outside a workshop. But it was a tough pill to swallow. We’d worked so hard, and I’d put everything I had—and some things I didn’t know I had—into making Mabel real.
Nevertheless, the cast bid each other tear-soaked goodbyes, and Michael and I parted ways in a much better place than when we’d parted years ago. He had another project lined up, and he was headed to Connecticut to spend the holidays with his family, including Keili’s new baby. We promised to keep each other in the loop, and he said he’d let me know if he heard anything. I knew this time we’d keep in touch.
Which led me to here and now, back on a plane to L.A. I had some freelance writing projects I could pick back up, and Holly was already beginning to line up auditions for me in the new year. The life of the actor—always so close and yet so far away.
Ah, well. Actually, part of me was quite pleased to be heading back to L.A. My New York adventure had been grand and exciting, but I missed my home, I missed my friends, and I missed my Brit. He’d soon be back in L.A. as well after another quick UK press tour for Time (evidently London missed their Brit too). I couldn’t wait to be alone with him, in my home, in our bed.
I knew it would be hard to find another role as perfect as Mabel had been, but I’d adapt. And although it was little scary not knowing what would happen next, after so many years of knowing exactly what the next day would bring, I kind of liked not knowing. Plus, since I’d killed it with Mabel, I felt pretty sure I could do just about anything.
The plane began its final descent, and as I yawned to keep my ears clear, I indulged in a little daydreaming about my George.
Since I’d opened the floodgates, we’d talked a lot over the past weeks about some of my, and therefore some of our, issues. I actually finally had the nerve to bring up having kids again on the phone late one night. Being the emotionally mature one, turns out he’d been waiting for me.