“Listen! It’s all gone! But the moments I’ve spent with you, whether you knew I was there or not— they’restill with me, smoldering like coals. I can touch them and feel the heat.”
“You’ve been reading too many of Jean’s romances. What basis for comparison have you ever had, Locke? You and I have been together all these years … why wouldn’t you evolve some sort of fixation? It’s only … perfectly natural … expected familiarity—”
“Who are you trying to convince?” On the attack now, he played her game, took a step forward. “That doesn’t sound like it’s meant for my benefit. You’re trying to talk yourselfout of confiding in me! Why—”
His voice had grown louder with every word, and she startled him by slapping a hand over his mouth.
“You are turning something quite personal into a speech for the whole camp,” she said in her flawless Vadran.
“Sorry,” he whispered in the same language. “Look, this isn’t some damn fixation, Sabetha. If I could just—somehow let you see yourself through myeyes. I guarantee your feet would never touch the ground again.”
“There’s magic that might have some useful applications,” she said, wistfully, “if you were to pull that off. And if I were to … choose to be charmed just now.”
“Well, if not now, then—”
“I told you my feelings for you are complicated. Everything concerning you is complicated, and by that I don’t mean that I’m confused or muddle-headed or, or … frightened. I mean that there are actual, genuine circumstances aboutus and aroundus that make this difficult. There are obstacles, damn it.”
“Then tell me about them. Tell me anything I can do—”
“Are we speaking Vadran now?” said Calo, from his previously silent perch in Sabetha’s vacated place atop the wagon.
“Oh, Sanza, damn your eyes,” hissed Sabetha. “I just about jumped out of my bloody skin.”
“Now that’s praise,” said Galdo, who rolled out from beneath the wagon. “You’re not easy to take unawares. You must have really had your head—”
“—shoved up your ass,” said Calo.
“Are you two back in your usual rhythm, then?” said Locke crossly.
“Nah,” said Galdo. “Just curious, is all.”
“How sharp is your Vadran?” said Locke.
“Mine Vadran is great sharp,” said Calo in that tongue, exaggeratedly mangling each word. “Perfect like without flaws, am the clever Sanza I being.”
“I think the two of us are bit rusty, though,” said Galdo, “so if you could just repeat all the parts we missed—”
“Get used to gaps in your comprehension,” said Sabetha. “The rest of us certainly have.”
“Village not worth your attention?” said Locke with a sigh.
“Just the opposite,” said Galdo. “We thought we’d fetch a few pieces of silver. Some of these smelly hillside mudfuckers are playing cards at what passes for their tavern.”
“Shouldn’t take much of the old Camorr flash to dazzle ’em,” said Calo, making a small rock appear and disappear from the palm of his hand. “Could roll off in the morning owning half this bloody place.”
“I don’t think that’s wise,” said Sabetha.
“What are they gonna do,” said Galdo, “declare war? Look, if we come back in a few months and find out that a hundred swamp country yokels have knocked over the Five Towers, we’ll write a sincere apology.”
“And we only need a few coins anyway,” said Calo, throwing back the tarp over their supplies. “To buy in. After that, we’ll be taking donations, not giving ’em.”
“Hold on,” said Locke. “Since when are you two criminals?”
“Since …” Calo squinted and pretended to calculate. “Sometime between first leaving Mother and hitting the ground between her legs, I imagine.”
“Head first,” added Galdo.
“I know the Sanzasare as crooked as a snake in a clockwork snake-bending machine,” said Locke, “but the Asinobrothers are actors, not cardsharps.”
“You know how actors make a living between engagements?” said Calo. “Believe me, some of them are flash-fucking cardsharps. I learned some of my best stuff from—”
“What I mean,” said Locke, “is that we should all just be actors, and onlyactors. I’ve been thinking about this. No games of opportunity on the way. No more picked pockets. We should draw a line between the people we are in Camorr and the people we are in Espara. When we go home, anyone thinking to follow us back to our real lives should find nothing. No hints, no trail.”
“Seems … sensible,” said Galdo.
“And it starts here,” said Locke. “It means we don’t do anything to make ourselves memorable. You really think your yokel friends will simply let you clean them out and send us on our merry way tomorrow morning? Someone’s going to get cut, Sanzas. Everyone in this village will be after your skins, and our guards won’t save you. They have to work this route week in and week out. They need these people.”
“He’s right,” said Calo. “I knew it was a dumb fuckin’ plan, you bald degenerate.”
“It was youridea, you greedy turd-polisher!”
“Well, at any rate,” said Calo to Locke. “We ain’t following through on it.”
“Then why not start boiling dinner? Or better yet, if you really want to drop a coin in the village, see if you can hunt down some meat that doesn’t come in the form of a brick.”
The Sanzas received this suggestion with enthusiasm, and vanished once again down the winding track to what passed for Tresanconne’s high street. Locke and Sabetha faced one another in their absence, and Locke detected a sudden coolness in her demeanor.
“That right there,” she said, “would be one of the obstacles I mentioned.”
“What?”
“You really didn’t notice?”
“Notice what? What am I meant to realize?”
“Think about it,” she said. She crossed her arms again, this time with her shoulders hunched forward. A protective, unwelcoming gesture. “I’m serious. I’ll give you a moment. Think about it.”
“Think about what?”
“Years ago,” said Sabetha, “I was the oldest child in a small gang. I was sent away by my master to train in dancing and manners. When I returned, I found that a younger child had taken my place.”
“But—I hardly—”
“Calo and Galdo, who once treated me as a goddess on earth, had transferred their allegiance to the small newcomer. In time, he got himself a third ally, another boy.”
“That is purest— Why, Jean is devoted to you, as a friend.”
“But not as a particularfriend,” she said. “Not as he is to you.”
“Is that your obstacle?” Locke felt as though a heavy object had just spun out of the darkness and cracked him on the head. “My friendship with Jean? Does it make you jealous?”
“You listen about as well as you observe,” said Sabetha. “Haven’t you ever noticed that suggestions from me are treated as suggestions, while suggestions from you are taken as a sacred warrant? Even if those suggestions are identical?”
“I think you’re being very unfair,” said Locke weakly.
“You saw it just now! I couldn’t dissuade the Sanzas from drinking arsenic on the strength of mere common sense, but they trip over themselves to take your directions. This is yourgang, Locke—it has been since you arrived, and with Chains’ blessing. You’ve been shaped and groomed as garristafor when he’s gone. And as … well, as a priest. His replacement.”
“But I … I had no notion, or intention—”
“Of course not. You haven’t really questioned anythingsince your arrival. You’ve assumed a position of primacy, which is easy to take for granted … until you’re quietly shuffled out of it. After that, I find the matter never quite leaves one’s thoughts.”