Table of Contents
Title Page
Dedication
Copyright Page
the Ribbajack
A Smile and a Wave
The All Ireland Champion Versus the Nye Add
The Mystery of Huma D’Este
Miggy Mags and the Malabar Sailor
Rosie’s Pet
Evil breeds evil
Archibald sat listening until the chaplain’s heavy, plodding footsteps receded below stairs. A slow smile stole across his spotty face, growing into a maniacal grin. Leaping up, he went into a frenzied dance around the room, his eyes glittering with villainous delight. He had just found a victim for the Ribbajack he was intent on conjuring. Old Reverend Dusty Miller, the Sky Pilot! Revengeful spite and pent-up malice poured from him like sewage squirting from a cracked cess tank. When he first heard of the Ribbajack, all he desired was to see what it looked like. Now he had a definite aim for the horror he was about to create. The removal of his newfound enemy! The moment that dog-collared old buffoon had mispronounced his name, Archibald Smith knew the chaplain was going to be the first victim of the monster. Putting pen to paper, he began composing a verse as an aid to materialising his own personal Ribbajack.
O nightmare beyond all dreaming,
Dark Lord of the single eye . . .
THE REDWALL BOOKS
Redwall
Mossflower
Mattimeo
Mariel of Redwall
Salamandastron
Martin the Warrior
The Bellmaker
Outcast of Redwall
Pearls of Lutra
The Long Patrol
Marlfox
The Legend of Luke
Lord Brocktree
Taggerung
Triss
Loamhedge
Rakkety Tam
High Rhulain
The Great Redwall Feast (picture book)
A Redwall Winter’s Tale (picture book)
OTHER BOOKS
Seven Strange and Ghostly Tales
Castaways of the Flying Dutchman
The Angel’s Command
The Tale of Urso Brunov (picture book)
TO MY SONS, MARC AND DAVID
PUFFIN
Published by the Penguin Group
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Registered Offices: Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
First published in the United States of America by Philomel,
a division of Penguin Young Readers Group, 2004
Published by Puffin, a division of Penguin Young Readers Group, 2006
Text copyright © Redwall La Dita Ltd., 2004
All rights reserved
THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS HAS CATALOGED THE PHILOMEL EDITION AS FOLLOWS:
Jacques, Brian.
The Ribbajack & other curious yarns / Brian Jacques.
p cm.
Summary: A collection of six short stories which feature a variety of monstrous
creatures by the author of the Redwall series.
Contents: The Ribbajack—A smile and a wave—The All Ireland Champion
versus the Nye Add—The mystery of Huma D’Este—Miggy Mags and
the Malabar Sailor—Rosie’s pet.
1. Monsters—Juvenile Fiction. 2. Children’s stories, English. [1. Horror tales,
English. 2. Monsters—Fiction. 3. Horror stories. 4. Short stories.]
I. Title: Ribbajack and other curious yarns. II. Title.
PZ7.J15317Ri 2004 [Fic]—dc21 2003066448
eISBN : 978-1-101-14395-7
The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party Web sites or their content.
http://us.penguingroup.com
the Ribbajack
GENTLE READER, HEED MY PLEA,
pray witness now this shocking tale,
’twas told to me by one, forsooth,
who vowed he spoke the honest truth,
he took an oath, he told no lies,
and swore it on his own three eyes!
End of Term, Summer 1937
Archibald Smifft was worse than any plague or pestilence known to man. This was the unanimous consensus of opinion by all at the boarding school of Duke Crostacious the Inviolate. Teachers, pupils, groundsmen, cooks and all ancillary staff were in total agreement on this, and who, pray, would deny their assessment?
A single glance at the boy in question would confirm the fears of even a stranger. Archibald Smifft was indeed the raw material from which nightmares were made. From the top of his scrofulous bullet-shaped head, with its jug-handle ears and ski-jump nose, the beady eyes (which had often been compared to those of an ill-tempered cobra) glaring out from the spotted moon crater of a face, right down from his rounded shoulders, pot belly and wart-scarred knees, to the fallen arches of his flat feet, the Smifft boy was the very portrait of villainy, viciousness and malicious intent.
He had been abandoned as a baby on the school driveway, sitting smugly in an outrageously expensive bassinet. In one hand the child clutched a chamois bag containing a king’s ransom in uncut rubies; in the other, a recently dead frog. Attached to his satin pillow was a note: “Deer sur. Pleez giv Archibald a gud ejercayshun an bring him up propper. Maw roobeez to folloh. Singed, X Smifft. Pee yess. He lykes byting thingz.”
The headmaster, a gentle, trusting man named Aubrey Plother, I.O.U.E. (Institute of Unskilled Educators), and the matron, Mrs. Twogg, were the two who found the infant. Trying hard to avoid Archibald’s malevolent smirk, Mr. Plother’s heart softened. He snatched the bag of rubies, declaring charitably, “Mrs. Twogg, marm, I feel we would be neglecting our Christian duty were we not to adopt and care for this unfortunate waif. I have decided he shall receive the benefits of a thorough education here at my establishment!”