I said they would invite us and we should also go to Enderby, although Amaryllis was scarcely in a condition to entertain.
“Oh, Eversleigh will do the honours. But the main problem is Tamarisk.”
It was a strange meeting. She came into the room and he stood up and went to her. She looked up at him with curiosity.
“So you are my daughter,” he said.
“They say that,” she said almost disbelievingly.
“Well, then it is time we got to know each other.”
She shrugged her shoulders and turned away.
“Tamarisk,” I cried indignantly. “Your father has come a long way to see you.”
“You’ve been to the other side of the world.” She turned to him and there was a certain interest in her eyes.
“Yes,” he said. “It’s very different there.”
“With kangaroos?”
He nodded.
“Did you ever see one?”
“Yes.”
“With a baby in its pouch?”
“Yes, and I’ve eaten kangaroo soup.”
“You killed it.”
“Somebody must have killed it to make the soup. You can’t make soup out of live things.”
“Did you have a boomerang?”
“Yes, I had that. I hear you are riding and that you are a good rider.”
“Do you like horses?”
“Very much. Perhaps we can go for a ride together and have a good talk.”
“All right,” she said. “I’ll put on my riding habit. I’ve got a new one.”
“That’s splendid. You can show me the country.”
“All right,” she said. “Wait there. I won’t be long.”
I smiled at him when she had gone. “I think,” I said, “you have taken the first step.”
We were alone in the room.
“Jessica,” he said. “I have missed you so much.”
“Please … not here … not in this house.”
“You will come to London.”
“Oh Jake, it can’t go on. Now I am back here with Edward I see that.”
“He will never know. And we need each other.”
“I could not bear for him to know.”
“You can’t be expected to live like a nun … not you, Jessica. You couldn’t.”
I said: “I have already shown that I am no nun. I have already broken my marriage vows.”
“I love you.”
“And I love you … but it is all impossible. We have to see that. This is the way I have chosen. I could not ever hurt Edward.
He has suffered so much already. What do you think it is like for him, lying there, day after day … a man and yet not a man.”
“What is it like for us … being denied each other?”
“You will find someone.”
“There is only one I want.”
“That can’t be so. If we had not met at the Inskips’…”
“I should have come down here and found you. It was inevitable … from the moment we met all those years ago. It had to be.”
“We must be strong. I am going to be. It was a madness which came to me in London. Now that I am home … with Edward … I know that.”
Tamarisk burst into the room wearing her new riding habit and looking pleased.
“I’m ready,” she announced.
“Well, let us away,” said Jake.
He opened the door for her and she went through. Then he turned to look back at me. He put his fingers to his lips and threw them towards me.
I should be pleased. The meeting had gone off better than I had hoped. Tamarisk was wary but he would soon win her with his charm. I could see that.
It might be that she would have another hero to set beside Jonathan.
I went to Edward.
“I can see all went well,” he said. “You look very pleased with yourself.”
“They’ve gone riding. I think she is going to take to him.”
“Well, he’s a likeable fellow. I wonder if he will want to take her away from us.”
“That will be for him and her to decide.”
“She might like the idea of that place in Cornwall.”
“There is one person you have forgotten. Jonathan. She has quite a passion for him.”
“Oh yes. It would take a great deal to get her to leave him.”
“I wouldn’t be sorry to see her go to Cornwall.”
“She is something of a liability.”
“I wasn’t thinking of that. She is old for her years and I am a little perturbed about this obsession with Jonathan. Jonathan himself has quite a reputation.”
“I am sure Jonathan would never misbehave at home.”
“I hope not. I fear that violent passion of hers might tempt him.”
“No, no. It is true he has been rather free with the girls. Tamarisk is different. Whatever his inclinations he would curb them where she is concerned.”
“The feeling might come over him. After all she is there, his willing slave. She is old for her years … precocious … growing up fast.”
Edward shook his head. “Jonathan would show restraint, I am sure. He is a decent fellow at heart.”
Oh Edward, I thought, you believe the best of everyone. What would you say if you knew your wife had thrown restraint to the winds in a house in Blore Street, that she has betrayed you not once but several times with this man who is now a guest in your house?
There was an innocence about Edward. He was like Amaryllis in a way. He believed in the goodness of people. Such as they were aroused a protective instinct. I never wanted Edward to know the truth about me. I vowed that he never should. I remembered fleetingly the occasion when Peter had come across us arm in arm in Blore Street. Peter might not be very observant, having other matters on his mind, but everyone might not be the same.
There was only one way to ensure Edward’s never finding out that he had an unfaithful wife. So far we had been undetected. We must never let there be a chance of our betraying our guilty secret.
I remembered what a big part Leah had played in our story. She had come into our household and now seemed like one of the ordinary servants. She was an excellent nurse for Tamarisk and I often wondered what I should have done without her. She was quiet, they said below stairs, and kept herself to herself. She was not interested in the young men although many would be ready to take notice of her with a little encouragement. It was whispered that she was afraid of them because of an “experience” she had once had.
We knew what that experience was for it had nearly cost her saviour his life and he had paid for his part in the affair with seven years in a penal settlement.
And now she would come face to face with him.
She was there when they returned from their ride. I had prepared her for I thought that was wise. She had turned very pale and then flushed.
She said: “It was a long time ago.”
“Yes,” I agreed.
“I never forgot what he did for me.”
“Of course you wouldn’t.”
And there they were. He was rather flushed from the ride; his eyes were alight with pleasure. I think he was rather intrigued by his daughter. Tamarisk looked like a handsome boy in her riding clothes; she was a daughter of whom he could be proud.
“We had a lovely ride, Leah,” said Tamarisk. “We raced. He beat me … but only just.”
“Leah,” he said. “Little Leah.”
He went to her and took both her hands. She lifted her eyes to his and I saw the adoration there. It moved me deeply.
“So you are looking after my daughter?”
She nodded. There were tears in her eyes. She said: “I have thought of you.”
“I’ve thought of you too, Leah,” he answered gently.