Seth swallowed hard but nodded.
The men’s birthdays were just a couple of weeks apart, Kaden’s first. Seth told Leah he would sleep by himself that night after they had a small cake following a meal of Kaden’s favorites, allowing Kaden alone time with her. The next morning she slipped into Seth’s room and brought his coffee, then snuggled into bed next to him.
“Good morning,” he said.
She kissed him. “Good morning.”
“How’d you sleep?”
“Not nearly as good as I do when you’re both there.” She rolled over and rested her chin on his chest. “I want a night alone with you for your birthday.”
“That’s not necessary.” When her face clouded, he sighed. “All right. Quit pouting. Your face will fucking freeze like that.”
She laughed. “Thank you.”
“Like I can say no to you.”
For Seth’s birthday she cooked all his favorites and fixed apple pie for dessert. Seth tried not to feel guilty when later, as they were sitting on the couch watching TV, Kaden leaned over and kissed Leah good night.
“See you two in the morning,” he said with a smile, winking at Seth.
Leah snuggled tightly against Seth’s side. “Well?”
“Well what?”
Her hand settled in his lap. “What now?”
He kissed her, slowly brushing his lips across hers. “We’ve done things your way. Tonight, we do them mine.”
Seth wouldn’t let her rush him. He took his time teasing her, tasting her, gently flicking his tongue against hers.
She tried to squirm, and he held her tightly until she relaxed against him. Eventually he pulled her across his lap, curled in his arms, still kissing her.
“I love you, babe,” he whispered against her throat as he slowly worked his lips south. “I love you so much.”
Her fingers tangled in his hair. “I love you, too.”
He made her look at him. “I’ll let you keep your collar on tonight, but it’s just you and me and no protocols or titles or anything. Okay?”
“Okay,” she softly agreed.
He stood, carrying her to his bedroom. He used his foot to push the door closed behind them and then gently laid her on his bed. If he was supposed to enjoy this night guilt-free, he would take full advantage of it in a way he usually didn’t push for.
Seth took his time, carefully exploring her body with his lips and hands, forcing reality out of his brain. He could pretend she was his without a looming cloud of grief to taint his emotions.
He made love to her, taking his time, the way he always wished he could. Gently, tenderly, easing her through two climaxes before he finally entered her and slowly stroked.
“Look at me, babe,” he whispered.
She opened her eyes.
“I love you.”
She smiled. “I love you, too.”
He felt his release build. “There will be a lot of nights I need this and not the other stuff,” he said.
She nodded. “I know.”
“I’m going to have to be enough for you.”
“You are.”
“I promise I’ll take care of you and love you, babe. Forever.” He grabbed her hips, thrusting.
“I know.” He leaned forward and her hands slid down his hips, around his ass, her fingers brushing against his balls.
“I’ll do nearly anything you need done, but I’ve got to be enough for you.”
Her nails gently raked against his sac, sending a pleasant shiver through him. “You are. Now shut up and fuck me good, baby,” she whispered in his ear.
That finished him. He cried out when he came. Leah wrapped her arms and legs around him, tightly holding him. When he caught his breath he rolled them over, still inside her, Leah on top.
He thought she’d fallen asleep when she spoke. “What do I have to do to convince you?”
“What?”
She lifted her head. “You and him and no one else. Ever. You guys are like twins.”
Seth snorted. “Not even fucking close.”
She nodded. “Yes, you are. Maybe you don’t see it, but I do.” She laid her palm along his cheek. “I want you to believe me.”
It was still hard for him to believe she wanted him in the first place, not when she had Kaden. If Kaden wasn’t enough for her, how the hell was he supposed to do it all?
He kissed her palm and rolled to his side with her still nestled in his arms. “Let’s go to sleep, babe.”
It felt so good, so right holding her. Good enough to keep the mental heartbeat away that night.
They still went to the club on occasion. Seth preferred not going alone with Leah, even though he would if Kaden asked it of him. Seth realized he didn’t enjoy the public sessions as much as he did their private ones.
“Why is that?” Kaden asked one morning when they were discussing it out of Leah’s earshot in the den.
Seth shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I feel self-conscious for one thing. And I don’t like her being naked.” With things open between the three of them, it was fun incorporating sex into their private play.
Hottest sex of his life.
Kaden leaned back in his chair. “You need to find what works for you. She’ll understand. What she gets from a scene is different than what you get from a scene. You can tailor things to work for you and for her. You can save the more intense stuff for at home.”
“She won’t mind?”
“No,” Kaden said. “I mean…” He laughed. “Between you and me, I don’t like her being naked either. She saw it once with someone else, asked if we could do it.” He took his glasses off and looked at Seth. “That one took me a while to get used to.”
“I bet.”
“I mean, I don’t mind her being naked with you, obviously. That’s different.”
Later that afternoon, Seth ran out to the grocery store and left Leah at home with Kaden. Seth tried to limit Kaden’s exposure to crowds as much as possible. He didn’t want him getting a cold or something that, with his already compromised immune system, could put him at risk for worse problems than he already had.
No sense in speeding up the inevitable if they could avoid it.
When he returned over an hour later, they were on the couch, Leah naked and straddling Kaden’s lap. While Seth didn’t look over the back of the couch, he guessed what was going on.
“Whoa, sorry, guys. Didn’t mean to interrupt,” Seth joked on his way to the kitchen.
Kaden laughed. “You’re not. Why don’t you hurry up and get that stuff put away and come join us?”
“Don’t have to ask me twice.”
The irony struck him that now, the better part of a year since this crazy mess started, he didn’t have to be asked twice.
He put the cold stuff away and walked out to the living room. Seth suspected it was a bad day for his friend, easier on Kaden to sit up, less uncomfortable than lying down. Not that Seth would say anything about it and spoil the mood.
Leah rested her head on Kade’s shoulder, her eyes closed, her hips moving in a slow, seductive grind against his lap.
Seth detoured to the bedroom and grabbed the bottle of lube. He’d finally popped his cherry, so to speak, in that department. Now that he knew it wouldn’t hurt her, he had no qualms about taking her from behind.
And she sure loved it.
He stepped behind her and stripped, dropping his clothes to the floor. He’d started going commando because it was easier logistically considering how often Leah jumped him or vice versa.
Seth stroked her back, drawing a soft, pleasant moan from her. He kissed the nape of her neck. “I think I know what you want, don’t I, baby?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
She stopped moving as he lubed her and himself, then carefully nudged his cock against her puckered ring. Kade reached around her and gently spread her cheeks.