In some ways, I am not competent to criticize, but I think the crowd would have been dissatisfied with the morning’s performance if my wild hounds had not excelled themselves right at the beginning, immediately after the procession of the gods and the Senate, and the reading of Nero’s speech in a shortened form. Thirty or so Christians in wild animal skins were driven into the arena and then a score of hounds let loose among them.
The hounds accomplished their task excellently once they had tasted blood and they did not shrink from attacking people. They chased the fleeing Christians across the arena, skillfully felled them with a vicious snap in the leg and then without a second’s hesitation made straight for the throats of their victims, without wasting unnecessary time biting and worrying. They had been starved and had not had a morning meal, but they did not stop to eat their victims, at the most contenting themselves with licking up a little blood to quench their thirst and then at once taking up the hunt again. I gave the hound trainer the highest praise.
The wedding of the Danaides did not at all turn out as it should have. The Christian youths and maidens in their costumes were not willing to perform the wedding dances, but stood listlessly in a huddle in the arena. The professional actors had to join in to compensate for their lack of enthusiasm. The idea had been that after the wedding, the brides were to have killed their bridegrooms in different ways, as the daughters of Danaus had done. But the Christian maidens flatly refused to kill anyone, although the youths would have had an easy death in that way.
The Caronians had to club some of them to death and the rest were tied firmly between bundles of sticks together with the other criminals waiting for the fire to be lit. I must admit that the crowd did have a good laugh when the Danaides rushed backwards and forwards between the fire and the arena water buckets with their sieves, trying to extinguish it. The screams of pain from the burning Christians were so penetrating that the sounds of the water-organ and the other instruments could not drown them. That spurred the girls into action.
Finally, a beautifully decorated wooden house with old men and women Christians chained to all the windows and doorways was set alight and gave a faithful picture of the horrors of the great fire as the flames began to lick their limbs. Many of those trying to extinguish the fire lost their lives when they quite unnecessarily flung down their sieves and threw themselves into the flames in a vain attempt to drag out their parents or brothers and sisters.
The entire circus, especially the upper rows of seats where the simplest people were sitting, spluttered with laughter. But several senators ostentatiously turned their faces away. Critical remarks on the unnecessary cruelty were heard from the knights, although of course, the best punishment for the fire-raisers of Rome was that they should be burned alive.
While this was going on, the people who had been arrested at my father’s house on Viminalis arrived and were hustled in with the rest of the condemned prisoners. When Barbus and Jucundus realized what was to happen, they tried vainly to have a word with me. The guards pretended not to hear them, for many of the prisoners pleaded all manner of pretexts when the screams began to be heard down in the cellars and the stables.
They were already divided into different displays and the groups were separated for the sake of order, so I had no reason to go down there. I had to rely on the experienced menagerie foremen and stay in my seat of honor as the organizer of the animal displays to receive the applause. I would not have had time to go down, even if I had had a message that someone wished to speak to me.
In addition, Jucundus, confused and uncertain on his crutches, was more or less convinced that a certain brotherhood, in fact insignificant, which he had formed with some Eastern boys at the Palatine school had been discovered and now he was to receive his rightful punishment. These youngsters, in their foolish youthful way, were in favor of crushing Parthia and setting up the capital in the East. In some ways, this was what Nero also sometimes considered when he was tired of the Senate. The difference lay only in that the Romans were to be ignored after a successful war in Parthia and the ruling power was to be transferred to the old Eastern royal families.
Naturally no one would have taken such boyish ideas seriously had they come to light, for boys will always be boys. But Jucundus, who was only fifteen and had just received the man-toga, was so conceited that he thought he was being punished for political conspiracy.
When Jucundus realized he was to die, he confided in Barbus, and since they had been unable to get in touch with me, they decided to die honorably together. And I do not know if I could have helped them even if I had known of their fate, for Nero was embittered by my father’s public insult in front of the Senate.
For practical reasons, I had arranged things so that for the whole of the second half of the program there would be wild animals in the arena. To lend variety and excitement to the show, I had decided to arm the Christians who wished to fight the animals. But I could only distribute swords, daggers and spiked clubs, which those who wanted them received at the entrance of the arena.
Jucundus and Barbus announced that they had chosen lions and swords and they had their way at once, for unfortunately most of the Christians were not willing to perform and only a few stated their wishes. Most of them wished to offer no resistance and to go to paradise as easily as possible. After the interval, to cheer the crowd up, I sent a group of Christians in animal skins out into the arena and another pack of hounds after them. But this time the hounds did not obey the whis-des, and having accomplished their task, stayed where they were, rushing around on the sand. I had no objection any longer, save that these harrier hounds were expensive beasts and should not be killed unnecessarily.
Then it was the turn of our three wild lions. They were handsome animals and I had good reason to be proud of them. On the advice of my experienced subordinates, I had kept a group of feeble old men, old women, cripples and half-grown children for the lions, for according to my information, nothing amuses the crowd more or arouses louder laughter than when dwarfs and cripples flee from wild animals. For this reason, Jucundus was well suited to the lions.
First the group had to be assembled, limping and hopping into the center of the arena, the hound trainers protecting them with their whips. Fortunately the hounds showed no interest in them because they were not in animal skins. Then Jucundus and Barbus stepped into the arena with their swords, leading the ten or so other armed Christians.
The crowd broke into a howl of laughter at the sight of this youngster, jogging along on his crutches, and the toothless old man presenting arms with his sword in front of the Imperial box. I was upset by this demonstration from the spectators and glanced at Nero. I suspect that he was offended by the laughter and my faulty judgment, although I could not have foreseen this, but he managed to keep a good countenance and laugh with them.
I must admit that I myself was irresistibly amused by Jucundus’ and Barbus’ conceited performance until I recognized them. But as they plodded out into the middle of the arena and arranged the other armed Christians in a circle around the older people and the children, I did not know who they were at all.
I could not have imagined anything so impossible as my own son and my most faithful servant ending up with the wild animals. Indeed, for a moment I wondered who had thought up the bright idea of putting these two comical creatures in the lead of those who were to fight the lions.