“What are we going to do without him?” she whispered.
Oh, fuck. He did not want to have this talk with her right now.
“We’ll be okay. It’ll take some time, but we’ll be okay.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
She was quiet for a while. He’d hoped she’d fallen asleep. Then she spoke again. “I’m going to miss him so much.” Large tears rolled down her face.
“Me too, babe.” He felt his own tears close to the surface and tried to push them away.
“How long do we have?”
“Babe, we don’t need to talk about this.”
“How long?” Her voice sounded soft but firm. Her quiet tears unnerved him. Maybe being zonked out on pain meds was helping her safely process things.
“I don’t know. Every day is a gift. He’s still strong. He’s got a lot of life in him. I can’t give you a time frame.”
“You went with him to the oncologist.”
Shit. She hadn’t acted like she knew about Kaden’s appointment. “The doctors don’t know.”
She turned her head and looked him in the eye. “I know he made you promise not to tell me. That’s something he’d do. But I need to know, Seth. I need an idea.”
He shrugged. “They don’t know. At least several months if there’s no drastic decline.”
“After Christmas?”
He nodded. “Hopefully. At this rate, most likely well after Christmas.”
She nodded and wiped her face with her good hand. “Okay. That’s good enough for me for now.” She fell silent again for a few minutes. “Thank you for taking pictures. I appreciate that.”
“I didn’t know you were paying attention.”
She smiled. “I see more than you think I do.” Her smile faded. “I keep trying not to think about it. That it’s probably his last Christmas. But it’s hard not to.”
“I know.”
“He wants you to go to the club alone with me before we get crazy with the holiday stuff.”
That was news to Seth. He fought a brief moment of panic. “What?”
“You’re ready.”
“Like hell I am.”
“He didn’t tell me exactly why, but I know.” She took a deep breath, more tears flowing. “He wants it to happen so he can help us work on it more if we need him. Before he starts to get really sick. He said it was because of the parties and lights and stuff, but he’s not fooling me. I know he’s trying to take it easy on me.”
“Does that bother you?”
“No. It doesn’t hurt so much to think about it tonight because I’m in a lot of pain already.”
Ahh. That explained it. “The drugs help, too, I’m sure.”
She weakly smiled. “A little.”
“Listen, I catch you trying to doctor shop to get scripts, I’ll freaking tie you up and not let you come for a month.”
Her eyes widened, then she laughed, long and hard.
Well, he’d finally managed to make her laugh for the day.
She was still crying, but at least she smiled. “Thank you, Seth.”
She finally fell asleep. Once she was softly snoring in his lap, he carried her to his bedroom and gently tucked her into his bed. He cleaned up their dinner dishes and turned out all the lights. Turning on his TV, he set the sleep timer, then curled around her and gently kissed her forehead.
“I promise, I’ll take care of you. We’ll get through it, babe.”
It took him a long time to finally get to sleep, the memory of her tears fresh in his mind.
She was still sound asleep at seven the next morning. He carefully extricated himself from her arms. In sleep she had rolled over and cuddled tightly against him, practically clinging to his side. He started coffee and checked his cell phone, no calls from Kade. He knew Kade’s flight was at eleven and his friend would already be awake.
“She still asleep?” Kaden asked.
“Yep. Dead to the world.”
“Good. The irony is, perhaps it’s for the best she did this.”
“I told you, it was a freaking accident.”
“I know. I believe it was, too. I’m not saying I’m happy she got hurt. In the grand scheme of things, it’ll probably help her.”
Seth didn’t know if he wanted to fess up about their conversation. That could wait until Kade returned. “How do I convince her to just sit and chill out today and let me take care of her?”
“Sit and talk. Play your guitar for her. Tell her what would make you happy for today is to spoil her rotten.”
Well, that was the truth. She already took damn good care of him. It didn’t matter that both Kade and Leah thought they owed Seth for doing this. Seth felt he owed them.
He scrambled himself some eggs and frequently walked down the hall to look in on Leah. Still zonked. He suspected it probably wasn’t just the meds but the accumulated stress and grief taking its toll. It was good she could rest.
Now with Kaden’s trip out of the way, he would spend most of his time at the house. Still some work to clear up, he’d explained, but what he had left, he could mostly do from home.
A little before eleven Seth grabbed his laptop and started back to the bedroom to sit with Leah when the house phone rang.
“Shit.” He raced for it, hoping it wouldn’t wake Leah.
“Kaden?” the woman asked.
Aw, fuck. He knew that voice. Kaden’s younger sister.
“No, Denise, it’s Seth.” He wished he’d let it go to voicemail.
The frost in her voice would have comfortably air-conditioned the entire house, even with every last freaking window open. “What are you doing answering their phone?”
Denise had never liked Seth, even as kids. The feeling was mutual. Kaden hadn’t broken the news to his family yet about him dying, hadn’t told them about Seth living there either. He wanted to wait until after the holidays, if possible.
“Kaden’s out of town. He’s coming back tonight.” The less said, the better.
“I tried his cell and he didn’t answer. Leah’s not answering hers, either.”
“She’s asleep.” He realized as soon as the words left his mouth that it was the wrong thing to say.
“What do you mean she’s asleep? How would you know?”
He might as well have waved a red flag in front of a bull. “She had a small accident yesterday, cut her arm, just a few stitches, no big deal. The pain meds knocked her out.”
“Well, I’ll come over and stay with her until he gets home. You said he’s coming home tonight. You can go do whatever you do.” First the suspicion, now the condescension.
Fan-fucking-tastic. “No, Denise, that’s not necessary. It’s under control.”
“You can’t stay with her.”
“I’m studying to be a nurse, and I’ve had medic training. I’d say I’m a better person to stay with her than you are.”
“If she’s hurt she should have family with her.”
I am family.
Instead, he said, “Kaden asked me to stay with her. You have a problem with that, you can take it up with your brother tomorrow. You will not come in here and start your shit.”
“How dare you!”
If he didn’t get off the fucking phone with her and fast, he would blow his top. Leah didn’t like Denise either. It confused the hell out of him why Denise was suddenly so insistent on taking care of her sister-in-law when they rarely spoke anyway. He glanced at the time and knew it was too late to call Kaden. He’d be on the plane already.
“Good-bye, Denise. When Kaden gets home, I’ll tell him you called.” He hung up before she could argue, then he turned the ringer off.