“We were in the ship a few days before we were chosen by those who would be our masters for the term of our sentence. An advertisement would have appeared in the newspapers to say that a cargo of prisoners had arrived for selection. We were taken on deck and there we stood while our prospective owners came and inspected us. I can tell you that was one of the most humiliating moments of my life. We were like cattle. But I distress you again and I want to tell you of my good fortune. I was selected by a grazier who had a small station some miles out of New South Wales. He was not a bad man. He wanted a good worker. I was young and strong and I was to serve a seven years’ term, which was an indication that I was not a hardened criminal.
“Joe Cleaver selected me and from that moment I began to feel a little more like a human being. It was not an easy life. I began to realize how comfortably I had lived during my twenty years. But I was not averse to work. In fact I welcomed it. I was given blankets and I slept in a hut which I shared with two others. There we prepared our food and boiled our water in billy cans. Eight pounds of beef a week, ten pounds of flour; and a quart of milk a day—that was our ration. And we laboured from dawn to sunset. It was a hard life but I began to like it. Joe Cleaver noticed me because I had introduced him to one or two methods of work which produced good results. Within a year I was sleeping in the house. He consulted me now and then.”
I nodded. I could well imagine it. He would be noticed wherever he was.
“The months passed … the years passed … all seven of them and I was free. Joe didn’t want me to go. He gave me a strip of land and helped me. I had a few sheep. Then I had more sheep. Joe said I would be a lucky grazier. He reckoned in no time I would have a station of my own. Then the news came. They had traced me. My brother had died and I had inherited my family’s estate and title.”
“So you left what you were building up and came home.”
“Yes, I came home.”
“You will go back to Australia?”
“I think I may one day. You would be interested to see the place?”
“I am always interested to see new places.”
“It changes all the time. It grows. I saw it grow in the years I was there. Joe used to take me into Sydney with him. He said I had a way of bargaining which he lacked. I supposed I was more articulate, more shrewd perhaps. Joe and I became very good friends. What was I saying … Yes, a growing town. There are streets where once there were cart tracks. There are so many natural assets. Yes, I should like to go back.”
“What of the land you have there?”
“I put a man in charge of it, so I must go back one day.”
“Not to stay.”
“No. My home is in England … in Cornwall. Do you know Cornwall?”
I shook my head.
“You would like it. It is different from the rest of England. It’s closer to nature. It isn’t that only. The Cornish are a superstitious race. There is something there … something fey. You who are so practical, so full of good sense would be sceptical perhaps.”
“I fear I am not so full of common sense as you appear to think.”
“I am sure you are.”
“How could you be sure? You hardly know me.”
“I know a good deal about you.”
“You met me when I was a child more or less … and then nothing more until last night.”
“You have never been far from my thoughts since our first meeting.”
I laughed lightly. “Gallantry, I suppose,” I said. “The sort of thing men feel they must say to women.”
“The truth,” he insisted. “Do you know, when I was battened down in that loathsome place I could soothe my fury against fate by thinking of that bright-eyed little girl who was so earnest, so eager and who had saved my life. One never forgets someone who saved one’s life.”
“You exaggerate.”
“Indeed not.”
“I didn’t save your life. My father did what he could.”
“Because you insisted. Penfold told me everything. He came to the docks to see me off before I left.”
“I felt responsible.”
“Because you were followed to the house. Yes, you sustained me during those days. And then afterwards when I was living in my hut I would think of you. I used to say to myself, One day I am going to be free and I shall go back and find her. She will be grown up then …”
“Did you ever think of Dolly?”
“Now and then. Poor Dolly.”
“I should have thought she might have been the one in your thoughts.”
“Dolly? She was there … and she was gone. I think she felt like that of me.”
“Do you think a girl like Dolly would indulge in a light relationship, a sensation of an hour and then think no more of it? Dolly never knew a man before you, nor after you. Dolly was no light o’ love to be picked up and thrown aside.”
“It happened. She understood. She knew I was going away. It was that sort of relationship. There was never intended to be anything permanent… on either side.”
“I find that difficult to understand.”
“Of course you do. But for the child it would have been of very little moment.”
“I do not think it was for Dolly, but then of course she is a member of that sex which is born to serve the other.”
He smiled at me. “How fierce you are in defence of women. You are just as I knew you would be. But I never thought I should come back and find you … married.”
“Why not? I am not a child any more. I shall soon be twenty-one.”
“Seven years … eight years … it’s a long time out of a life. Tell me about your marriage. Are you happy?”
“I am happy.”
“But not completely so?”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because I sense it.”
“I could not have a kinder husband.”
“You have told me very little about him. He had an accident. That is all I know.”
“Before that accident I was engaged to marry him.”
“Were you very much in love?”
I hesitated. I did not know why I had to be entirely frank with him.
“You weren’t,” he said. “Then why did you marry him?”
“Amaryllis had become engaged, and I suppose I thought it was time I did. They all wanted me to marry Edward … his family and mine.”
“Rich, I suppose? Of good family,” he said ironically.
“Not particularly rich. Comfortable, with a business in Nottingham … good solid people, honourable. My family liked them. As a matter of fact, but for you we should never have known them.”
He looked surprised.
“It was when we went to Nottingham … when you stood on trial… that we met them. They became friendly and they bought Grasslands when Dolly died. They became our neighbours as well as friends.”
“So you became engaged because Amaryllis did?”
“It was something like that. Then there was this terrible accident. Edward was so brave … so wonderful. He wanted to free me but I wouldn’t have it. So we were married.”
“It is no life for you,” he said.
“It is the life I have chosen.”
“You were not meant to live a nun’s life. You are a vibrant person, full of life.”
“Were you meant to be treated like a slave? What do you mean when you say it is not what I was meant for? Clearly we are meant for what befalls us.”
“I could not help what happened to me. Could I have stood by and seen Leah ravished?”
“Could I stand by, having given my promise, and leave Edward because he had been crippled?”
“You do the most quixotic things. The idea of tying yourself for life because of a gesture!”
“And what of you? The idea of coming near to death and then suffering seven years of servitude … just for a young girl.”