"How could I not? I love you dearly and desperately. As for your flock—well, I know the lot of them. Yes, every batty, balmy, deranged, dotty, and stark-raving bedlamite in the world seems to have found their way here, but I have found that I like them one and all. Obsessive, delusional, fearful, hysterical—I fit in with them because I'm crazy about you. And since every one of them holds a tiny piece of your heart, they hold a part of mine."
Eve closed her eyes momentarily with joy: Adam understood. She nodded. "Everyone here is family," she said. And now they were also Adam's family. She said a heartfelt prayer of thanks to God for granting such happiness to mortals and paranormals alike. When He had given the heart the capacity to love, He had given mankind a blessing beyond measure. "I am more than fortunate."
Her father overheard her remark as he swaggered up to them. "That ye are, me daughter. It's a lucky thing for you that your dear old da is a crafty pirate with a devious, plotting mind. And a yen for grandchildren."
Eve chuckled and kissed him on the cheek. "You're never going to let me hear the end of this matchmaking plan being so utterly successful, are you?"
"It was inspired, and the results look more than promising. I'll soon be sailing the seas with a full crew of grandkids. What a lucky father I be." Then, turning his attention to Adam, he cocked a brow. "Well, what have you for me? Many a pirate would give their eyeteeth—or at least their eye patches—for me daughter."
"Your reward is my compliments. Your plan was brilliant and executed with a competence that I find remarkable. You are cunning, crafty, and devious," Adam replied.
Bluebeard preened. "And don't forget generous." His chest swelled with pride.
Both Adam and Eve laughed and agreed. "More than generous." After all, the Captain had been so pleased that his plan was concluded with such astounding success that his wedding gift had been two full chests filled with gold and jewels.
Eve said, "Now the Towers won't close down, and your generosity means that Adam can keep his family estate back in Ireland." She'd learned just how much that meant to him, and she had agreed to go to Ireland for the summer months. As she started to say more, she was interrupted by a loud knocking on the front door. "I wonder who that is. Everyone we invited is already here."
"Teeter will see to it," Adam said. He nodded to the butler, who was on his way by.
Teeter answered the knocking. Opening the front door, he stared down at the three odd characters standing before him. One lady was talking to the air, calling someone Harvey. Another thin woman was hopping up and down, croaking. A third woman appeared to have a bit more dignity, though she was wearing an enormous monstrosity of a hat. She was the one who spoke.
"Good day to you! Isn't it a fine day? I got to wear my Sunday meeting hat, although it is Saturday. Fortunate, don't you think?"
Teeter ignored her chatter, quite used to the eccentricities of the insane. "Madam, who are you?"
The woman appeared flustered for a moment, then with a tiny smirk said, "I am called Lady Maddy Hatter, and next to me is Mrs. March O'Hare—she's speaking with her bunny. And this is Mrs. Bin. She's a leprechaun, who's quite gone round the bend and doesn't know how to get back. I am, of course, their keeper. We followed the rainbow here."
Teeter remained unruffled. He lived with bedlam daily, and the three glasses of champagne he'd drunk kept him feeling remarkably bubbly. The lady talking to "her bunny" was a handsome woman, but it was more than apparent that she was crazy. She was arguing quite rudely with absolutely no one.
"I see no rabbit," he pointed out, testing her.
"He's invisible," Lady Hatter explained in an aside. "He's a pooka."
"I see," Teeter said, and he did. He saw that they were all crackers. And they were just in time for the wedding cheese. "May I ask why you knocked?"
"We wanted to see the wedding. We'd heard it was Adam and Eve, but I thought they were dead. At least, it implies so in the Bible. We have also come to see about letting some rooms."
Teeter turned, anxious to get back to Mrs. Fawlty, who had been flirting with him outrageously earlier, when suddenly bells began ringing loud and clear. A loud scream sounded. He shook his head at the din, the gasps of shock, and Pavlov scolding his dog.
Mrs. Fawlty was screaming, "No, no! Not the wedding cake!"
"We're under attack from them scruffy English!" Major Gallant shouted. He ran out the door, imaginary sword in hand. Teeter barely managed to dodge him.
Mrs. Monkfort was wringing her hands and wailing, "My floor! There is icing on my spotless floor!"
Sir Loring passed by hurriedly, muttering to himself, "That madwoman is on a rampage again. I've got to hide my dirt. No one can get my dirt."
Teeter looked heavenward, as if for inspiration, then slammed the door in the surprised faces of Lady Maddy Hatter and friends, saying, "I'm sorry, but all our rooms are full. We've all the madness we can handle."
He turned from the front door, knowing Eve would be angry that he'd turned away the needy and neurotic. But still, this was her wedding day, and that of Dr. Adam. It was special, and didn't need to be sullied.
Feeling a slight wash of sentimentality, he glanced over at the newly remarried couple. They were indeed crazy—about each other. Dr. Adam was cradling his most prized possession—Eve—and she was giggling against his chest. As Teeter poured himself a whiskey, he said, "Yes, we're all full up on craziness here. But crazy is rooming with love, and that makes all the difference."
About the Author
MlNDA WEBBER is a native Texan. She has one son and one cat. She teaches history at the college level, has written for Saturday morning cartoons and worked in the Texas oil fields. She has sculptures in several galleries. Minda is an avid reader and likes the absurd. Please visit her on the Web at www.mindawebber.net.