Peter had gone to London for a brief spell. He was not thinking of leaving Enderby yet, although his search for property was not proving very fruitful. But he had interests in London to attend to. He said he would soon be back.
Edward Barrington had gone back to Nottingham and Mrs. Barrington had caught a chill and had taken to her bed.
“You should go over to see her,” said my mother. “She is especially fond of you.”
So I went. I sat by her bed in the cosy room where a fire was burning in the grate.
“So good of you to come, Jessica. You’ve cheered me up a lot.”
“How did you get this chill?” I asked.
“Run down I think. I worry a lot. I do wish Edward wasn’t in the thick of all that in Nottingham.”
“These people are becoming a real menace,” I said.
“It’s spreading, I’m afraid. It’s a deadlock. Edward said that if they don’t have the machines they can’t compete with foreigners … and if they can’t make profits the men will lose their jobs anyway.”
“They can’t see that, of course.”
“They’re shortsighted, Edward says. I am glad his father has semi-retired. I do wish Edward could stay here for a while until it settles down.”
“It is his business. He feels he must be there.”
“Oh yes … but it worries me.”
“It’s a worry for us all.”
She reached out and took my hand. “I wish … He’s such a good young man.”
“Yes,” I said, “he is.”
“There are very few like him, you know. He has always been so reliable. How I should love to see him settled.”
Clare Carson came into the room. “I came to see if you wanted any more coal on the fire.”
“I think it is all right, thank you, dear. I was talking to Jessica about those terrible riots.”
“You mustn’t fret,” said Clare. “Edward knows how to take care of it.”
“Oh, I know. But I do hate to think of it. I wish …”
“It can’t last,” I said. “I hear they are imposing more and more heavy sentences on those who create the disturbances.”
“Sometimes that makes people more angry,” said Mrs. Barrington. “Clare, do you think you could go and ask them to bring us some tea?”
Clare went out and left us.
“The fire will get rather fierce,” I said. “Would you like me to put up the screen?”
She sighed. She would have liked to talk about marriage and she knew it was a subject which I wanted to avoid.
The tea came eventually. Clare took it with us and the talk was general—about the Christmas festivities, the weather and the prospects for the year.
On my way home I met Amaryllis with Peter. I was surprised. I had not known that he was back.
“I only arrived this morning,” he said. “I called at Eversleigh this afternoon and learned you were out. Amaryllis and I decided to take a ride.”
“We were just going back,” said Amaryllis.
“So was I.”
We all went back together.
During the next few days I noticed a change in Peter. He seemed preoccupied. I did not see him alone. I felt something must have happened while he was in London and I wondered whether some proposition had come up which meant that he was no longer interested in an estate near us.
Three days after his return he asked us over to Enderby to dine. The memory of that evening stayed with me for a long time. I don’t think I had ever been more shocked in the whole of my life.
Amaryllis had been absent the whole of the afternoon. She had returned to Eversleigh to change for dinner and we had all gone together in the carriage.
Peter greeted us warmly and said how glad he was to be back, and very soon we were seated at the table. He talked about his visit to London, how glad he was to be back and what a pleasure it was to see us round his table. It was all very conventionally convivial.
Then came the blow.
He said: “I think it is time we let you into the secret. I do hope you will all share our joy. We are going to be married.”
I stared at him. He had not asked me. Surely … I could not believe this was real. I must be dreaming.
He was smiling across the table at Amaryllis, who was blushing and looking extremely pretty.
“Yes,” he said, “Amaryllis has promised to be my wife.” He was looking at David and Claudine now. “My gratitude to Amaryllis’ parents who have told me they are willing to accept me as their son-in-law. And I am hoping we shall have the approval of the rest of the family.”
“Well, Amaryllis,” cried my mother, “this is a surprise!”
I knew that she had thought I was the one in whom he was especially interested.
“As soon as we saw each other… we knew,” Peter was saying.
Then everyone seemed to be speaking at once. Someone was talking of toasts. I felt myself behaving mechanically. There was a great lump in my throat. One thought was uppermost in my mind. No one must know.
I could not believe this was happening. I was so unsure of my feeling. I was not exactly in love with him. I had enjoyed his attentions. I had thought he was very seriously regarding our future. I was too shocked, too bewildered, to think clearly.
Amaryllis was smiling happily. She looked very beautiful. I lifted my glass with the rest. I noticed that Claudine was avoiding my eyes. She was sorry for me … Oh no, I could not bear it.
Had I betrayed my feelings? Was I betraying them now? I had to say something. I had to act normally. Did Peter know? Had he guessed? Amaryllis did not know. She would not be so happy if she did.
I heard myself say: “What a pity you didn’t wait. Edward and I were going to announce our engagement when he came back to Grasslands.”
Silence. Then exclamations of pleasure. This was what my parents had wanted. They had always wanted me to marry Edward Barrington.
“This is great news,” cried my mother jubilantly.
My father said: “So it’s to be two of them, is it? I didn’t think our Jessica would allow Amaryllis to steal a march on her.”
So they drank their toasts; and I sat there numb and thought: What have I done?
How like me to have acted on the spur of the moment. I should have been calm. But it had been the only way to cloak my feelings. I would not have them sorry for me—him too, knowing as he must have done that I had believed he was in love with me. And all the time it had been Amaryllis. I could not believe it even now.
Amaryllis was beside me. She put her arms round me and kissed me.
“I’m so pleased, Jessica. Edward is a fine man. Isn’t it wonderful … both of us on the same day.”
I said it was wonderful. I drank the toasts. And all the time I was longing to escape to my room.
I wanted to be alone to think about what I had done.
When we returned my mother came to my room. She knew me so well that I wondered if she had guessed.
She put her hands on my shoulders and drew me to her; she held me tightly for a few moments.
“My dear, you are happy, aren’t you?”
“Yes, of course,” I lied.
“Edward is such a good man. Your father and I have always liked him. We have always hoped …”
“Well, you are content now. But I shouldn’t have blurted it out like that. I should have waited for Edward to be there.”
“I understand,” she said. “There was Amaryllis …”
“I wanted to share in it, I suppose. That was why …”
“Well, it is not important how and when the announcement was made. All that matters is that you and Edward …”
“I… I er would rather it wasn’t mentioned … not till Edward comes home. The Barringtons might be a little put out. After all, it should have been said when they were all present. I think it should be kept just in the family… until Edward comes back.”