Not that I was against it or anything, I was just curious. Two houses seemed a little excessive to me.
After my first drink of coffee, I’d ended up pouring the rest of the mug’s contents down the drain. It had tasted bitter to me and when I’d tried to eat the toast, my gag reflex had sent me rushing to the sink to empty the contents of my dinner from the previous evening. After cleaning myself up again, I’d felt better and had gone into work.
Emmie had found us some office space in L.A. and we had an entire floor to ourselves. She’d already set up my office for me while I’d been in Tennessee and I was really happy with how it had turned out. So far she’d added fifteen people to our staff while I’d recruited three to help me back in Nashville.
As soon as I’d sat down at my desk, my cell in one hand trying to find out where Zander and Mieke had run off to that morning, the phone on my desk had started ringing and hadn’t stopped for over an hour. Emmie was in and out of my office and we had six different meetings in the conference room by lunchtime.
One particular meeting had set me off, because I was fed up with dealing with Tasha Vowel’s diva attitude. I’d gone off on her and thankfully Emmie had backed me up when I’d point blank told the singer that we wouldn’t be renewing her contract after all. The bitch had left in a huff, but not before she’d gotten a tongue lashing from Emmie. I’d taken a sick kind of pleasure in seeing the embarrassment on my ex-client’s face as she’d stepped into the elevator.
Emmie ordered lunch, which brought back my queasy stomach and I locked myself in my office until the smells went away. After lunch, Emmie left me to the rest of the work that was piled up on my desk. She was having a Christmas party at her house that night and everyone was invited. Even Noah and Chelsea had brought their kids out to the West Coast so that Mieke and I wouldn’t have to miss the holidays with them.
My queasiness stayed with me for most of the afternoon, making me short-tempered, and the fifteen or so people running around the floor learned real quick to steer clear of me. While I was glad that they avoided me, I didn’t want them to think that one of their bosses was a tyrant to be afraid of.
Around four that afternoon I finally got a text from Mieke telling me she was out with her cousins as well as Jenna Stevenson and Lucy Thornton. She said she would meet me at Emmie’s house at eight. Apparently she was doing some Christmas shopping. I didn’t worry about her, knowing that Lucy Thornton’s bodyguard would keep my baby girl safe.
There were still no messages from Zander though, and that bugged me more than I knew it should. It wasn’t like I didn’t know I’d see him that night, and since we’d gotten back together in September, we’d basically been inseparable. I saw him throughout the day, every day. Even when I didn’t get to see him as often as I wanted, he texted me religiously and even sent me flowers at the small office I now had in Nashville every Friday.
I didn’t know why I was feeling so hurt over not seeing him or hearing from him all day, though. It was stupid. Maybe it was just because I was feeling sick and emotional. Whatever. I wouldn’t let it make me feel insecure. Our relationship was a strong one. He told me he loved me every day and he was always doing things to make me feel special, proving to me just as he had promised, that I meant more to him than anything else in the world.
It hadn’t been easy, finding our way back to the place in our relationship where we were at now. I’d had some days where I was so happy that we were back together. Some days, however, I’d been full-on pissed at the world that it had taken us this long to have our happily ever after. I tried not to think about the past—the wasted years we’d been apart—and for the most part I succeeded. But those few days that I didn’t—couldn’t—put the years we spent apart behind me, those days had kind of made us stronger. Zander knew that on those days I needed some extra TLC, and he always gave it to me. He always did something that made me realize that the past didn’t matter. All that mattered was right now.
We were happy, all three of us. Even Mieke seemed happier than I’d ever seen her and I was so glad that she was enjoying having her dad around. Then again, what girl wouldn’t want their father around if all he did was spoil her rotten? It had only been a few months since Zander had been in Mieke’s life, but from the way those two adored each other no one would ever know that.
Thinking of what an amazing father Z was turning into, I finally felt a smile teasing at my lips. Finally getting over my bitchy mood, I gathered my things and left the office. It was getting late and I still had to get back to the apartment and change before going out to Malibu for Emmie’s party.
I was just getting out of the shower when another wave of queasiness washed over me and I felt slightly lightheaded. Alone in the apartment, I was momentarily scared as I sat down on the closed toilet seat and waited for the dizziness to pass. With a shaky hand, I reached for my cell where I’d left it on the sink. My fingers trembling, I pulled up Zander’s name and hit connect.
It went straight to voicemail just as I was swallowing back another wave of nausea. Fuck, what was wrong with me? There wasn’t a bug going around and even if there was I’d have been surprised if I’d caught it. I rarely got ill, but there was always a first for everything.
After several minutes the dizziness passed and I wondered if I should just call Emmie and tell her I couldn’t make it. I didn’t want to get anyone else sick if I really did have a bug, yet at the same time I didn’t want to miss out on the fun. This Christmas party was important to Emmie and her family, and now that she considered me a part of her family, I wanted to be there.
Sighing, I reached for my hairdryer, determined to make it to the party.
With my hair done and a nice green dress on, I finished up my makeup. Putting on just a little gloss, I nearly jumped out of my skin when my cell buzzed. It was a text from Mieke and I smiled at the goofy picture of my daughter that was in my messages. She was standing with her new friends and cousins in front of a Christmas tree in Emmie’s living room.
Shaking my head, I closed my texts and briefly saw the date on the screen along with the time. It didn’t immediately hit me, but for some reason I glanced back down at the date…
Holy shit.
Zander
She was running late and I was running out of nerves. I knew if I’d looked in a mirror right then I’d see that my eyes were complete green. It was probably why most of my bandmates were sticking to the opposite sides of the room. Even Emmie was shooting me strange, questioning looks that I tried to ignore.
Stuffing my hands into the dress pants I’d decided to wear, instead of the usual jeans I preferred, I glared out the glass wall that looked at the Pacific Ocean. With all the lights on in the huge living room, I couldn’t see the crashing waves as they hit the beach, but I knew they were there. They mimicked the feelings crashing through me right at that moment.
Was it too soon? Was I moving things too fast? Had I been suffocating her?
The questions kept coming, each one of them sending my fucked-up head into even deeper chaos. I was probably moving too fast, but Annabelle had seemed happy over the last several months. She smiled all the time, laughed like she was the happiest she’d ever been in her life. When I wrapped my arms around her at night and pulled her close, she would cuddle against me and breathe me in deeply as if she never wanted our connection to end.