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“This should be fun.” Drake glanced at me. “Too bad I won’t be around to witness this catastrophe.”

Trey kicked his chair, sending him tumbling to the floor. With that, I left the family room. When I got upstairs, I found Kenadi had messaged me a list of things she knew about Portia. I added them to my notebook. Saturday would definitely be interesting. Hopefully, I survived the Nerd Herds’ introduction to the real world. But if what transpired downstairs was evidence, we were in serious trouble.

Chapter 6

C.C’s station wagon bounced over the potholes as he took the curve too fast, sending me sliding into Trey, who sat beside me in the backseat.

“Geez, are you trying to kill us?” I attempted to reposition myself, thankful that I had a seatbelt. The, circa 1960, car smelled like his dad’s spicy aftershave. The olive green interior reminded me of baby crap and squashed peas. Not a great combo. But he’d volunteered to drive, which saved the rest of us gas money. Although, at the moment, I regretted not footing the bill and taking my car, if only to prolong my life an extra day.

“You can walk if you want,” C.C. said. “Or maybe you’d like to come sit on my lap and help me steer.” He grinned in the rearview mirror.

“I know where I’m about ready to shove that stick shift,” I said.

Trey nudged me. “Do you really want to go there?”

“Good point.”

At last, the mall came into view. The most glorious thing I’d seen in the last half hour. C.C. slowed down and attempted to pull his boat of a car into a narrow space.

“We’re not gonna fit,” Drake said from the passenger seat.

My fingers dug into the seat as I braced myself for the worst. Please don’t let us crash.

“Yes, we will. Besides, I don’t want to have to park in the back lot. You know how far of a walk that is?” C.C. attempted to cram the station wagon in. When he realized how close we were, he backed up and tried again. This time he managed to get between the yellow lines.

Trey opened his door a crack and that was as wide as he could get it. “Um—was it your intention to hold us hostage in your car?”

C.C. threw his door open, hitting the car next to us. But he couldn’t squeeze out.

“Okay, everyone will have to crawl out the back tailgate door,” he said.

“Or we could find another spot,” I said.

When C.C. made no move to start the car, I sighed, undid my seatbelt, then spun in my seat and crawled over. With my midsection up in the air, I felt something hit my butt.

“Ow, watch it,” C.C. said.

“That better not have been your hand.” I glanced over my shoulder to see his head by my backside.

“Nope, it was his face.” Drake laughed. “Now would be a great time to let one rip.”

I hurried over the seat and landed in the back with a thump. Not wanting anyone else to touch my butt or any other part of me, I threw the back door open and practically rolled out. “I sure hope no one I know sees me like this.”

Trey plopped out next and wiped off his khaki pants. “Yeah, this probably isn’t doing much for our image. We would’ve looked better riding bikes.”

“Keep complaining and you’ll walk home.” C.C. crawled from the green beast, followed by Drake and Kevin.

Once we shut the door we headed into the mall. “Okay, first thing we’re gonna do is get you some new clothes.” My gaze swept over their outfits, which included khakis, dress shirts, loafers and C.C.’s horrendous brown turtleneck, which made him look like a head coming out of turd. I felt like I was in some sixties or seventies cartoon. Seriously, did his grandma dress him this morning?

We made our way up the escalator and to the first store. Rock music pulsed from overhead, while salespeople stood back, observing us like a pack of lions on a safari. Designer cologne wafted in the air. I scoured the jean racks for the guys’ sizes then started handing the clothes to them.

“Holy crap, how many pairs of these do I have to try on?” Kevin wrinkled his nose.

“They’re different brands, so we need to see what fits. If we find one you like, we can search for more colors and designs.” They acted like they’d never been shopping before. As I glanced over my shoulder at their current clothing choices, I realized maybe they hadn’t.

The Nerd Herd followed me as I went through the shirt racks to find T-shirts and polos, tossing numerous colored garments into their arms. After they each had several outfits in hand, I led them to the changing rooms.

Drake leaned against the wall, while we waited for the others to come out and show off their clothes. “I’m glad I don’t have to go through this again.”

I rolled my eyes. “Need I remind you of how successful your image change was?”

“Nope. I already know.”

“So why did you come today?”

“Moral support. And I need to pick up some cologne for my date tonight.”

Right, this was symphony night for him and Chloe. And technically his first date if you didn’t count the band room thing.

My eyes roamed over the fake palm trees displayed around the store, along with surfboards, which indicated what section we were in. Beach balls hung from strings above our heads, swinging back and forth beneath the forced air coming from the vents overhead.

Trey was the first to step out of his room. My breath caught in my throat. The tight blue T-shirt brought out his tan and showed off sculpted biceps I didn’t realize he had until now. Not to mention his brilliant shade of sky colored eyes. The jeans sat against his narrow hips and fit better than the khakis he normally wore.

“So is this an improvement?”

I swallowed hard. “Yeah. Like 100%. You should definitely get the outfit.”

He smiled. “Look out Portia, here I come.”

“Portia and every other girl.”

The others came out with different outfits on as well. C.C. of course did a runway walk and spun around, throwing his butt out at an obnoxious angle as he swayed his hips.

Kevin stood back as if attempting to avoid my scrutiny. But before I could say anything about his outfit, the saleslady popped over.

“Wow, that color of green looks great on you,” she said to Kevin.

His face turned crimson and he tugged his beanie down over his brown hair again, a nervous habit we’d have to break. “Um … th-thanks.” With that, he rushed back to his room.

Trey finished his shopping first and stood beside me as we waited for the others to get done.

“Still can’t believe I’m doing this.” He ran a hand through his brown hair. “I mean, really doing this.”

Just then C.C. burst from his room wearing only his tighty-whiteys. “See, this is what the ladies are missing.”

I shielded my eyes. “Dear God, put some clothes on.”

Trey snickered then tapped me on the arm. “But then the ladies wouldn’t get to see those pasty legs and non-existent abs. Wait, is that a hair I see on your chest?”

“Sir, you can’t come out of the changing rooms like that.” One of the attendants raced toward us.

Great, if he kept this up, we’d get kicked out of the store. And I’d never be able to shop here again. I mean, I had a reputation to uphold.

When C.C. went back into the dressing area, I uncovered my face. “At least we might have a suspect in the great ‘Mom’s missing bra’ caper.”

“Yeah, I bet he’s got it under the seat of the car.” Trey nudged me with his elbow.

“Ew. I think I just threw up in my mouth.” I pushed away from the wall and gazed out the windows into the main area of the mall. There, standing directly across from the store I was in, was Rex. “Oh crap.” I dropped down to my knees, hiding myself in front of a mannequin.