It was reported that at Kennedy International Airport one such company president was heard to shout hysterically, «Anywhere but Cairo! I will not clean urinals!» The significance of the remark is unclear.
STARS AND STRIPES
THE NEWSPAPER OF THE U.S. ARMY
DEFECTORS FROM CUBA COMMISSIONED
Fort Benning, Saturday—In a first for the army, two highly regarded former officers in Castro’s military machine, experts in sabotage, espionage, covert operation, intelligence, and counterintelligence, have been commissioned with the ranks of first lieutenant at this base, announced General Ethelred Brokemichael, chief of Information and Public Affairs.
Desi Romero and his cousin, Desi Gonzalez, who defected from «the intolerable situation in our homeland,» will head up a Special Forces unit being formed at Benning after linguistic indoctrination and orthodontal treatment.
The army welcomes such brave and experienced men who risked their lives to seek freedom and honor. In the words of General Brokemichael, «A great motion picture could be made of their exploits, we should look into that.»
Summer was fading, lethargy receding, each a prelude to the energized games of autumn. The north winds grew chillier in the mornings, reminding the residents of Nebraska that soon they would become colder, then very cold, finally numbing the skin; another prelude, this, to the winter snows. However, such thoughts were far from the minds of the Wopotami nation, for as the negotiations with the United States Government continued, Washington saw fit to send two hundred and twelve state-of-the-art trailer homes to the reservation, replacing the wigwams and the ramshackle structures previously used for communal gatherings and shelter for many against the winter snows. Of course, what Washington did not know was that several hundred perfectly adequate cabins had been bulldozed only weeks previously and that the tepees, or wigwams, were previously an unfamiliar sight on the reservation except for a few around the tourists’ gate. MacKenzie Hawkins was not one to overlook either the subtleties or the inconsistencies of observable terrain; no trained military man would. It was all part of the strategy, and no battle was ever won without a plan.
«I still can’t believe it,» said Jennifer, walking hand in hand with Sam down a dirt road on the reservation, the field to their right dotted with huge, extravagant trailers, each with a satellite television dish attached to the roof. «It’s all coming out the way Mac thought it would.»
«The negotiations are going well then?»
«Incredibly. If we frown simply because something’s not clear, they fuss and backtrack and make a better offer. Several times I’ve had to interrupt the government people and explain that the financial aspects were perfectly satisfactory, I just wanted a legal point clarified. One lawyer from the GAO shouted, ‘You don’t like it, don’t worry, it’s out!»
«That’s a nice position to be in.»
«I was merely excusing myself to go to the ladies’ room.»
«Strike my comment… But why are you being so gentle?»
«Come on, Sam, what they’ve offered is so outrageously beyond our wildest dreams it would be criminal to argue.»
«Then why even negotiate? What are you after?»
«To begin with, a legally binding guaranteed timetable for our immediate needs, such as good housing, fine schools, paved roads, a real, honest-to-God village with seed money for stores and shops so decent livings can be made right here legitimately. Then maybe a few goodies like a couple of community pools and clearing Eagle Eye Mountain for ski lifts and a restaurant—but, of course, the latter could be considered part of our commerce. It was Charlie’s idea; he loves to ski.»
«How’s he doing?»
«Darling, I diapered that kid and now I sometimes feel almost incestuous.»
«Huh?»
«He’s so much like you! He’s quick and smart and, yes, funny—»
«I’m a very serious officer of the court,» Devereaux broke in, grinning.
«You’re a lunatic and so is he, both your lunacies mitigated by quick perceptions, irritating memories, and reducing complexities to fundamental simplicities.»
«I don’t even know what that means.»
«Neither does he, but you both do it. Did you know that he came up with an insane, insignificant blemish on our history of jurisprudence called non nomen amicus curiae when Hawkins filed his brief? Who would ever know what it is, much less remember it?»
«I do. Jackson versus Buckley, 1827, one stole pigs from the other—»
«Oh, shut up!» Jenny released his hand, then immediately grabbed it back.
«What’s Charlie going to do when this is over?»
«I’m making him the attorney-of-record for the tribe. He can run the ski resort in winter at the same time.»
«Isn’t that terribly limiting?»
«Perhaps, but I don’t think so. Someone has to be here to make damn sure Washington lives up to every article of the reconstruction agreement. When you’re involved with building on this scale, you’d better have a lawyer at your beck and call. Ever put an addition on your house that was completed on time? And I should add that I’ve placed heavy penalty clauses on every aspect of the construction.»
«Charlie will have his hands full. What else did you get from Dizzy City, as Mac calls it? I mean beside your ‘immediate needs’?»
«Very simple. An uninvadable, irrevocable trust based on irreversible guarantees by the Treasury Department that the tribe will receive a basic two million dollars a year, adjusted for inflation, for the next twenty years.»
«That’s chickenshit, Jenny!» cried Sam.
«No, it’s not, darling. If we can’t make it by then, we don’t deserve to. We don’t want a free ride, we simply want the opportunity to get in the mainstream. And knowing my Wopotamis, we’ll take you palefaces for just about every nickel you’ve got. If I also know my tribe, and surely I do, in twenty years your President will probably have a surname like ‘Sundown’ or ‘Moonbeam,’ take my word for it. We didn’t refine the yaw-yaw juice for nothing.»
«And now what?» asked Devereaux.
«And now what what?»
«What about us?»
«Did you have to bring that up?»
«Isn’t it about time?»
«Of course it is, but I’m afraid.»
«I’ll protect you.»
«From whom? You?»
«If need be. Actually, it’s very simple, and as you’ve pointed out, Charlie and I can reduce complex matters into simple issues anyone can understand.»
«What the hell are you talking about, Sam?»
«Reducing a complicated situation into a very simple problem.»
«What, may I ask, is that?»
«I refuse to live the rest of my life without you, and somehow I get the idea that you might feel the same way.»
«Say there’s a grain of truth in what you say, just a grain, even a large kernel, how is it possible? I’m in San Francisco and you’re in Boston. That’s not a good arrangement.»
«With your credentials, Aaron would hire you in a minute at a terrific salary.»
«With your record, Springtree, Basl and Karpas of San Francisco would make you a partner before me.»
«I could never leave Aaron, you know that, but you’ve already left one firm in Omaha. So you see it’s been reduced to a simple either/or, based on the assumption that we’d both take the gas pipe if we couldn’t be together.»
«I didn’t go that far.»
«I did. Can’t you?»
«I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may incriminate me.»
«Still, I have a solution.»