QUITT
Please stop being conceptual. I once gave someone a present, some chocolate for his child. The chocolate was wrapped in small squares, each one with a picture of a different fairy-tale motif. Oh, the father said disappointedly, it’s not a puzzle! And then he said: That’s it, deprivation of the imagination by the chocolate manufacturers. When he said that, I suddenly stood very distantly beside him and felt radically alone. I looked down at the floor in utter loneliness. So, please stop.
PAULA
But you were the one who started it.
QUITT
Do you see that nail sticking out of the wall there?
PAULA
Yes.
QUITT
It’s long, isn’t it?
PAULA
Very long.
QUITT
And how thick is your head?
(Pause.)
PAULA
Perhaps I should turn on the light after all.
(Pause.)
QUITT
Today the doorbell rang. Because I was curious who it was, I went to open the door myself. It was only the eggman, whom the so-called estate sends around from house to house once a week. He always comes at the same time. I’d forgotten. “Can’t you be someone else for once?” I wanted to scream.
(Pause.)
PAULA
And what if I were someone else?
(QUITT takes one step toward her. She does not step back.)
QUITT
And recently I saw a silent film. No music had been dubbed in, so it was almost completely quiet in the theater. Only now and then when something funny happened a few scattered children laughed and stopped again at once. Suddenly I had a sense of death. The feeling was so strong that I yanked my legs far apart and spread my fingers. What social conditions can you use to explain that? Does this syndrome already bear someone’s name? If so, whose?
PAULA
I can’t explain it to you by social conditions. It is unconditionally yours and can’t be emulated. As a social factor it’s not worth mentioning. The masses have other worries.
QUITT
But which will pass.
PAULA
Yes, because the conditions will pass too.
QUITT
And then the masses will perhaps have my worries, which do not pass.
(WIFE appears with a magazine in her hand.)
WIFE
Austrian dramatist, dead, seven letters?
QUITT
Nestroy.
WIFE
No.
QUITT
Across or down?
WIFE
Across.
QUITT
Raimund.
WIFE
Of course. (Exits.)
(Pause.)
PAULA
The watch — it isn’t an heirloom. (Pause.) Is that still too conceptual?
QUITT
Now I won’t tell you what I’m thinking.
PAULA
And what are you thinking?
QUITT
It’s kind of you to ask. But why don’t you ask me of your own volition? I yearn to be questioned by you. Do I have to bang my head against the floor to make you ask about me? (He throws himself on the floor and actually bangs his head a few times against it, then stands up at once and steps up to PAULA.) I would like to snap at the world now and swallow it, that’s how inaccessible everything seems to me. And I too am inaccessible, I twist away from everything. Every event I could possibly experience slowly but surely transforms itself back into lifeless nature, where I no longer play a role. I can stand before it as I do before you and I am back in prehistory without human beings. I imagine the ocean, the fire-spewing volcanoes, the primordial mountains on the horizon, but the conception has nothing to do with me. I don’t even appear dimly within it as a premonition. When I look at you now, I see you only as you are, and as you are entirely without me, but not as you were or could be with me; that is inhuman.
PAULA
Excuse me, but I can’t concentrate any longer. (She takes a step, so that their bodies touch.) So what were you thinking?
(Pause.)
QUITT
You know it anyway.
PAULA
Perhaps. But I’d like to hear you say it.
QUITT
Now I feel strong enough not to tell you any more.
PAULA
(Steps back.) We are alone.
QUITT
I am alone and you are alone, not we. I would not want to transpose the “we” of our deal to you and me at this moment.
PAULA
Isn’t this moment, too, part of our deal?
QUITT
Don’t you get out of your box even for a second?
PAULA
Your impatience is what keeps me boxed in.
QUITT
(Flings her to the floor. She lies there, supports herself on one elbow. Then she gets up.) How gracefully you get back on your feet!
PAULA
I’d like to leave now.
QUITT
Hans!
(HANS appears with a long fur coat over his arm and first walks in the wrong direction.)
QUITT
Over here. Where did you think you were?
HANS
(Helps PAULA into her coat.) Always with you, Mr. Quitt. It was bright in the room I just left.
PAULA
Hans, you’re good at helping people into their coats.
HANS
Mrs. Quitt has the same one.
PAULA
(To QUITT) I would like to tell you something about myself, Quitt, just like this, without being asked to. And note that, for the first time, I’m speaking about myself. After your wife left I slowly exhaled. And while exhaling … please don’t laugh.
QUITT
I’m not laughing.
PAULA
While exhaling … please don’t laugh.
QUITT
Another second and I will.
PAULA
(Loudly) As I exhaled, love set in. (She leaves.)
QUITT
(To HANS) Don’t say anything.
HANS
I’m not saying anything.
(QUITT’S WIFE enters, turns on mild indirect lighting, and sits down. She gives HANS a signal to leave.)
QUITT
Nobody’s cleaned up. (HANS proceeds to dust. To his WIFE) And what did you do all day?
WIFE
You saw what I did: I went in and out and back and forth.
QUITT
And what was it like in town?
WIFE
People respected me.