“Dude. You did.” Kaden smiled. “But that’s okay. You can make it up to her later, I’m sure.”
Later that night after dinner, Seth willingly gave in to Leah’s request to not just join them but to spend the night. He spent a long time loving her while Kaden held her in his arms. He gently ran his lips over the welt on her leg, hating himself.
Leah sensed his inner turmoil. She kept her fingers tangled in his hair, or her fingers laced through his, and constantly murmured to him.
When they all fell asleep later, she had her back tightly nestled against Kaden, with his arm around her waist. But she had Seth tucked against her chest, cradled in her arms as he cried himself to sleep while Leah whispered to him.
The next morning, Seth still felt like shit. The wound would heal cleanly, but the ugly purple bruise surrounding it would take days to fade.
Leah started to get up to make coffee, but he grabbed her hand. “No, babe, I’ll go do it. You stay in bed.”
She tried to protest. Then, one of the few times Kaden ever overruled Seth.
“Love, go make our coffee. We’ll be out for it shortly.”
Leah quickly kissed them both and jumped out of bed. She left the bedroom.
Once Kaden was sure she was out of earshot, he turned on Seth. “Stop it. You can’t do that.”
“I fucking hurt her, man! I feel horrible!”
“She’s already over it. She was over it minutes after it happened. She humored you last night because she felt bad that you were so upset, but fucking stop it. Enough’s enough.”
Seth felt shocked. “You cold-hearted bastard! That’s your goddamned wife! How can you sit there and tell me enough’s enough?”
He leaned in. “Because that’s the way she wants it. Remember how she freaked out over the laundry when you first moved in? I’m not kidding when I say she needs you to man up now.” He dropped his voice even lower. “I’ve been busting your balls about her leading you around by the short hairs, but I’m also telling you it’s got to stop. Now.”
A haze of rage clouded Seth’s mind. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Kaden frowned. “You have got to get a handle on this. It’s okay while I’m still around, because she’s got me. But quit this fucking bullshit once and for all before I’m gone! She needs to know you’re strong and steady and will take care of her. I’m not talking about grieving. She expects that from you. I’m talking you cannot let her get her way all the time. She needs to feel you’re her Master. Right now, you’re acting like a fucking pussy!”
Seth opened his mouth to argue, then snapped it closed. He wanted to deck Kaden. Never in his life had he ever felt that before.
Kaden met his angry gaze. “You know I’m right. You’ve seen her long enough now to understand what I mean.”
“You let her get her way.”
“When I decide to. In things that don’t fucking matter. This matters. This is an issue of strength. This is a time when you have to put on your goddamn big-boy britches and just suck it the fuck up. It’s done. It’s over with. She knows it was an accident. Believe me, she understands you’re upset about it. It’s over, it’s done, move on.”
He got out of bed, leaving Seth sitting there stewing. Kaden walked into the bathroom. Seth finally got his wits about him and went to his own room. He started for his bathroom, then turned and locked his bedroom door.
Fuck it.
He used the bathroom before pulling on some running clothes. He listened at his bedroom door for a moment, heard Leah and Kaden talking in the kitchen, and quietly walked down the hall and let himself out the front door.
The morning felt cool, but even though it was December the highs were predicted to be in the upper seventies. Seth didn’t bother stretching. He hurried down the driveway at a quick, loping pace, wanting to put distance between himself and the house and the sound of Kaden’s accusation ringing in his ears.
How could he not feel badly about what he did? Fuck! He’d hate himself every time he saw the mark. Maybe it wouldn’t leave one. Still, he’d feel horrible about it.
The sound of her pained yelp as the whip cut her.
Christ, he’d never get that out of his brain.
He picked up the pace, running faster, harder, until he was pushing himself at a blistering sprint. When he finally ran out of wind he was on the other side of the development.
At least this whole thing had forced him to get back in shape. He’d almost returned to his Army weight, and most of the flab around his belly had melted away. He looked decent, had regained most of his stamina. In the small park he stopped, did fifty push-ups, fifty sit-ups, and started running again.
He didn’t want to return home.
Home. Funny, it was home. Kaden said he needed to see it as his home. Despite hating the circumstances, Seth begrudgingly admitted yeah, it was home.
His home.
His woman.
Maybe he was still missing a key point in understanding this crazy mess. When he thought of Kaden being angry, Seth still wanted to punch his lights out.
He’d hurt Leah. How could Kaden be okay with that?
He purposely avoided the house. He didn’t know what time it was. He guessed he’d been gone for over an hour by the way the sun had moved.
He stopped at the park again, took a sip of water from the drinking fountain, then stood in the shade to stretch. He lay back in the grass and clasped his hands behind his head. Above him, soft clouds scudded across a bright, blue December sky.
His first year in the Army, he’d been stuck in Germany. What a fucking miserable place that had been for a native Florida boy. After he was sent to Iraq he missed the cold Berlin nights while he was sweating his ass off inside a Humvee under thirty pounds of body armor and another thirty of gear while trying not to get shot at.
He closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind. Every time he did, the sound of Leah’s pained yelp pierced through his soul.
Well, imagine that. Something to finally take the mental heartbeat—
kaden’sdying
—away. I’ll be damned.
What a fucking suck way to do it.
After a while he stretched, did more sit-ups and push-ups, and slowly lapped the development again. Back to the park.
School was still in session, so he had the place to himself.
He lay back in the grass and stared at the sky. This was too much. Too. Fucking. Much. He’d finally fried his brain.
He didn’t pay any attention to the sound of the car pulling into the park. He heard a door open and close and someone walking on the sidewalk toward him.
When the shadow fell across him, he realized it was Leah.
“Is this a private pity party, or can anyone join?”
He rolled into a sitting position. “How can you fucking stand to look at me?”
She sat close, cross-legged, in front of him on the grass. She’d put on a T-shirt and shorts that covered the bruise.
“It was an accident. Accidents are going to happen. I meant it when I said Kaden nailed me a lot worse than that over the years. You will too. It’s going to happen. It’s just an occupational hazard.”
“That’s not funny.”
“If this isn’t bothering me, why is it bothering you? What’s really going on?”
He clenched his jaw. “I can’t understand why Kaden was pissed at me this morning for being upset that I hurt you.” Might as well get it all out there. They’d told him they wanted honesty. “I fucking hate myself, and he’s calling me a pussy for feeling bad that I hurt you.”