C HAPTER N INE
Annabelle
Noah and Wade were already working on someone’s car when I entered the office. Sitting down behind the desk, I was glad to be alone for the moment, needing to soak up the incredible morning I’d had with Zander.
It felt like bubbles were in my blood. I was walking on clouds as I went back and forth from the office to the back room. I wanted to hold on to the feeling and never let it slip away.
Waking up with Z’s arms around me had been something I’d missed all week and, for the first time, I’d gotten a full night’s sleep. My heart had felt like lead when I realized he’d have to leave me soon, but then he’d asked me to have breakfast at his grandparents’ house and I couldn’t help the tears that had nearly spilled free. How could something as small as going for breakfast have brought me to tears so easily? For the first time in forever I’d felt truly happy, and it was all because of Zander Brockman.
Without realizing it, a stupid grin lifted my lips and I was still sporting it several hours later when Noah came into the office to wash his hands and grab a quick snack. My brother opened his bag of chips as he sat down on the edge of my desk where I was sorting through invoices for our latest parts shipment.
“Zander put that stupid look on your face?”
My head snapped up and my grin faded as I glared up at Noah. “Shut up,” I snapped at him, not wanting him to make fun of the bubbly feeling I was still having.
He popped a Dorito into his mouth. “Don’t get all defensive, Annabelle. I’m just curious what or, more to the point, who put that silly grin on your face. I like it. Looks good on you, baby sis.” He shrugged and popped two more Doritos into his mouth. “If it was because of Z then I’m cool with that. He’s good for you.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “Really? You’d be okay if we…?” Noah shrugged again and my heart melted with love for my brother. “Thanks, Noah.”
He grimaced. “Don’t thank me yet, honey. We still have to talk about Nashville. The way things are looking we might be moving up there by the end of next month.”
“Nashville isn’t that far away. I could see Z on the weekends…” Noah was shaking his head. “Why not?”
He tossed his now empty bag of chips in the trashcan by my feet and wiped his cheesy fingers on his grease-stained jeans. “Don’t tell Z, but when I went to Nashville this week, I told the radio exec about OtherWorld. He gave me the number of a guy and I’ve been talking to a manager who wants to hear the band. As soon as I find my replacement, I’m setting up a meeting for them. If this guy likes what he hears, then the band will be moving to California to start looking for a record deal.”
I gasped, seeing the pain in my brother’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Noah.” Tears burned my eyes and I tried to keep them at bay, but a few fell free. Noah was giving up so much to take care of me. Anyone who knew my brother knew that OtherWorld was his life. His giving them up and even helping them in the process must have been killing him. I didn’t know if he was going to be happy going solo, but I knew it wouldn’t fill the void OtherWorld did.
I was costing him OtherWorld. He was leaving the band because of me, so that he would be able to take care of me. I was choking with the regret I felt over ruining his life. Things would have been so much simpler if I’d just kept my mouth shut. I could have dealt with Jacob if I’d known just how much I would fuck up Noah’s life.
He lifted a hand and wiped away my tears. “This isn’t your fault, Annabelle. I don’t ever want you to think it is. I’m the one who is making this decision. You didn’t force me. I’ll still have music, so it’s not like I’m giving it up completely. I have you and Chelsea. That’s all I need. Nashville will be a good fit for the three of us.”
“But—”
Noah clenched his jaw and stood, walking around the desk. “No buts. I’ve got work to do.”
“Noah…” He stopped at the door and turned his head to look at me. “I love you.”
His face relaxed. “Love you, too.”
My grin didn’t return for the rest of the workday. I spent the hours trying to go through the invoices and other paperwork that needed my attention, but I couldn’t remember what I’d read or actually done with it all. My mind was caught on the fact that Zander could be leaving me in just a matter of weeks. Part of me was ecstatic about the opportunity for him and OtherWorld, but a bigger part was heartbroken.
Zander would move to California and become a rock god. There would be girls, so many fucking girls. He’d hook up with them all, live the life of the badass rocker I knew he would be. He’d forget all about me…
Muttering every vicious curse word I knew, I tossed the paperwork into a filing cabinet and locked up the office before stomping up the stairs to the apartment. My chest was so tight I felt like I was going to pass out from the pain. I practically ran into the bedroom and locked the door behind me before falling onto the bed and crying like the baby I was.
Z was going to leave. OtherWorld was too good for that manager Noah had mentioned not to want to help them move up in the rock world. As long as they found someone with the right vocals to take over for Noah, there would be nothing to stop them from getting signed.
Sob after sob shook my body, each of them leaving my throat tortured and raw. My heart was breaking and Zander wasn’t even gone yet. I knew it was only a matter of time, though. The countdown had already begun and it was just a matter of weeks before he would be gone. I wanted to beg and plead for him to stay in Tennessee, for me. For us. I’d love him for the rest of my life if he would just stay and hold me.
The tears came faster, the sobs so intense I felt like I was destroying all of my organs. It wouldn’t have mattered if I had. The second Zander was gone, I wouldn’t need any of them. And he was going to leave.
I wasn’t going to beg him to stay. I wouldn’t plead. Not because I thought Zander wouldn’t, but because I knew he would. Z was just too good of a man. If I begged him to stay, I knew he would and I couldn’t do that to him. I couldn’t ask him to stay when I knew he deserved to be out there sharing his music with the world.
Turning over onto my back, I wiped away the last of my tears and glared up at the ceiling. My head was killing me from all the crying I’d done, my entire body aching like I’d just been hit by a bus, but I’d come to a decision that I was going to stand by. I’d take what little time I had left with Zander and cherish every damn second of it. I’d live off the memories forever if I had to, but I wasn’t going to ask him to stay. I wouldn’t be selfish.
I’d already ruined my brother’s life.
I wasn’t about to ruin Z’s.
By the time I heard Zander’s truck pulling into the garage’s parking lot, I’d gotten myself under control. I’d showered, changed into a pair of running shorts and a tank top, and then put chilled spoons on my swollen eyes. There were no signs that I’d had a complete breakdown just a few hours before. I couldn’t let him see that I was so close to shattering into a million pieces at his feet.
Zander knocked on the door and I forced myself to take a few extra seconds to compose myself before I opened it. As soon as my eyes fell on him, I had to fight back the urge to cry again. No, Annabelle. Just stop it. Ruining two men’s lives in one week wasn’t going to happen. I forced back the tears and let my eyes trail down over the delicious boy/man standing on my doorstep, needing to commit everything about him to memory for those days I knew I’d need it the most.