I guess this means I’m not in love with him, she realised. Perhaps I might have been, if there weren’t so many factors spoiling everything. Or maybe … maybe if it were love then those things wouldn’t be able to spoil it. People have affairs all the time, it seems. The idea of betraying a spouse or causing a scandal isn’t enough to deter them.
She sighed and moved to the classroom door. Dorrien should have passed through the hall by now. She paused as she heard voices and footsteps approaching, not wanting to be seen hiding.
“… this convinced you that you need to stop taking roet?” a woman’s voice asked.
The voice was familiar. Even as she realised it was Lady Vinara’s, she heard another voice reply and felt a shock of recognition.
“I am convinced, but this may not be the best time,” Black Magician Kallen replied as they passed the classroom. “I don’t need to be distracted by—”
“There is never a good time,” Vinara replied. “Do you think I don’t hear this every day from …?”
The Healer’s voice faded out of hearing. The pair were striding quickly toward the entry hall, on the way to Osen’s office. As Sonea had been.
She counted to fifty, then stepped out and continued on her way. Triumph and worry mingled as she considered what she had overheard. Triumph that she had been right: Kallen’s use of roet was a problem. Worry that she was right: Kallen’s use of roet was a problem. Which, because he was a black magician, made it her problem, too.
The door to Osen’s office was swinging shut as she arrived, so she pushed through into the room. Rothen was there already. She smiled at him as she passed. The Heads of Disciplines were in their usual trio of chairs. Kallen stood by the wall. The Administrator was seated. He met her eyes and they exchanged a nod, then she took her usual place, standing to one side of his desk.
The few missing Higher Magicians arrived soon after, and Osen began the meeting by explaining what had happened before the Hearing – Dannyl’s information, summoning Kallen, Naki, Sonea and Lilia, and what Kallen saw in Naki’s mind once her ring was removed.
“The king has not granted Naki a pardon,” Osen told them, when he was finished.
Silence followed that announcement. Sonea examined the faces of the magicians. Some were nodding and unsurprised. Others looked shocked. Rothen was watching her, his expression sympathetic and troubled. She felt her stomach sink and her mouth went dry.
What will I do if they ask me to perform the execution? She had already decided that she would not protest if they ordered it, but if they gave her the opportunity to avoid it, she would. There is no right decision in this case. Either I do it and have another death on my hands, or I refuse and force another to take on that burden.
The other would most likely be Kallen. He had never killed anyone before – certainly not with black magic, and if Naki was to die without her magic being loosed then her powers would need to be drained beforehand. Naki was no invader; she was a young woman and Kyralian. Despite Sonea’s dislike of Kallen, she would not wish the burden of such an execution on him.
If I do it, people will see me in a different way. Ruthless and cold. If I turn from that duty, they’ll see me as disloyal and cowardly. They’ll—
“I have discussed this with Black Magician Kallen and High Lord Balkan,” Osen said. “Kallen will remove Naki’s power, Balkan will apply the penalty.”
Sonea blinked in surprise even as she felt relief flood through her. Exhaled breaths combined to create a soft hiss in the room.
“The king has agreed that it should not be a public execution,” Osen continued. “Despite the deterrent effect one might have.” There were nods of agreement all around. “It will occur later tonight. The existence of these gemstones that block a mind-read must remain a secret,” Osen added firmly. “The knowledge of them must not extend beyond us here. The Sachakans are not aware of them and if they learn of this kind of magic the consequences could be disastrous.”
He took time to meet the eyes of every magician, until he’d had a nod or murmur of understanding from them all; then he relaxed and invited questions. Sonea did not hear what was asked, too caught up in her own relief.
She realised belatedly the sense behind Osen’s decision: Balkan, as High Lord, was the Guild’s leader and trained as a Warrior, so it was fitting he should enforce the law. She and Kallen had been accepted as black magicians only so that they could defend the Guild against invasion. Kallen’s removal of Naki’s power was a practical measure, little different to what he and Sonea did for dying magicians to ensure they passed away without their remaining magic causing any destruction.
A foolish anxiety slipped into Sonea’s mind. Did they think I couldn’t or wouldn’t do it? Did they think I couldn’t be trusted?
Oh, be quiet, she told herself.
The meeting finished soon after. Rothen joined Sonea as she left the office.
“Going to the hospice tonight?” he asked.
They walked into the entrance hall and stopped at the open doors of the University. They both gazed out at the forest, which was dusted in snow.
“I don’t know,” Sonea replied. “I didn’t sleep today. I could go back to my rooms, but that won’t achieve anything. I could go to the hospice, but I suspect I’ll be … a bit too distracted.”
He hummed. “I think we’ll all be, until the deed is done.”
“And for some time after. How long has it been since the Guild had to execute a member – or former one?”
He shrugged. “A long time. Long enough I’d have to look it up in a history book.”
Sonea glanced behind them. The entry hall was empty, the Higher Magicians having all left now.
“I admit that I’m relieved at their choice of executioners,” she murmured. “Though it will still be hard on Kallen to be there and take part. He’s never … he’s inexperienced.”
“Many feel they have asked a lot of you already,” Rothen replied quietly. “They feel guilty about Lorkin.”
She turned to meet his gaze. They should feel guilty about sending Lorkin off to Sachaka, she thought triumphantly, but not without bitterness. Rothen’s eyes were steady and hinted at more. She wondered how often the Higher Magicians discussed her.
“Is this why they haven’t expelled Lorkin from the Guild officially yet?” she asked.
He nodded.
“Or is it they’re afraid of what I’d say and do if they did?”
Rothen chuckled. “That, too.” His expression became serious. “I haven’t had a chance to tell you some sad news – about someone else, not Lorkin.”
“What is it?”
“Regin’s wife tried to kill herself.”
“Oh! That’s terrible.”
“Apparently she’s been attempting to for years. This is the first time it’s been, well, unavoidably public. There had been rumours, but …” Rothen grimaced. “I didn’t like to pay much attention to them.”
“Poor Regin,” she said.
“Yes. But … not for quite the reason you think, I suspect.”
“What do you mean?”
Rothen sighed. “According to rumours, each time she had attempted suicide she did so after he found out about and chased off one of her lovers.”