He didn’t open his eyes, too tired to argue. “Okay.”
The soft whisp of fabric against flesh, then he felt her sit next to him in the water. Her hands felt good, he wouldn’t deny it. One day…
Hopefully far in the future. He still prayed for a miracle and knew part of his reluctance stemmed from that. If he held off, didn’t push forward as hard as Kaden wanted him to, maybe there wouldn’t be an after to mourn through. Maybe he could stave off the inevitable.
Then he wouldn’t feel guilty about sleeping with his best friend’s wife when it wasn’t necessary after all. Kaden still looked good, didn’t look sick.
Maybe it wouldn’t happen.
Seth didn’t mind taking a dip in the River Denial.
His body succumbed to her touch, relaxing as she slowly worked his muscles. It felt better than good. Who the fuck was he kidding? It felt great.
He’d nearly gone to sleep when he was aware of her changing position, straddling his legs, her hands going to his—
Seth’s eyes popped open and he grabbed her hands as they tried to tug at his waistband. Leah had sunk into the water, visible only from the shoulders up.
“What are you doing?” he hoarsely asked. “That’s not what’s sore.”
She smiled. “I bet it’s stiff.”
Yeah, she wasn’t kidding there. Despite his shock, he was stiff, all right. Like fucking concrete. Just as Kade said.
Stalemate. She didn’t try to pull away, simply let him hold her there.
“Babe, I’m not ready to make love to yet. It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just too soon for me.”
“You don’t have to do anything but lie back and enjoy it.”
What the fuck!
“What?”
“Just enjoy it. Let me take care of you. Please?”
“What about Kaden?” he hoarsely whispered.
“He’s okay with this. You know that. He’s okay with whatever you want to do with me.”
Fuck, he knew that. He was stalling for time and running out of excuses.
“I don’t have any protection.” Even he thought that sounded lame.
“The doctor said you don’t have cooties. It’s not an issue for me anyway. Even if it was, I don’t think any woman has ever gotten pregnant giving a hand job.”
Stalemate. Again.
Her eyes focused on his, steady, calm. He wouldn’t deny he wanted it. The proof was standing straight up in his swimsuit, screaming at him that he was a stupid motherfucker for refusing in the first place.
She pulled out the secret weapon. Her eyes brimmed with uncried tears, melting his heart. “Please, Seth? Let me do this for you. I want to. You’re not forcing me. I know Kaden told you about me. This isn’t the same.”
“I feel like it is.”
“He asked me when he told me about… He asked me that night he first talked to you. He did ask me if I wanted him to go through with it or if I wanted him to find someone else.” Her voice choked, breaking his heart. “You were the first one I thought of, Seth. If he’s not here, I can’t imagine being with anyone but you. Not just to be my master. I don’t want to be with anyone but you. Please?”
Seth pulled her into his arms, holding her for a long moment. His desire to adhere to Kaden’s wishes and to keep Leah safe and sane battled with his heart and body and conscience.
It would have to happen sometime.
“I’m not ready to… I’m not ready to take that next step yet. And it doesn’t seem fair to you to be one-sided about this. I mean, this isn’t the same as doing something to you during a session.”
She turned in his lap so she could face him. Whether it was intentional or not, she ground against his stiff cock. “This isn’t one-sided. You’re doing something for me that no one else can do. I understand if you need more time for some things. Let me at least take care of you. Please?”
“I could play the Dom card and order you back to your bedroom right now.”
She nodded. “And I would go.”
“You wouldn’t be happy if I did that.”
She shook her head.
He took a deep breath. “We’re not, like, going to be talking about this at breakfast tomorrow or anything, are we?”
She finally smiled. “No.”
“Because that would push me over the fucking edge, man.”
Leah caressed his cheek. “No. We don’t have to talk about things.”
“It’s bad enough… I feel bad enough as it is. My weird-o-meter would shoot off the scale if I had to talk to Kaden about this kind of stuff.”
She nodded. “I’ll tell him that. But it’ll make him happy that you’re finally letting me take care of you like this.”
“I so cannot get my head around that.”
“That’s okay. He understands.”
After another long moment, he brought her hands up to his lips and kissed them. “All right. I’m not comfortable with… Let’s take this one step at a time. Okay? If I let you…” He silently swore. “Just hand jobs. For now. Okay? Don’t try to push me to take the next step yet. I mean hey, you got to sleep in bed with me, right? I’ll get there, but I need time to get used to this and try to get over feeling fucking guilty about it. Promise?”
She nodded.
He released her hands after a final, gentle squeeze. “Magic fingers, do your stuff.”
He’d kill for the bright smile she gave him. His heart melted. This was so fucked up on so many levels, but it was worth it to see her smile.
Seth recalled he was approximately the same size as Kade. So unless his friend had suddenly mutated, that was, at least, one less metaphorical shoe for him to fill. He didn’t want to disappoint Leah.
She turned, straddling his legs again. He lifted his hips so she could pull his trunks down and off him. He closed his eyes and heard the wet splat as she dropped his trunks out of the hot tub and onto the lanai. He laid his head back against the edge of the hot tub and tried not to moan too loudly as her fingers gently wrapped around his shaft.
It was amazing. With one hand cupping and milking his sac, her other slowly massaging his cock, he knew it wouldn’t take her long to get him off.
Hell, her hand job was better than any fucking blow job he’d ever gotten in his life! She took her time, drawing it out, caressing him in a way…
In a way no one had ever touched him before.
The right fucking woman. How had he never had the right woman before?
Before Leah.
It built deep in his balls. When he tensed, Leah seemed to anticipate his release. She tightened her grip and squeezed what felt like every last drop out of him, leaving him spent and trembling in the water.
Damn.
It never felt that good when he did it himself.
Reading his body, Leah stilled her hands without releasing him. He eventually opened his eyes.
Her smile lit every inch of her face, for once erasing a few of the grief lines slowly attempting to take over. “Thank you,” she said.
He laughed. “No, thank you.”
She leaned forward. He thought she might kiss him, but she simply touched her forehead to his. “You have a very nice cock, Sir.”
“Don’t harsh the mellow, girl.”
She giggled and gently squeezed him. He didn’t think he’d be up for more and was extremely surprised to feel himself stiffen in her hands.
“Ooh!” she cooed. “Seconds.”
He laughed and closed his eyes again. He lasted longer this time, due in no small part to her talented skills in bringing him close and letting him cool off. When he exploded the second time he grabbed her and pulled her into his lap, holding her tightly, his face buried in her hair.
He didn’t think it was his imagination that she seemed more relaxed now.
Seth released her with a deep sigh and a kiss to her temple. “Thank you, darlin’. That was wonderful.”