‘How I should like to see Mrs Fitzherbert again!’ sighed Charlotte.
And after Lulworth the magnificent ruins of Corfe Castle.
These trips, the fresh air, her pleasure in the beautiful county of Dorset greatly restored the Princess’s spirits and with them, her health.
There was no doubt that the visit to Weymouth had been an unqualified success, and with the coming of November, with its mists and cold winds, it was decided that the time had come for her to return to Cranbourne Lodge.
Shortly after her return to Cranbourne the Regent came to see her.
When she knew that he was in the house she was thrown into a flutter of excitement; she tried to calm herself; she prayed for courage. She was terrified that he would express his disappointment in her.
She found him looking younger than he had looked for some years. It was due to a nut-brown wig, discreetly curled and unpowdered. His face looked less ruddy beneath it and this gave him a look of better health. His dazzling white neckcloth took care of his chins, and not having seen him for so long she had forgotten how beautifully his clothes seemed to have been moulded on to his body; and his buckskin breeches fitted so neatly that they too seemed like part of him; his calves really were magnificent and surely the diamond star on his dark-blue coat glittered more brilliantly than ever.
She lifted her eyes to his almost appealingly and was immediately taken into his scented embrace.
‘My dear Charlotte, I rejoice to see you in such healthy looks.’
‘Why, Papa … you … you look more handsome than ever.’
She had spoken spontaneously and for once she had chosen the right words.
He laughed. ‘I hear the Weymouth expedition was a great success. I am glad. You are like me. We do appreciate the sea air. You must come and inspect my new improvements at the Pavilion. You will see changes.’
So they were not going to refer to what he had called her ‘elopement’; that was done with; they were going on from there. A sense of wild happiness seized her. Perhaps now everything was going to be different.
He took her arm and they walked around the room. He liked sauntering about rooms, although Cranbourne Lodge could not offer him the pleasure he derived from the Pavilion and Carlton House.
She would soon be of age, he said, and they must be seen more together. For the moment she must stay at Windsor but he had plans for her … plans. The year had been one of the most glorious in English history. He wanted everyone to realize this. That was why all honour must be paid to the great Wellington. They were fighting a sea war, as she no doubt knew, with America and this was something which grieved him, for here were Englishmen fighting against Englishmen. Very different, she would understand, from fighting that fellow Napoleon. But he had great hopes that in a few weeks she would hear that peace had been declared between the English and Americans; and she would be as delighted as he was.
She listened nodding, agreeing because she was happy to walk with him thus, up and down, to the windows looking out, through to the next room and back again, and all the time his arm through hers, as though he were interested in talking to her.
He had never been quite like this before.
‘It is a relief to me,’ he said at length, ‘that your mother is out of the country. You must understand these matters now. You are no longer a child, Charlotte. We must be watchful of that boy of hers. While I am alive no harm can be done, but I sometimes think of what will happen to you, my dear, after my death.’
‘Oh, Papa,’ she said quickly, ‘do not speak of it.’
He pressed her hand and took out his handkerchief to wipe a tear which was not there. But again she had pleased him – and without guile too.
‘Alas,’ he said, ‘we must speak of unhappy things sometimes. I shall not be content – and I think of you, my daughter – until I have proved to the world the immorality of that woman. Perhaps you understand now, my child, why I have acted as I have in the past.’
‘Oh, Papa, dearest Papa!’
It was wonderful. They were in accord. He loved her after all. But she knew in her heart, of course, that he was only acting the part of devoted parent. But it served … for the moment. He cared enough to act for her as he had acted for others in the past.
She was weeping and as he never could resist giving an example of how that affecting habit could be best performed, he wept with her.
It was forgiveness. They were no longer enemies.
Life at Cranbourne Lodge changed. It was not now necessary for her to be continually watched; no longer need one of her women sleep in the next room with the door open; she could receive and write letters that were not submitted to rigid censorship.
She was in favour with her father.
Mercer came to see her, and they talked of Hesse, who had not returned her letters.
‘Mercer, what can I do?’
‘We did tell him that if he did not return the letters you would make a full confession to your father. Perhaps that is what you should do.’
Charlotte turned pale.
‘My dear Charlotte,’ said Mercer, ‘he has been in a similar scrape himself and now that he is trying to cultivate your affection is the time to confess.’
Charlotte thought about it. She was fully aware that something would have to be done about the Hesse affair; and she was beginning to wish she had not written such impassioned letters to F. How foolish she had been in the past. She was already beginning to forget F, for quite clearly he had not been serious. It seems very difficult, she thought, for a princess to find people who really love her.
One day during one of her father’s visits he mentioned the name of Hesse and before she realized it she had started to confess.
‘Papa, I have something to tell you. I need your help.’
He smiled warmly. He liked the new relationship with his daughter. It had all come about because that dreadful woman was no longer in England. He wanted Charlotte to understand this and he was constantly mentioning some vulgarity of Caroline’s; and Charlotte had lost that irritating habit of rushing to her defence.
‘Proceed,’ he said. ‘My help is yours as you know before you begin.’
So it was easy to tell him and she described it alclass="underline" the first meeting with Hesse; her loneliness; his charm; and how Lady de Clifford had scolded her for being as she said too free with him; and how her mother had overheard the scolding and reprimanded Lady de Clifford. If her daughter wished for friendship with a handsome young man she should have it, said Caroline.
‘And Papa, she used to arrange that he should be there when I called; and she helped us to exchange letters.’
The Prince’s expression was grave. ‘My poor, poor child,’ he said, ‘in the hands of such a monster!’
Realizing how much easier it was to confess than she had dared hope, she told him of the occasion when her mother had locked them in the bedroom.
He covered his eyes with his hand.
Then he turned and embraced her. ‘My poor, poor child, what can I say? I did not think even she could be capable of such conduct.’
‘But I do not wish you to be angry with Captain Hesse, Father. He always treated me with the greatest respect, but God knows what would have happened to me if he had not.’
‘My dear child, it is Providence alone that has saved you.’
He then went on to talk about her mother – her eccentricities, her madness, her unsuitability to be the Princess of Wales.
‘Can you wonder, my child, that she revolts me?’
And Charlotte could say with sincerity: ‘No, Papa, I cannot.’