Just as I wasn’t sure how Noah would react, I wasn’t at all sure how I wanted my brother to react. For Mieke’s sake, I hoped Noah would keep his cool and would welcome her father back with a manly one-armed hug and a pat on the back. For me? I had no idea how I wanted things to play out. Sure I wanted my brother to vindicate me, to at least punch the man who had broken my heart. In the face. Twice. Yet, at the same time, I didn’t want Zander hurt.
Yeah, I was conflicted. Having spent some time with the delicious rocker again, my emotions were all over the place and I didn’t know if I wanted to punch him in the face or kiss him. The way my feelings continued to flip back and forth was giving me whiplash. And a headache.
Over the last few days, I’d gotten to know Zander again without even realizing I was doing it. I spent most of my days out, taking care of business so I could get back to Tennessee as quickly as possible. Emmie had moved lightning fast and had gotten our partnership contract drawn up. I had it in my carry-on so I could go over it a little more in-depth as well as let my attorney look it over before signing it.
My nights, however, had been spent at Zander’s apartment. It had just been the three of us each night. We would spend the evenings eating dinner together, mostly takeout. After dinner we would all sit in the living room, watching a movie—or at least pretending to. The movie was usually forgotten halfway through, at which point the huge flat-screen was put on mute and Mieke would tell her father some silly story from her childhood. She would talk until she grew tired and then she would go to bed.
Leaving me all alone with Zander Brockman. The father of my child. The man who had broken my heart…but was trying to put it back together. Not once in the few nights I’d spent at his apartment had he tried anything. He’d kept to one end of the long couch while I’d stayed on the other end. All he wanted to do was talk, so talk we did. Without even realizing it, each night I wouldn’t stop talking until hours later. He would ask question after question if for some reason I happened to stop talking.
He wanted to know about me, about what I’d been doing the last seventeen years. Was it hard for me to finish high school being a single mother? I hadn’t finished. I’d had to quit because it had gotten too hard to get out of bed some mornings, so I’d gotten my GED. When had I stepped in as Noah’s manager? I’d always acted in some way as his manager, but it wasn’t until Mieke was in school that I really took over that responsibility. Why had I kept it up when Noah had retired? I was good at it and I’d had clients lining up, begging me to be their manager. Did I enjoy my job? Most of the time, yes. But there were times when I wanted to punch one of my clients in the balls—or the tit—and tell them to go fuck themselves.
Even odder, Zander never once asked a question that was overly personal. Such as, if I’d dated anyone over the years, or even if I currently had a boyfriend.
I was glad for that small reprieve. I’d never been all that good at lying to Zander; at least I hadn’t been in the past. Now, I didn’t want to test those waters and embarrass myself by telling him there had been an endless line of guys who had wanted me and I’d let them have me. If he saw through that lie, I didn’t think I could ever face him again.
Pathetically, while Zander had broken his promise right from the start to come back for me, I’d kept my own to him. I’d promised him I’d wait as long as he needed me to, and stupidly I had. There hadn’t been another man in my life since the morning Zander had driven away. I could lie to myself and say that I hadn’t gotten involved with anyone else over the years simply because I didn’t want to risk getting hurt again. That was partly true, but not all of it.
Mostly, I guess I’d been secretly hoping that Z would eventually come back for me. That was why I’d given our baby girls variations of our names. It was why I’d done so many other stupid things throughout the years as I’d prayed for him to come back. For me.
Oh, yeah. I was definitely pathetic.
“Uncle Noah,” Mieke called out excitedly and rushed ahead of us to wrap her arms around the man who had stepped up to the plate and been the father figure that my daughter had needed for the last sixteen-plus years.
I watched as my brother wrapped Mieke up in a tight hug, swinging her around twice just to make her squeal in delight. Even though he had two kids of his own, Noah had never treated Mieke any differently than he did Ben and Audrey. To him, Mieke was just as special as his own kids.
Setting Mieke back on her feet, Noah took a step back so that he could look his niece over. “Have you grown another inch?” He lifted a brow at the teenager. “Yeah, I think you have.”
“I wouldn’t doubt it,” she assured him.
Noah’s smile started to dim. “I’m mad at you, Mieke. You scared the life out of me when Ben told me you were gone. All I could think about was…” He broke off and I knew he was remembering what we’d all gone through when Mieke had been kidnapped. He shook his blond head at her. “Don’t you ever do that to me again. You hear me?”
Mieke kissed Noah’s cheek, a soft smile on her beautiful face. “Yes, sir. I promise.”
“Good.” Keeping one arm around her shoulders, he turned to finally look at me—and the man standing next to me. Noah kept his gaze on me, as if trying to figure out what I was thinking.
For a long moment he accessed me before finally lifting his blue eyes to meet hazel. Yes, hazel. Zander’s eyes had been more often hazel than green the last two days and, while I was glad he was being so calm about all that was going on in his life at that moment, I couldn’t help but wonder why. The Zander I remembered would have had all green eyes, with little to no gold in sight.
The two men locked gazes and stood there staring each other down for nearly a full minute. I glanced at Mieke, who was watching her uncle and father, biting her bottom lip as she felt the tension radiating off of them both.
It was Zander who made the first move. Letting go of the luggage, he took a step forward and offered his hand to the man who had once been one of his closest friends. Noah hesitated for a brief moment before lifting his hand and shaking Zander’s. “Good to see you, Z.”
“You too, Noah. Looks like life has been treating you well. Congrats on your two kids.” Zander stepped back but didn’t immediately take hold of the luggage again. “I’d like to talk to you later, if that’s possible.”
“Yeah, sure, man.” Noah glanced back down at Mieke. “Let’s get you home. Your Aunt Chelsea wants to hug you…before she takes a wooden spoon to your behind.”
Mieke snorted, knowing that Chelsea would never do anything of the kind. Chelsea was the least likely person to raise her hand to a child in the world. It had surprised me just how patient she had been with our kids, even from the start. Even when I’d been ready to rip my hair out, Chelsea had been the calm one. She was the best mother, too. Making sure that not only did her kids have someone to support them, but Mieke did as well when I couldn’t be at special events. When Mieke had been taken, she’d blamed herself since she’d had to back out of chaperoning the fieldtrip. I’d been losing my mind at the time, but I’d still stopped long enough to hug her and tell her that out of everyone who could have been blamed, Chelsea wasn’t even on the list. Her son had been sick and she’d had to take him to the doctor. No one was going to ever blame her for what had happened to Mieke. I’d gut them if they even tried.
“Okay, well, we’d better get this over with, huh?” Mieke smirked up at her uncle.
Noah helped Zander with the luggage as we headed out of the airport and to the SUV that belonged to my brother. While the men put the cases in the back, I started to jump into the front passenger seat, but Mieke beat me to it. “I’ve missed Uncle Noah. Do you mind if I sit up front with him?”