He took my hand and kissed it; then he looked eagerly into my face and I could have sworn I saw love there. Images came into my mind of him with this woman ... this widow who would know of matters which I would not understand. How to please him, how to attract him. I kept thinking of the two children ... a family. He wanted to know how I fared. He looked at me anxiously.
"You do not look well, Lady Anne." he said.
"My sister has been somewhat tired of late," said Isabel.
"She eats too little and does not take enough interest in what is going on. She broods. I scold her but she takes no notice of me."
"That is a great mistake," said Richard.
"That is what I tell her. What is past is gone."
"One must look at the future," added Richard, smiling at me. We talked lightly. Richard said he would have come before but the king had to make sure that the country was quiet and only two days after his triumphant entry into London, they had had to be in Kent subduing threats of risings.
"Soon he will have everything under control," he said.
"The king grows in stature every day."
"So you think, my lord duke, that all will soon be well?" asked Isabel.
"I am sure of it," he replied.
"The people are going to realise how fortunate they are in such a king. Edward is going to be the greatest king England has ever had."
"Does that mean you will be staying in London?" I asked.
"I cannot believe that will be so. Suffice it that we are here now."
I think Isabel guessed that he had come to see me and she left us together.
As soon as we were alone, Richard turned to me.
"Anne," he said.
"I have wanted to speak to you for so long. I know you are very young still, but you have had so many experiences. I was heartbroken when I heard of your betrothal to Edward. Thank God that marriage was averted. I do not know what I should have done if it had not been."
"Why?" I said, a little harshly.
"Why? But we have always known ... have we not? Has there not always been this special love between us?"
"Love?" I said, trying to remain cool.
"Anne, I have always loved you. I thought you cared for me."
I was silent and he said rather pathetically: "Is it because I am small? I am not as straight-backed as I should be. I am lacking ..."
"I would not have you other than you are," I said.
"It is ..."
I could not go on but he insisted: "Please, Anne, tell me what is wrong."
"I... I have heard ... perhaps it is only gossip. Oh, it must be. I don't think I could bear it if it were not..."
"Of what do you speak?"
I said: "Of your mistress ... of your ... family."
He looked at me in amazement. Tell me what you have heard," he said.
My spirits were lifted. I was wrong, of course. It was just stupid cruel gossip. I had been foolish to listen to Ankarette.
"I have heard that you have a mistress and there are two children," I blurted out.
"Do you think that because of that I cannot love you."
"I believe you cannot love two people at the same time."
"Listen to me, Anne. It is true. There are these two children. I was going to tell you of them. They live with their mother whom I have seen from time to time. There will be an end of that now. It was just... a friendship."
"With two children?"
They are pleasant children. You would like them."
"How can you tell me this?"
"Because it is true and I would have no secrets from you."
"And you still see this woman?"
"I shall not do so when you promise to marry me."
"What about her?"
"She has always understood. I shall see that she is well provided for. She will probably marry."
"And your children?"
They shall be cared for. I hope one day "Yes? What do you hope?"
That you will receive them. Katherine, the little girl, is an enchanting creature. I believe John will be, too, but he is young yet."
I said: This has been a shock to me."
"I understand and I am sorry."
"I feel bewildered. I had never thought..." My dear Anne, you have been sheltered from the world. There is nothing extraordinary about this ... except that I have had only one mistress. Most men have had scores. The king ..."
"I could not have been in love with you if you had been like the king in that respect."
"I am not like him. All I wanted was to live ... naturally. I am a man. I have waited so long for you. That is all. I love you as my wife and you only. Anne, I want you to promise that you will marry me."
"I have looked forward to this for so long and now it has come "I understand that you are shocked. I should have explained to you myself. How did you hear?"
I did not want to betray Ankarette, so I said: "It was the women talking."
"Gossip." he said.
"But true."
"Please understand. You will understand. It is not unusual for a man to take a mistress when he has so long to wait for his true love." I put my hand in his.
"Richard," I said. I know one thing and that is that if you go away from me now and we have not plighted our troth, I shall be desperately unhappy."
"If only you will understand."
"I will try to understand. Then I shall be happy. It is hard at first." He put his arms about me and kissed me tenderly.
"Anne, you are so young. You will grow up ... with me beside you. It is what I have always wanted. Even in those days at Middleham I loved you ... I looked for you I wanted your admiration. I always wanted to do the things which were hard for me, to make you proud of me."
"I am proud of you and I do love you. The past does not count really. We can be together. That is all that matters."
"I shall speak with my brother. I know he will want my happiness and he will give his consent to our marriage now that he knows you want it, too. We have come through our troubles, Anne. We are going to be happy from now on."
"Yes." I said slowly.
"You still look sad. Why? You are not still thinking of...?"
"No. I was thinking of Queen Margaret."
Richard looked puzzled.
"Our enemy! Why should you think of her and at this moment?"
"Because I am happy and she is so sad. I am free and she is a prisoner. I was with her so much, I grew to know her ... admire her in a way. I know she was rash and impulsive and arrogant... but she is courageous and I shall never forget her misery when she heard of the death of her son."
The man who would be king!"
"He had a right, Richard. He was the king's son."
"There are some who doubt Henry was able to beget a son."
"There will always be rumours."
"You must not think of her. She is being taken care of."
"Is she? In some dark dungeon in the Tower?"
"I doubt my brother would be overharsh with her."
"I wish I could see her once more."
"Do you really mean that?"
"I should like to let her know that I cared for her. I think she must be feeling very much alone. She liked me ... in a way. I think I could bring her a little comfort."
"Do you want that very much?"
"Yes, I do."
"Perhaps it could be arranged. I could ask the king. I think he might grant such a request."
"It would ease my mind a little. I am sure she will be stoical. I think she lost heart for battle when her son died."
"I will see what can be done. And Anne ... will you promise me that you will forget everything that puts doubts into your mind now that you and I have found each other at last, and all obstacles are being swept away, leaving it clear for us to be together for the rest of our lives?"
"I will," I said.
I felt elated. The past did not matter. He loved me more deeply than he had ever loved another woman.