But why list the downfall or exile of so many acquaintances, noble friends and respected men during that year and the next? It is more agreeable to tell of the rewards which Nero distributed to those who had distinguished themselves in the suppression of the conspiracy. He gave the Praetorians the same sum of two thousand sesterces per man as the conspirators had promised them. He also raised their pay by deciding that from then on they would receive their grain free whereas hitherto they had had to buy it at ordinary market prices. Tigellinus and two others received the right to a triumph, and triumph statues of them were erected in Palatine.
I myself insinuated to Nero that the Senate had become a little thin and that my father’s place still remained empty. There was a great need for a man on the Eastern committee who, like my father, could advise on Jewish affairs and who could mediate between the State and the Jews’ interests in connection with their special position. From Nero’s point of view it would be politically farsighted to appoint senators who had demonstrated their loyalty to him by their actions, for the Senate had in many ways shown itself-to be unreliable and still in sympathy with republicanism.
Nero was astonished and said that he could not yet appoint anyone with such a bad reputation as mine as senator. The Censors would interfere. In addition, after this conspiracy, he had lost his faith in mankind and no longer trusted anyone, not even me.
I spoke energetically for my case and said that in Caere and elsewhere in Italy I owned the property necessary for the rank of senator. At the same time it was also my good fortune that the lawsuit my father had brought in Britain on Jucundus’ behalf, in connection with his inheritance from his mother, was completed after long delays and adjustments in that country. Britons can also inherit on the distaff side, and Lugunda had been of noble birth as well as a hare-priestess.
Lugunda herself, her parents and her brothers had all been killed in the rebellion. Jucundus had been the only heir and also, as the adoptive son of a senator, a trustworthy Roman. The new King of the Icenis had approved his legal claim. In war compensation he had also received, in addition to a great deal of land, some grazing lands in the neighboring country of the Catavelaunias, for they had been involved in the rebellion too and this compensation cost the Iceni king nothing.
He wrote a personal letter to me and asked me in exchange to try to persuade Seneca to lower at least slightly his exorbitant rates of interest which were threatening to cripple the reviving economic life of Britain. I was Jucundus’ legal heir, for my father had adopted Jucundus.
So I used the opportunity to have this inheritance approved by Nero. He would actually have had the right to confiscate it because of my father’s offenses. But now because of the conspiracy, Nero for once had money in such quantities that he had no reason to be difficult. In return I revealed Seneca’s huge investments in Britain and advised Nero to lower the rates of interest to a reasonable level to enhance his own reputation. Nero decided that usury did not befit an Emperor and abolished the payment of interest completely to help Britain on to her feet.
This measure alone raised the value of my British inheritance, for the taxes were also lowered. To my delight I was the first to be able to inform the King of the Icenis of this matter and hence acquired an excellent reputation in Britain and because of this was later elected to the Senate committee for British affairs. On the committee I brought about much which was useful to both the Britons and myself.
To handle my property there, I was forced to summon my cleverest freedmen from Caere and send them to Britain to make the cultivation of the land there profitable in the Roman way and fatten good cattle which could be sold to the legions. Later on, they married respected British women, were extremely successful and ended as governors in Lu-gundanum, the town I had founded in memory of my British wife.
The agriculture and cattle-raising they managed brought in great profits until envious neighbors learned to imitate them. This part of my fortune had nevertheless always done very well indeed, even with my freedmen’s share of the profits deducted. I do not think they cheated me very much, although they both became extremely rich in a very short time. I had trained diem to follow my own example in business. Honesty, within sensible and reasonable limits, is always the best policy compared with shortsighted policies which may bring in immediate profits.
Thus I could declare property in Britain as well as Italy when it came to my appointment as senator. In this way I became a senator, as Claudia wished. And nothing was said against me, other than that I was not of the prescribed age. To this remark the Senate laughed loudly, for there had been so many exceptions to the age-limit rule in the past that die whole matter had lost its significance. In addition, everyone knew what the speaker had wished to bring up against me but did not dare. At Nero’s suggestion, I was more or less unanimously appointed to the high office of senator. I did not bother to remember who had voted against me, for one of them came smiling up to me after the meeting and explained that it is always best for the authority of the Senate that less important suggestions by the Emperor did not receive unanimous support. This I did remember with gratitude.
I have told you so many details of what happened in connection with the Pisonian conspiracy, not to defend myself-for I have no reason to do that-but to postpone for as long as possible what is most painful. You will no doubt guess that I mean Antonia. The tears come to my eyes still, after all these years, when I think of her fate.
Soon after Piso’s suicide, Nero put Antonia’s house on Palatine under guard. He had heard from all too many quarters that Antonia had agreed to follow the usurper to the Praetorian camp. There was even a rumor going around that Piso had promised to divorce his wife and marry Antonia when he became Emperor, but I thought I knew better, as long as Antonia, from love of myself and thought for your future, did not eventually consider such a marriage necessary for political reasons.
I was allowed only one more night with Antonia. That night cost me a million sesterces, the price of the guards’ fear of Nero and Tigellinus. But I was more than glad to give this sum of money. What does money mean against love and passion? I should gladly have given all my possessions to have been able to save Antonia’s life. Or at least a very large part of my possessions. But it could not be done.
During that night of melancholy we seriously planned to abandon everything and attempt to flee together to India, where I had business connections. But it was too far away. We saw that we should soon be caught, for Antonia’s features were known to every Roman, even in the provinces, because of the many statues of her, and no disguise would hide her noble figure for long.
Weeping and embracing, we relinquished all false hopes. Antonia assured me tenderly that she would die bravely and gladly, because for once in her life she had experienced true love. She admitted openly that she had thought of approving me as her consort, if destiny had so wished it, after Claudia had died in some way or other. This assurance of hers is the greatest honor I have ever received in my life. I do not think I am doing wrong in telling you. I do not want to boast about it; simply to show you that she really did love me.
During our last night she talked long and feverishly, telling me of her childhood and her uncle, Sejanus-who, she said, was to have made Claudius Emperor if he had managed to murder Tiberius and get the support of the Senate. Then Rome would have escaped the terrible reign of Gaius Caligula. But fate wished otherwise, and Antonia admitted that Claudius had not then been mature enough to rule. He did nothing but play dice, drink and drive Antonia’s mother to the verge of bankruptcy.