C HAPTER N INETEEN
Annabelle
The ringing of the doorbell startled me awake. I jerked my head up, my eyes instantly opening. When I found myself in a room I didn’t recognize, I tensed. With the blinds open I could see that the room was painted in warm browns and the bed was a huge California king with chocolate-colored sheets and comforter.
And Zander Brockman was sound asleep beside me, his arm still around my waist, anchoring me to him.
The events of the night before flooded back into my mind and I dropped my head back onto the pillows as I tried to breathe through the memories I’d had to relive. I knew all about Layla and Jesse Thornton’s torment when their twin boys had been born so prematurely, but at least they hadn’t had to say goodbye to one of their precious babies. I understood exactly how Emmie had felt when Mia had almost been taken. She’d only had to live with the thought of her daughter being taken for less than an hour. I’d had days to imagine what was happening to my little girl in the hands of a stranger. The only thing that ever got me through it was imagining Michelle as Mieke’s guardian angel, watching over her twin during the time her sister was gone.
Thinking of my little baby in Heaven, watching over her sister, brought me peace and I was able to smile as a tear spilled from my eyes. I didn’t wipe it away. I’d never wipe away the memory of Michelle like that.
The sound of a voice I vaguely remembered followed by Mieke’s quiet reply had me lifting my head again. Frowning, I glanced at the bedroom door, slightly ajar. Seconds later the door was pushed open and the light was switched on, a frowning Natalie Cutter standing in the doorway.
Zander groaned and lifted his head to glare at the woman. “Go away, Nat. I’m trying to sleep here.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, making her baby bump stand out. “I can see that. My question is, why do you have guests? You never have guests. Especially not overnight ones.”
My eyes widened at what she’d said. Was her question seeking an actual answer, or was she telling me that Zander never had women in his apartment? I kind of hoped it was the latter, but quickly scolded myself at feeling such a stupid emotion where this man was concerned. Zander and hope just didn’t fit well with me. They never had.
His arm still around my waist, Zander pushed up onto his elbow. Yawning, he took his time answering the woman. “You know Annabelle,” he grumbled as he looked at her once more. “And that beautiful creature beside you is our daughter, Mieke.”
Natalie stood there for a full minute as if she hadn’t heard him. She didn’t so much as bat an eyelash. Then it was like someone had slapped her because she jerked and turned her head to give Mieke a thorough going-over with her blue-gray gaze. “Oh, my god,” she whispered and lifted her hand to her lips. “You look just like him.”
Mieke shrugged. “That tends to happen. It’s called genetics.”
I shot my daughter a frown, not appreciating her sarcasm. Why was she being rude? Having worked with the other woman, I’d discovered that she was not only nice and a good person to have in your corner when you felt like you were being pulled through a war zone, but she had a good heart. Natalie adored her stepson and the love she felt for her husband was unmistakable.
Natalie’s gaze narrowed before turning back to Zander. “No one ever mentioned you having a daughter, Z. This is all a little bizarre for me.”
“It’s a long story, Nat. One that will have to wait until I’ve had a few cups of coffee. Do you mind making a pot while Anna and I get up?”
The other woman shrugged. “Sure. I’ll get on that. I’m calling Dev, too. I can’t believe he didn’t tell me.”
“Probably because he didn’t know,” Mieke grumbled as she turned to go back toward the living room.
Natalie blinked after the girl. “For real?”
“Coffee, Nat. Please.” She shook her head as if to clear it, then nodded. “Shut the door.”
The door had barely shut behind her when Zander dropped back down onto the pillows, pulling me across his chest as he did. “It felt good to sleep with you in my arms again,” he murmured before brushing a kiss over my forehead.
Yes, it had, but I didn’t tell him that. There was no way in hell I was going to fall back into old habits where this sexier-than-sin man was concerned. “I need to get up.” I tried to pull away but he only tightened his arms around me. “Seriously, Zander. I have things to do.”
“Whatever it is you think you need to do, it can wait five minutes.” His tone was coaxing. His hands remained locked around me, but his fingers started rubbing soothing—and arousing—little circles just above my hips.
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to ignore the little thrills of arousal that were waking up my entire body in a way it hadn’t been in far too many years to count. Feeling his damp, hot lips against my cheek and then lower to my jaw had me biting back a whimper. No, Annabelle. Stop this now before you can’t stop yourself.
I jerked away from him and jumped to my feet, straightening my wrinkled clothes to avoid looking at him. When some of the trembles had left my hands, I turned to face him. He was sitting up in bed with the covers pulled up to his waist. Ah, thank God. I wasn’t strong enough to keep myself from climbing back into bed with him if I’d seen the proof of his arousal that I’d felt only seconds ago flexing against my stomach. He was still wearing the sweatpants and old T-shirt from the night before, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t see his cock standing at attention through those layers of clothes. If there was anything I remembered about Zander, it was that he had nothing to be ashamed of in the cock department.
“Last night changes nothing between us, Zander. The only difference between this morning and yesterday is that you now know about your daughter.”
“Our daughter,” he corrected with a smug grin.
I rolled my eyes, ignoring his interruption. “It’s actually a relief that you know about her now. It’s obvious that she loves you and you should take advantage of the fact that she wants to spend some time with you. She’s going to college next year and then she’s going to be so busy with all of that, she will forget about everything and everyone else.”
It was still hard to believe that Mieke had skipped from fifth grade to seventh and now she was in her final year of high school. Because she’d been born so prematurely, the doctors had feared that she would have development delays that would affect her not only physically but also mentally. Considering the fact that she took after her father and he was so tall, even with Mieke’s above average height some could say that she was on the small side. As for mentally, her IQ was beyond average and bordering on genius.
Hence how she had been able to hack into her father’s bank statements and find his address.
She was growing up way too fast and all I wanted was to hit the pause button so I could hold onto her a little longer.
Zander’s brow furrowed as he glared at me. “I plan on spending every spare second I have with our daughter, Anna. But I want to get to know you again too. I have so much to make up for, not just to Mieke, but to you as well. The only thing that has changed about how I feel about you is time, and time has only made me love you more.”
I flinched at the word love. It felt like a physical blow to my chest it hurt so much. The sad part was that, even when I’d tried to hate Zander Brockman, I had still loved him with what little bit of my heart was left after he’d shattered it. Letting him back into my life and even more so into my heart was not an option, however. I knew I wouldn’t survive this time around if I let myself believe in him again.