"It's enough to make you get religion and walk the straight and narrow," said Matilda. "Now that I've experienced Heliopolis II, I don't ever want to go to hell."
He chuckled. "So where are you and Dimitrios going next?"
"Dimitrios isn't with me, and I'm not going anywhere."
"Oh?"
"But you are," she continued. "You're coming to Heliopolis II as soon as you can."
"Why, if it's that horrible a world?"
"There's someone I want you to meet."
"And who is that?" asked Dante.
"Santiago."
Part 3: THE ONE-ARMED BANDIT'S BOOK
15.
From out of nowhere the One-Armed Bandit
Built his legend, honed and fanned it.
In the Book of Fate he burned it—
Watched it spread til all had learned it.
"I've heard about the One-Armed Bandit," remarked Virgil Soaring Hawk as their vehicle sped toward the city.
"So you've said," answered Dante Alighieri. "Why do you seem so unhappy about it?"
"What I've heard doesn't jibe with Matilda's description of him."
"Well, we'll meet him in a few hours and make up our own minds," replied Dante. "In the meantime, I've scribbled down a tentative verse about him."
"Let's hear it."
Dante read it to him.
"What's the Book of Fate?" asked Virgil.
"Poetic license."
"Read the first two lines again."
"From out of nowhere the One-Armed Bandit built his legend, honed and fanned it."
Virgil frowned. "The meter's wrong. You got too many syllables in that opening line."
"Orpheus never worried about meter when it interfered with truth."
"That was Orpheus," said the Injun. "And besides, you don't know what the truth is."
"Well, if it's anything remotely like what Matilda thinks it is, I'll polish the verse and maybe fix the meter." He looked out at the bleak landscape. "Considering that she didn't call me to check out Dimitrios of the Three Burners or the Rough Rider, this guy must be something very special."
"The Rough Rider?" repeated Virgil, surprised. "Is he still alive?"
"After a fashion."
"Damn! I'm sorry I missed him."
"One of your childhood heroes?" asked Dante.
"After a fashion." Suddenly Virgil grinned. "I always wondered how he'd be in bed."
"If he doesn't share your unique sense of adventure, I imagine he'd be quite deadly."
"Yeah, probably. Still, it would have been fun to find out for sure."
A couple of rocks bounced off the vehicle.
"Stop!" commanded Dante.
The vehicle stopped.
"Open the doors!"
"My programming will not allow me to open the doors when doing so might put you at risk," answered the mechanical chauffeur.
"We're all at risk right now!" snapped Dante. "If someone's going to try to kill me, I want to be able to shoot back."
"Correction, sir," said the chauffeur. "This vehicle is impregnable to any weapon currently in the possession of the Unicorns. You are not at risk, and will not be unless you step outside."
Dante alternated his glare between the chauffeur and the shadows on the nearby hills.
"May I proceed, sir?"
"Yeah, go ahead," muttered Dante. "No sense staying here."
"What would you have done if it had let you out?" asked Virgil. "There could be a hundred of them up in those hills."
"And there could be two."
"Even so, do you think you're capable of taking even two of them?"
"Maybe not," admitted Dante. "But you are."
"I've got nothing against the Unicorns," said Virgil. "Besides, I'm a lover, not a fighter."
"Is that so?" responded Dante irritably. "You've kill four people since you hooked up with me."
"But I've been to bed with eleven of various genders and species," answered Virgil, as if that ended the argument.
Dante stared at him for a long moment, couldn't think of a reply, and realized with a wry smile that the argument was indeed over.
The rest of the journey to town was unremarkable. The landscape appeared dull, but from the comfort of their vehicle they could only guess what it felt like to walk through that heat and gravity while breathing the thin oxygen.
"I wonder what the hell he's doing here," remarked Dante.
"The place is supposed to be lousy with diamonds," said Virgil. "What better reason is there?"
"You know, I could get awfully tired of you and your worldview."
"You just don't like the fact that it's so defensible," answered the Injun.
"Maybe I'll change my name back to Danny. Then I won't need a Virgil at all."
"But your Santiago, when you anoint him, is going to need a Virgil, a Dante, a Matilda . . . all the help he can get."
"It's not up to me to anoint him," said Dante.
"Sure it is," replied Virgil. "If you write him up in your poem, he's Santiago, and if you don't, he isn't."
"It's not that simple."
"It's precisely that simple."
Dante was about to argue, realized that he didn't really give a damn what Virgil thought, and fell silent. They reached the city in another minute, and were soon climbing out of the vehicle in the Tamerlaine's basement.
"Well, let's go get our rooms," said Virgil, walking to the airlift as the vehicle raced turned and sped the garage doors and began racing back to the spaceport.
"Not just yet," said Dante as they floated up to the hotel's lobby.
"Why not?"
"Matilda sounds more than impressed with the One-Armed Bandit," said Dante. "She sounds half in love. It may be coloring her judgment, so I want you to nose around and see what other people have to say about him. And find out where he's staying, if you can, just in case I want to speak to him alone."
"You might have told me before the fucking vehicle left," muttered Virgil.
"Yeah," agreed Dante. "But then you'd be so fresh and full of energy that you wouldn't do what I asked until you'd bedded half a dozen men and women and probably tried to make it with the robot chauffeur as well."
Virgil frowned. "I think I liked you better when you were an innocent."
"I was never an innocent," the poet corrected him. "I just didn't know you as well as I do now."
"Comes to the same thing," grumbled Virgil, walking through the airlock as Dante went up to the desk to register.
"Mr. Alighieri, right," said the clerk. "Two rooms?"
"That's correct." He paused. "Do you have any rules about visitors in your rooms?"
"No."
Dante tossed a 20-credit cube on the desk. "Tell my friend you do."
"Yes, sir, Mr. Alighieri," said the clerk, pocketing the cube. "Will there be anything else?"