"Shear Off, you bastard," He roared. "We were here first!"
The fat man scowled. "Screw you!" he shouted back. "Who the hell are you? You're damned sure not a robot ore carrier!"
"You noticed!" Jirik replied with broad sarcasm. "And you're not an Epsilon Class tramp. So, we both know what we aren't, and we both know what we are! Now bugger off before I blow off your bow and stern, and ram you amidships!"
"Pah!" The fat man replied, "You and what fleet? Slow down, you bastard, and we'll talk about it. Maybe we can work out a deal. If we can get that hauler, there'll be enough for both of us."
Jirik glanced at his screens, and saw that the pirate had turned, and was now on an intercept course. Fortunately, the projected intercept point was over a million kilometers past the Lass' jump point. As he had mentioned, however, they couldn't outrun the pirate's lasers and missiles. He had to keep the bluff going.
The verbal sparring continued for several minutes before the pirate began to get suspicious. They were less than two minutes from the jump point when the pirate's suspicions were first verbalized.
"Where the hell're you goin' so fast?" The fat man whined, "D'you know something that I don't?"
"Screw you!" Jirik yelled, "That's none of your damned business!"
The man sat back with a satisfied expression. "So," he replied in an oily tone, "You do know something. You're gettin' ready to jump. Slow down and tell me, or I'll fire on you!"
Jirik smiled his most annoying smile. "Right. We really need to be shooting each other up out here, while the prize gets away!" He glanced at the countdown timer. Only seconds left to jump. "The hell with you," he continued. "You stay here and try your luck. I'm going to follow up on my own idea!"
The fat man's face turned red, but just as he was beginning to sputter out his obscene opinion of Jirik, the countdown timer clicked to zero and the Lass jumped.
Jirik collapsed back into his command chair with a tremendous sigh. As he wiped the sweat from his face, he noticed Via standing to one side, out of the range of the comm pickups, and grinning from ear to ear. Jirik was about to snap at her when Tor's voice interrupted.
"That was great, Captain!" The boy enthused. "He never even suspected!"
Jirik grunted, but Via responded. "The kid's right, skipper. You run the best bluff I've ever seen, or heard of. Are you sure you were never a pirate?"
Jirik flushed. "All right, damn you. It worked long enough for us to jump. That's what matters."
"Personally," Bran's amused voice came from the intercom, "I liked the part where you were going to blow off his bow and stern and ram him amidships. Sounded like fun to me!"
Via's white teeth gleamed. "Yeah. If only we'd had something to do it with!"
Jirik was redfaced, but obviously pleased. "All right, you idiots," he retorted with mock gruffness, "That's enough. Get your damned stations secured, and let's get something to eat. I'm starved."
They adjourned to the mess deck, but the adrenalin rush hadn't subsided, manifesting itself in loud and raucous horseplay. Finally, they began to calm, and to discuss the encounter more seriously.
"We were damned lucky that that pirate captain had the intelligence of a bagamo fruit," Jirik said.
Via's grin flashed. "He wasn't exactly the brightest light in the galaxy, was he?"
"No," Bran replied, "But the Captain's right about one thing. We were damned lucky. Again. Luck seems to be running with us, this trip."
"It wasn't luck!" Tor protested, "It was the Captain! His act was good enough to fool anyone!"
Jirik flushed. "Via came up with the idea. I was just able to carry it off – at least for a few minutes. If we'd had to go any farther, though, he'd have had us. I kept waiting for one of his crew to tell him that we were a DIN Class ship."
Via sobered. "Yeah. He was on an intercept course. If we'd had to go another light-second, we'd never have made it."
"Right!" Jirik snapped. "Via, I hope that the rest of your recal points are safer than the last ones have been!"
The Astrogator shrugged. "I hope so too, Captain. Believe me, I didn't think that I was underestimating the pirates when I plotted this course. I really thought that we'd get to Alpha with very little trouble."
Bran was frowning. "You can't blame Via, Captain. All of us thought that she plotted us a safe course."
"Yeah," Jirik admitted, "You're right. After all, I approved the damned course. But, so far, we've had pirates show up at every recal point but the first. Something's wrong."
Tor's brow was knitted with concentration. "Maybe we're wrong," He said tentatively. "I mean, maybe our strategy was wrong. Maybe we're going about this whole voyage the wrong way!"
Jirik and Via frowned quizzically, but Bran's face brightened.
"Maybe the kid's right!" he said. "Look. Via plotted us a course to keep us as far from inhabited systems as possible. That's the obvious thing to do. So, that's what the pirates expected us to do. I'll bet that pirates are patrolling almost every out-of-the-way system between here and Alpha."
Jirik jumped to his feet. "Damn! You're right!"
"Of course!" Via added. "I thought that I was plotting an evasion course; but naturally, an evasion course is what the pirates expected! How could I be so stupid?"
Jirik waved away the question. "You were no stupider than the rest of us. I approved your course, remember? The question is, what do we do about it? Or maybe what can we do about it?"
Via frowned in concentration. "Well, we can't do anything about the next recal point. You can't change course in mid-jump. But we've got . . . " She glanced at her ring watch, "Ninety-four hours to plot a course change from there. That's no problem, but I need to know where you want to stop. We're going to have to try to figure out the safest recal points, and I don't have the foggiest idea which ones would be best."
"Yeah," Jirik replied, "I don't know either. All right, bring your astrogation charts to my cabin when we've finished here. We'll put our heads together and try to figure it out."
"Bullshit!" All heads turned toward Bran. "Sorry, Captain, but I think you're wrong. Tor and I may not be Astrogators, but our lives are at risk, too. Tor was the one who spotted to fallacy in our reasoning, not you or Via. I think we'd be smarter to put all our heads together."
Jirik had bristled at Bran's exclamation, but his irritation had subsided as Bran had explained. "You're right," He admitted, "You don't have to be an expert to plot strategy. Expertise only comes into play when planning tactics. Okay, Let's hear some ideas."
Bran had obviously been thinking about it. "How about plotting a more or less random course? As long as it moved us in the general direction of Alpha, I mean."
"It would mean a lot more jumps," Via said doubtfully
Jirik frowned. "More jumps mean more recal points, and more chances to be ambushed. Besides, I don't think it would help. Sooner or later, we'd jump into a system staked out by a pirate."
"S-Sir," Tor contributed, blushing furiously, "The obvious alternative is to stick to inhabited systems. In fact, we could set almost a direct course to Alpha."
Via grinned. "Yeah, Tor, but just because one choice is bad doesn't mean the other is good. One of the reasons we chose uninhabited systems in the first place was that any ship we encountered could be assumed to be an enemy. Inhabited systems mean traffic, with no easy way to tell the good guys from the bad guys."
Tor's brow had furrowed. "Uh, could we pick recal points with Guard or Patrol stations in them? Pirates would have to be crazy to jump us with Planetary Guards or Patrolmen around!"
Jirik walked to the table and leaned over the navigation charts. "Not a bad idea if we can do it, Tor," he said, "But we'll have to see how many Guard or Patrol systems we can use." Guard and Patrol stations and outposts were clearly marked on the charts, and the four began plotting possible routes to take advantage of as many as possible