Because the not knowing killed me.
“Delyla, Kenadi’s here,” Mom called upstairs.
“Coming.” With one last glance in the mirror, I grabbed my school bag, and slipped my ballet flats on.
Kenadi stood in the kitchen, eating a muffin Mom had given her. “Ready?”
“Yep.” I gave Mom a kiss goodbye and took the store bought muffin she handed me.
“Have a good day sweetie.”
“Don’t worry, she will.” Kenadi grinned as we raced out the door.
When we got in her car, I turned to her. “I’m a nervous wreck. Do you realize I changed my outfit like six times this morning? I never do that.”
“You’ll be fine. Just take a deep breath. Don’t freak out. You and Trey have been friends forever. It’s not like you’re gonna be talking to a stranger.”
“But that’s the problem. I don’t want to destroy our friendship.” I peeled the wrapper off my blueberry muffin and took a bite. “What if I don’t say the right thing?”
We backed out of my driveway and onto the main road. I watched the line of manicured lawns and cookie-cutter houses as we drove to the end of my street.
“Just say whatever comes to mind. And be honest with him.”
“What if he rejects me?” I wiped crumbs off my jeans.
“Then he’s an idiot.” Kenadi slid her gaze to me. “You’re awesome and if he doesn’t see that then he doesn’t deserve you.”
I smiled. “And this is why you’re my best friend. You always talk me down.”
“Ditto.”
When we got to school, I sucked in a deep breath, smoothed down my shirt, and walked inside. Now, I just needed to find Trey. Well, if I could peel Portia away long enough to have a conversation with him.
But when I got to my locker, I saw Portia already glued to his side. Damn. Okay, new plan. After I grabbed my books for first period, I headed toward Trey.
When he saw me, he smiled. “Del, what’s up?”
“Do you think I could talk to you during lunch for a few minutes?” I said, trying hard to ignore Portia. Guilt gnawed at my insides. Maybe I shouldn’t go through with this.
“Is everything okay?” His arm dropped away from her shoulders.
“Um—yeah, I-I’m fine. If you can’t talk, that’s fine. I can always stop by after school or something.”
His gaze met mine. “No, it’s fine. We can meet by the band room before lunch.”
“All right. I’ll see you then.”
For the next few hours, I couldn’t concentrate. My mind reeled with bits of conversation I wanted to have with Trey. I thought about the best case scenarios, where he admitted he loved me too. Then I considered how he’d reject me. By the time fourth period ended, my stomach was tied up in knots. My pulse roared in my ears.
I stopped by my locker and dropped my books off. You can do this. Just tell him the truth. I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans. My teeth grazed my bottom lip and I chewed at the dead skin. When I got to the band room, I found Trey waiting outside the door, in a small alcove to the side.
“Hey,” he called when he saw me. “So what’s going on?”
It’s now or never, girl. Go for it. My heart jumped against my chest like an erratic kangaroo. Any moment now, I expected it to burst through my skin. I raised my eyes until they met his.
“I’ve started this conversation in my head like a million times. And hopefully I don’t sound crazy,” I said. “The thing is—well, I, I … ” Oh God. Come on mind. Don’t fail me now. You are Delyla Denson. You’re fabulous. And you can do this. Now get it together. “I like you Trey.” I swallowed hard. “I mean, really like you as in—I love you,” I whispered.
His eyes widened and he stood there a second as if processing what I’d just said. Trey ran a hand through his hair, squeezed his eyes shut and let out a long breath.
“Please. Say something.” My insides coiled as the silence dragged on. I turned my gaze to the lace at the bottom of my cami and I gripped it between my fingers. This wasn’t going quite the way I’d planned.
“Why now? Why do you wait until now to have feelings?”
“It’s not like I chose to be inconvenient,” I said. “I didn’t realize it until after we started the Romeo Club.”
His eyes shot open and he gave a forced, cold laugh. “I have a girlfriend, Delyla.”
“I know. Trust me. I didn’t plan on this to happen. But that night you kissed me, I felt this spark. And it’s all I’ve been able to think about. If I’m being honest though, I started to notice things before then. Like how much we have in common. How you’re always there for me when I need you. The dorky grin you get when you beat a level on Dwarves of Iconia.” I twisted the edge of my sweater in my hand. “How your eyes light up when you’re talking about a math equation, or the excitement in your voice after acing a test. I-I don’t know why it took me so long to see you. But I see you now. And I want to know if you feel the same.”
He frowned. “Damn it, Del. You know how long I crushed on you? Years. I spent years, trying to get your attention. But you never noticed. Not once.”
My head shot up. “Wait. You have a crush on me?”
“Had. You know how frustrating it was to be right in front of you and not have you see me?”
“But I didn’t know.”
“How could you not? I offered you rides to school every day before you got your license. I came to all your soccer games, whether Drake or your family went or not. God, I even bought you gifts for your birthday and flowers for Valentine’s Day. Guys don’t do that for girls they want to be just friends with.”
My mouth went dry. “But you never said anything. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I tried. You know how many times I tried to tell you? But you always had somewhere else you wanted to be or someone else you wanted to be around. So I gave up.”
“If I would’ve known … ”
“You would’ve done what? You had a boyfriend. And apparently I wasn’t what you wanted.”
“But I want you now.” My voice cracked. Tears welled in my eyes. “You’re all I’ve thought about. And I’ve tried to tell you that I liked you, but every time I started someone interrupted.”
“But you didn’t want me until I got a girlfriend. Until I wasn’t available anymore.” He paced the alcove. “I can’t believe that you’d do this to me. Put me on the spot like this. You choosing to do this right now is horrible. You asked to talk to me right in front of my girlfriend this morning. Knowing full well you’d be asking me to break up with her.”
My eyes snapped up and I glowered. “I’m being horrible? You’re the one who wanted me to teach you how to kiss when you were dating Portia. Not to mention, you’re the one who paid me to help you get a girlfriend. So if we want to have a discussion about morals, why don’t we start there?”
He fists clenched at his side as he moved closer to me. “I like Portia.”
I snorted. “The only thing you knew about her when we started this was that she’s pretty. You didn’t know her favorite color. You didn’t know her favorite flower. Hell, you didn’t even know who her best friend is. Or let’s talk about the fact that any information you found out about her was because I told you. How can you “love” someone you don’t even know? If it wasn’t for my help you wouldn’t have even had a chance with her. You. Paid. Me. To help you land her.”
A gasp sounded behind us. Oh shit. I spun to find Portia standing there.
“You paid her?” Her lip quivered as she stared at Trey.
“It’s not what you think.”
“I-I can’t believe you did that.” She turned and rushed down the hall.
Trey glared at me. “See what you’ve done? You ruined everything.” He raced after Portia.