Some of the boys, those with weak minds, did not understand everything the little demon said, but their ability to follow came to their aid. Thirty-one little boys fell to their knees in ragtag fashion, laughing and giggling, to kowtow to the little demon, who jumped onto the artificial hill and sat in the lotus position to receive his sons’ kneeling salute.
Once the ritual was ended, he selected four of the glibbest, most agile youngsters as team leaders and divided the thirty-one boys into four teams. With that done, he said:
‘Children, from this moment on, you are warriors. Warriors are bold youngsters who dare to fight and dare to conquer. I will train you to struggle against all people who want to eat us.’
Team One’s leader asked out of curiosity:
‘Daddy, who wants to eat us?’
‘Bastard!’ The little demon shook his bells. ‘Don’t ever interrupt me when I’m speaking.’
Team One’s leader said:
‘I made a mistake, Daddy. I won’t interrupt again.’
The little demon said:
‘Comrades, children, now I’ll tell you who it is who wants to eat us! They have red eyes, green fingernails, and gold-capped teeth!’
‘Are they wolves? Or tigers?’ asked a chubby, dimpled boy.
Team One’s leader gave little fatty a slap.
‘Don’t interrupt when Daddy’s speaking!’ he reprimanded him.
The fat kid bit his lip and stifled his sobs.
‘Comrades, children, they aren’t wolves, but they’re meaner than wolves. And they’re not tigers, but they’re scarier than tigers.’
‘Why do they eat children?’
The little demon frowned.
‘That makes me really, really mad! I said, no interruptions. Team leaders, take that boy out and make him stand alone as punishment.’
The four team leaders dragged the loose-lipped little boy out of the group; he bawled and fought so hard, you’d have thought they were dragging him to his execution. The moment they loosened their grip, his legs started churning and he hightailed it back to the group. When the team leaders ran back to drag him out again, they were stopped by the little demon:
‘Forget it, let him off this time! But let me repeat myself: You children are not permitted to interrupt when Daddy’s talking. Why do they want to eat children? Simple, they’ve grown tired of eating beef, lamb, pork, dog, donkey, rabbit, chicken, duck, pigeon, mule, camel, horse, hedgehog, sparrow, swallow, wild goose, common goose, cat, rat, weasel, and lynx, so they want to eat children. It’s because our meat is more tender than beef, fresher than lamb, more fragrant than pork, fattier than dog, softer than mule, harder than rabbit, silkier than chicken, more dynamic than duck, more straightforward than pigeon, livelier than donkey, more pampered than camel, springier than horse, finer than hedgehog, more dignified than sparrow, fairer than swallow, more mature than wild goose, not as chafly as common goose, more sedate than cat, more nutritious than rat, less demonic than weasel, and more common than lynx. Our meat tops the charts.’
Having exhausted his list and his wind, the little demon spit on the floor, looking a bit more tired than when he started.
‘Daddy,’ Team Two’s leader spoke up timidly, 'I've got something to say. Is it all right?’
‘Go ahead. I’ve talked myself out. Daddy would love to smoke some hemp right about now. Too bad there isn’t any.’ The little demon yawned.
‘How do they eat us, Daddy? Raw?’
‘They have many ways: fried, steamed, braised, cold sliced, fried with vinegar, dry fried, many many ways, but usually not raw. I said usually. They say a certain vice-mayor named Shen once ate a child raw, dipped in imported Japanese vinegar.’
The children huddled tightly, the timid ones sobbing softly.
That invigorated the little demon, who said, ‘Children, comrades, that is why you must do as I say. At this critical juncture, you must show your maturity and transform yourselves overnight into indomitable heroes. No more boo-hoos, no more sniveling. The only way to keep them from eating us is to unite as one, become an impregnable wall of iron and steel. We must become a hedgehog, a porcupine. They’ve eaten all the porcupine they want, and our meat is a lot milder than a porcupine’s. We must become a steel hedgehog, an iron porcupine, so we can make mush out of those man-eating monsters’ lips and tongues! They might eat well, but well mess up their digestion!’
‘But, but, these lights…’ Team Four’s leader was stammering.
The little demon waved him off. ‘I know what’s on your mind, you don’t have to say it. What you want to know is, if they plan to eat us, why give us such beautiful surroundings. Am I right?’
Team Four leader nodded.
‘All right, I’ll tell you,’ the little demon said. ‘Fourteen years ago, when I was still a child, I heard people say that the dignitaries of Liquorland ate little boys, and there were enough details in the rumor to make it frightening and mysterious at the same time. After that, my mother started delivering one baby boy after another. But every one of them reached the age of two, then suddenly disappeared. All I could think was, my kid brothers were eaten. At the time, I was ready to expose this monstrous crime, but was thwarted by a mysterious skin disease – scales all over my body that oozed pus when you touched them. It made people sick just to look at me, and no one saw me as an edible commodity. That kept me out of the tiger’s lair. Eventually, I turned to thievery. One day, I broke into an official’s home and drank a bottle of liquor with paintings of apes on the label Lo and behold, the scales began to fall off. With each layer, I got smaller, which is why I look like this today. So even though I have the appearance of a child, my mental capacity is as broad as the ocean. Their secret of eating children must be revealed, and I shall be your savior!’
The children’s attention was fixed on the little demon and his revelations.
‘Now why have they put us in such a big, beautiful room?’ he continued. ‘Because they want us to be content. If we’re not, our meat will turn sour and chewy. Children, comrades, this is what I want you to do. Turn this place into a shambles!’
The little demon picked up a rock from the artificial hill, took aim at a bright red lamp on the wall, and flung it. With his strength, the rock raised a draft as it cut through the air. But his aim was off- the rock thudded against the wall and bounced straight back, nearly taking the head off one of the boys. The little demon picked it up, took aim again and threw it. Another miss. This time followed by curses. He picked it up again, mustered up the tenacious strength of a baby at the nipple – Fuck your mother! – and heaved it with all his might. This time he was right on target. The lamp shattered, sending shards raining down on the floor; the forked filament blazed red for an instant, then went dark.
The children stood stock-still, watching him like marionettes.
‘Smash, start smashing! What are you waiting for?’
Some of the little boys yawned.
‘Daddy, I’m sleepy, I want to go to bed…’
The little demon rushed up and started punching and kicking the yawning boys, eliciting yelps and screeches; one of the bolder, stronger boys actually hit back, drawing blood on the little demon’s face. Seeing his own blood, he stepped up and sank his teeth into the boy’s ear with such ferocity that he bit off half of it.
That was when the door opened.
An elderly serving woman in a spotless white uniform opened the door and rushed into the room. It wasn’t easy, but she finally managed to separate the little demon and the little boy, who was crying so hard he nearly passed out. The little demon was spitting blood, green light streamed from his eyes. But he didn’t say a word. His victim’s severed ear was twitching on the floor. When the serving woman spotted the ear, then the little demon’s face, she paled, let out a fearful yelp, and ran out of the room, her rear end wrenching from side to side, the heels of her shoes raising a mad tattoo on the floor.