I caught her hand in mine and brought it to my lips, kissing each knuckle as I begged God for willpower. “I want you to touch me, Anna. So fucking bad it’s making me shake. But once you do I’m not going to be able to hold back, and you deserve better than me turning into a damn caveman and taking you on a fucking couch where you brother can come in at any second and catch us.”
“We could take this into the bedroom,” she offered, the shyness returning.
I cupped her chin in my hand and kissed her lips tenderly before pulling back. Now that I was able to control myself somewhat, I wasn’t about to get in over my head again. “I’m not going to fuck you, Anna.”
The shyness and need faded from her eyes so fast it was like I’d dropped a bucket of ice water over her. She tried to pull away, but I wouldn’t let her go. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her roughly against my chest. “You’re not the kind of girl a guy fucks, Anna. You’re the type of girl a guy should take his time with. Cherish and love her like she deserves. That’s what I want, baby. That’s how it will be if I’m ever lucky enough to get that chance.”
She melted against me, no longer trying to push away. Her arms wrapped around my neck and she lifted her head, showing me the tears that were already spilling over. “Z—”
“You’re so beautiful, Annabelle. So fucking beautiful.” I lowered my head and kissed away the tears that streaked down her face. “How’d I get so lucky? Huh? How did a sweet girl like you fall for a fuckup like me?”
“Don’t say that,” she whispered. “You aren’t a fuckup. You’re a good man, Z. That’s why I love you.”
My heart stopped at those last three words. I closed my eyes, trying to savor everything about them. The way her lips had formed each word, the sound of her sweet voice, how her eyes had shone with love despite the continued tears. “I don’t deserve you, Anna.”
She blew out a huff and snuggled against my chest. “You deserve everything you want, Z. Maybe one day you’ll understand that.”
Yeah. I doubted it, but…
Maybe.
C HAPTER T EN
Annabelle
School on Monday was a hell of a lot better than it had been the week before. I was able to focus more on what the teachers were saying instead of staring off into space… Okay, mostly I didn’t stare off into space. I got the majority of what the teachers were trying to make me learn. The rest of the time I would daydream about Zander.
He’d surprised me when he’d spent Sunday night with me. With Noah home and Zander having to work the next morning, I was sure he’d go home and sleep in his own bed. Which had kept me depressed most of Sunday afternoon while he was at home with his grandmother. He’d shown up at eight with a large Tupperware container full of Gram’s spaghetti and an entire loaf of fresh baked French bread smothered in garlic butter.
I’d eaten with him and Noah in the living room while they watched a football game on television. I’d gotten bored less than halfway through the game and pulled out my history book to study for the test that we were supposed to have on Friday. The guys had kept quiet for me and I was able to sit beside Zander instead of having to go into the bedroom.
I don’t remember when I fell asleep, but around eleven I’d felt Zander lift me and carry me to bed. As he’d laid me down in the middle of the queen-sized mattress, I’d pulled him down with me. “Don’t go,” I murmured. “Stay with me.”
In my half-asleep state I wasn’t sure if I was asking for him not to go that night…or ever. When he’d chuckled deeply and started taking off his boots, I was thankful he’d assumed it was for the night. Smiling through the pain, I’d scooted across the bed and waited for him to take his jeans off before crawling into bed with me and pulling me close.
The lights were off, something I was glad for because I hadn’t wanted him to see my tears. I needed to savor every second I could get with him, I reminded myself, and buried my face in his chest to soak up the scent of his body wash and aftershave. I needed to memorize everything about him, including his scent.
I was starting to relax again when the door cracked open and I heard Noah’s voice. “Gram knows you’re not coming home?”
“Yeah, man.” Zander’s voice had caused his chest to vibrate and I’d been unable to contain my shiver of desire. He’d felt it, his arms tightening around me as he tucked me closer.
The feel of his hardness was unmistakable, but he didn’t try to kiss me or even touch me beyond just holding me close. If he was aching just a fraction as much as I was, then I knew he had to be in pain, but neither of us dared to start anything. I didn’t want the first time Z made love to me to be when my brother was in the next room and could hear us. Gross.
“Night, then. Night, Annabelle.” Before I could respond, the door had closed behind my brother.
Zander was gone when I got up for school that morning. Vaguely I remembered him kissing me goodbye before he’d left. He had to go home and get ready for work so I knew he wouldn’t be there when I got up. Didn’t mean I wasn’t disappointed to wake up without him beside me, his lips brushing softly over my ear or cheek. Still, I was ten times happier this Monday than I’d been the Monday before, so I was able to get through the day with little difficulty.
With the last bell still echoing in my ears, I walked out to my bus and was about to get on when I saw a familiar truck across the parking lot. Frowning, I stepped back and waved at the man sitting in the driver’s seat and the little girl who was practically bouncing with excitement on the passenger side.
Wroth Niall said something to his favorite person in the world and I watched as Marissa giggled and he got out of his older-model truck. As his scary big body got out of the truck, he waved me over and I didn’t hesitate to go. Scary, Wroth might be, but I trusted him just as much as I did Noah and Zander.
“Hey,” I greeted when he stepped back from the driver’s side door, holding the door open for me. “What’s up?”
“Zander called me this morning and asked if I’d pick you up since I was going to be in town anyway.” He helped me into his truck. “We’re doing auditions this evening.”
My heart clenched and my gut rolled, but I tried to make my smile not look forced as I greeted Marissa. The girl threw her arms around me and started talking a mile a minute about her day at school. I was thankful for the distraction so I didn’t torture myself with the realization that this audition was one step closer for OtherWorld getting their big break and taking Z away from me.
As soon as Wroth pulled up in front of the garage I hurried up to the apartment with Marissa to change and drop my backpack on the bed. When I returned to the living room, Wroth was stretched out on the couch with the remote in his hand, completely comfortable enough in my brother’s apartment to make himself at home.
Marissa had unpacked her backpack and had her homework spread across the coffee table. I went into the kitchen to grab all three of us a snack. Placing the milk and cookies down beside Marissa, I sat down on the floor with her and helped her with her math homework.
Even at nine years old, Marissa was the prettiest girl I’d ever seen in my life. I could picture her older, those amazing blue eyes and that long dark hair making the boys beg for her attention. I pitied them all, because I knew that, with Wroth and Liam around, those guys would never get beyond a friendly hello before they were knocked on their asses. Marissa would have to learn to put her foot down with those two overprotective beasts if she ever wanted a boyfriend.