She nodded. “I will.”
He looked at Seth. “I love you, man.”
“I love you, too…”
“But I’m still not doing you,” Kaden completed.
That finished Seth. He sobbed. He leaned forward and kissed his friend. “I wish I was you right now.”
“I know. It’s okay.”
Kaden motioned Leah to lie with him. He kissed her and let out a sigh. “I love you, babe. I wish I could keep saying it to you. It doesn’t seem like enough.”
“I know you love me. I love you. I love you so much.”
He patted the bed beside him. “I won’t think you’re trying to do me if you lie here with me, buddy.”
Seth harshly laughed. He carefully curled up next to Kaden, trying to ignore how fragile and bony his friend’s body felt against his.
Kaden closed his eyes and pulled Seth and Leah’s arms around him so he was holding their hands. “I love you, buddy. And I love you, babe. I think I’m going to go to sleep now. I’m really, really tired.” Seth heard how weak Kaden sounded, knew it was time.
Leah continued whispering to him, over and over, that she loved him. Seth saw his weak smile. “It’s okay, babe. I love you, too. Both of you. Never forget how much I love you.” Kaden whispered.
She kissed Kaden again.
Seth counted the seconds between each breath. They grew longer, weaker.
Eventually, Kaden drew in a breath, let it out.
Seth held his breath, waiting.
He felt the tension relax in Kaden’s body.
Seth closed his eyes and pressed his lips to Kaden’s forehead. “Go in peace, man,” he whispered.
The nurse appeared in the doorway a moment later and caught Seth’s eye. He nodded.
She silently walked in around the bed, to Seth’s side.
Leah’s eyes were closed, her lips silently moving.
The nurse leaned in and touched her fingers to Kaden’s neck for a long moment since Leah still gripped his wrists. She took out her stethoscope and listened.
She nodded, noted the time on her notepad, then left without comment to make her call.
Seth wasn’t sure how long he should let Leah stay there. He had to call Ed, get that ball rolling, as Kaden had said. The undertakers would come to take Kaden’s body…
He clamped his jaw shut and forced the sob back.
To take Kaden away.
Kaden’s orders, what he did reveal to Seth ahead of time, was that no one else, besides them and the nurse and undertakers and Ed and possibly Tony were to see him after he died. He’d already told his brother he didn’t want to be seen like that, said his good-byes so there weren’t any hard feelings later.
He didn’t give a shit what Denise felt or thought.
After thirty minutes, Seth carefully got out of bed and walked to the doorway. The nurse stood just outside, watching. He leaned in close.
“How long should I let her stay with him?”
She smiled kindly. “As long as you think she needs.”
He motioned for her pad and wrote Ed’s name and number. “Can you please call him for me? Tell him.”
She nodded and went to do it.
Seth walked back to the bed and curled around Leah. Kaden looked peaceful, out of pain.
Leah’s body felt rigid. She still silently moved her lips, something he’d never seen her do before.
Ed arrived twenty minutes later and stood in the doorway, waiting until Seth turned to him.
Seth got out of bed again and went to talk to him.
“How long ago?” Ed asked.
Seth looked at the nurse. “Nearly an hour,” she answered.
“His orders were to not let her stay longer than ninety minutes. If the funeral home arrives sooner, try to get her out sooner. Try not to let her see them.”
Seth nodded and returned to Leah, his grief sliding to the back of his mind.
Kaden’s orders.
He would follow them to the letter.
Seth wrapped his arms around her from behind, and she still felt like a board against him. She held Kaden’s hands, stared at him, wouldn’t let go, her fingers stroking his.
Still silently talking to him.
“Babe, I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
Leah moaned. She closed her eyes and a deep, gut-wrenching moan escaped her. He worried she might start screaming, but that was the only sound she made, like a howling wind over a rolling hillside. Over and over she moaned while Seth gently rocked her in his arms. Her body eventually relaxed a little against him while the moaning continued.
His heart broke for her. Was this a glimpse of the woman Kaden saw that afternoon when she finally confessed her past to him? The raw anguish?
It wasn’t fair. She had to go through so much shit in her life, and now this on top of everything. Losing the man who saved her life.
How could he ever hope to measure up to Kaden in her heart?
Eventually her moans dissolved into silent, hitching gasps. She kissed Kaden’s hands and face.
Seth was aware of Ed and the nurse quickly moving away from the doorway. Seth sensed he needed to get Leah out of there, and soon.
“Babe, it’s time.”
“Noooooooooo!”
He closed his eyes and strengthened his grip around her. “Love, Master has given us orders to follow. Remember your promise.”
She sobbed and went limp in Seth’s arms. She kissed Kaden’s lips one last time, stroked his hair. “I love you,” she whispered.
Then she let Seth carry her to the den.
Ed followed them and stood in the doorway. Seth was aware of the nurse letting someone into the house, followed by two low, unfamiliar male voices. A metallic rattle, like a stretcher being rolled through the front door and across the tile floor.
Leah trembled in his arms, curled nearly in a fetal position, but her tears had stopped.
That frightened him.
Seth pressed his lips to her ear. “Love, do you need to feel the bite?”
She nodded but didn’t speak.
He shifted position on the sofa, his back to the doorway. He slipped one hand up the outside of her leg, under her shorts.
“Count,” he whispered. He pinched her, as hard as he could, on the inside of her thigh. Leaving a bruise was the least of his concerns, but he knew he couldn’t take her to the playroom right then.
After a long moment, she whispered, “One.”
“Very good, love. Again.” He pinched her again.
“Two.”
He did it a total of ten times until, finally, tears slid down her face. She buried her face against his shoulder and sobbed.
“Do you want to see him one last time?” Seth asked.
“What did Master want?” she whispered.
Seth looked at Ed.
Ed shook his head.
“Okay. We’ll sit here for a while longer, love,” Seth said. “Let’s just sit here and wait for a while.”
Leah clung to Seth. “Thank you, Master,” she whispered.
Seth held her tightly against him, his face buried in her hair, and cried his own silent tears.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Ed’s orders were to stay all night with them and, if necessary, help Seth take Leah to the hospital to have her forcibly sedated. It would be Seth’s call if they had to go that far. If so, Seth was to use his power of attorney to do it. Kaden had already talked with their family doctor to assist Seth if it was the course of action needed.
Seth didn’t think it was necessary—yet—but he was glad Kaden had thought that far ahead.
Ed waited until Leah cried herself to sleep in Seth’s arms to hand him an index card with Kaden’s writing on it.
1 - Day Of
Keep her crying. Your only job for the next twenty-four hours is to feed her, keep fluids in her, hold her, and keep her crying if she’s awake and starts to dull down. To take care of her. Do not leave her alone, do not let her out of your sight, not even for her to go to the bathroom. When you have to go, make sure Ed or Tony stands watch over her. Ed will take care of getting the arrangements in order, make the phone calls, and guide you through the process. Tony will come by to stand watch while you sleep in case she gets up without waking you. You’ve got to be fucking exhausted by now. I’m so sorry, brother. Thank you for staying with me until the end.