I sat back in my chair after he left the room. “I didn’t expect you to have company. If I had, I would have called before I came over.”
Gabriella waved her hand dismissively. “You’re always welcome here, babe. I love seeing you. Natalie, Devlin and Zander just brought us some breakfast this morning. Natalie offered to do the dishes but Dev wouldn’t let her so he designated himself and Z to clean up. Apparently she’s in there cleaning up their mess plus our earlier one.”
Without my realizing it, my hands started to shake at the mention of Zander. Clenching them into fists, I sat up a little straighter in my chair. “Like I said, I wouldn’t have come if I’d known you had company.”
I wanted to jump up and run from the room. I didn’t want to be in the same state with Zander Brockman let alone the same house. For weeks I’d had to deal with seeing him in passing at the hospital. Each time I’d seen him it had felt like I was being stabbed in the chest with a knife.
I’d avoided so much as looking at him, but the few times I’d found myself giving in, it was to find his tortured green eyes staring at me. Green without the gold flecks. I’d felt destroyed seeing his eyes like that. Other than that first time he’d spoken to me, he’d kept his distance and I had been both glad and hurt to my very soul that he hadn’t tried to talk to me. Was it really so easy to forget all about me? To ignore me for so many years and pretend like I didn’t exist when I was in the same fucking room as him?
With all the hell I’d had to deal with over the last month, having to see him so often had been the worst part of all. I’d barely slept at night torturing myself over Zander Fucking Brockman.
Gabriella smirked at me. “So, it’s true?”
I blinked, not understanding her. “What?”
“That you and Z once…?”
Pain sliced through me at her question. I tried not to think about that time in my life, but that wasn’t possible. Ever. Something always reminded me of my time with Zander. Gabriella had no way of knowing what I’d gone through after Zander had left me. She didn’t know the lows I’d fallen to just to try to get him to talk to me on so many occasions. No one but Noah, Chelsea and Rich Branson knew how desperate I’d been to have Zander open a letter or pick up a fucking phone and have a five-minute conversation with me. Gabriella had no clue of the shame I still felt for trying so many times over the years to reach out to a man who had made it perfectly clear I didn’t matter to him. I couldn’t yell at her for asking a question that felt like it was tearing my heart out of my chest. Sure it was a small, innocent-enough question, but it hurt nonetheless.
“Yeah,” I muttered and had to clear my throat. “Another lifetime ago, but yeah.”
The amusement left her face. “I’m sorry, Annabelle. I wasn’t trying to be a bitch. It’s just that when Liam told me that you and Z…” She shrugged. “Well, I couldn’t really believe it. You two are so different. I mean, you’re so put together and he’s…well, not.”
“Have you found any changes you’d like to make yet?” I changed the subject without even caring that I was being obvious about it. “I have a lunch appointment so, if you don’t mind, we need to hurry this along.”
Her eyes filled with sympathy. “Just that I want a few extra days to do those new songs I’ve been working on. And talk to Emmie for me about getting OtherWorld into the studio with me so we can record the newest song I wrote.”
I pulled a legal pad out of my bag and scribbled that down before I forgot. She used my pen to sign where she needed to before handing everything over. With them in hand, I didn’t bother to waste time putting them back in my bag. Standing, I gave her a small smile. “I’ll be in touch. Take care of yourself until then.”
Gabriella snorted. “No worries there.”
From the kitchen, I heard Liam laugh followed by two other male chuckles. How was it that I could still pick out his deep laugh? Why the hell did it still make my heart race to hear it? Tightening the hold I had on my bag, I headed for the door. “I’ll call you,” I called as I picked up my keys from the table where I’d left them and opened the door.
“Bye, babe.”
Closing the door behind me, I paused long enough to suck in a deep, steadying breath. I hadn’t even seen Zander and I still felt like my chest was being sliced to shreds. Sucking in another shaky breath, I started toward my rental, on legs that felt unsteady.
Halfway to the car, two things happened at the same time that did conflicting things to my heart. My phone rang and when I looked down at my screen, my heart melted. Also, behind me, the front door opened and someone called my name, making me turn to ice. No, not someone… Him.
Pretending like I didn’t hear him, I swiped my thumb over my phone and lifted it to my ear. I’d already missed one call that morning. I wasn’t about to do it again. “I miss you so, so, so, so much.”
The delighted sound of Mieke’s husky laugh caused my eyes to sting with tears. Fuck, I missed that kid so much. “I miss you more.”
“That’s just not possible, baby.” I pressed the button on my key to unlock my car and tossed my bag into the passenger seat before walking around to the driver’s side. Behind me, I heard heavy footsteps. My heart started racing, but I kept my full attention on the beautiful girl on the other side of my phone. “How is the test prep going? Think those tests this fall will kick your butt?”
“I got this,” Mieke said with confidence in her voice. I had no doubt that she did. She was so damn smart, so talented. She could be or do whatever she wanted, something I’d told her from the first time I held that little angel in my arms. “When are you coming home?”
“Annabelle,” Zander called my name again and my fingers reflexively tightened around my phone.
I didn’t look up as I leaned against the driver’s door and closed my eyes. “I’m not sure, baby. Listen, I need to talk to you about something. Emmie Armstrong has made me an offer. A really good offer.”
“That’s exciting, but you don’t sound like you are.” Concern colored the teenager’s voice. She always could pick up on people’s emotions so easily. It was part of what made her so special.
“Anna.”
He was getting closer and it was almost as if I could feel him as he drew nearer. The small hairs on my entire body stood at attention, as if they yearned for his touch. Hearing the way he’d always shortened my name—something I hadn’t heard in so, so long—made it feel like there were razorblades in my throat when I swallowed. “I don’t know if I’m excited or not. I don’t even know if I’m going to take the offer. I want to talk to you and the others about it first.”
“Anna.” Zander’s voice was so close now and I turned my head away, keeping my eyes on a house in the distance so I wouldn’t look at him. I couldn’t look at that man when I was talking to my favorite person in the entire world. I just couldn’t.
“Who’s that?” Mieke demanded. “Where are you?”
“I’m leaving Gabriella and Liam’s house. I have a lunch meeting with the exec from Tasha Vowel’s record label.” Tasha was one of my clients who was a complete diva. She’d been pissed the last few weeks because I’d been so busy with Gabriella that I’d had to put her issues on hold. Noah had helped me out as much as he could with the little bitchy singer, but it hadn’t been enough to satisfy her. Now I was on cleanup duty.
“But that isn’t Liam Bryant. I’ve heard his voice a lot over the last few weeks.” Mieke sounded suspicious and I couldn’t help but smile at how protective her husky voice sounded. “Who is it?”
“No one that matters,” I assured her, not daring to tell her who it was. Mieke wasn’t stupid, though. She’d figure it out, but I’d worry about that later. “I have to go, Mieke. I love you.”