“Be silent. You love none but the King. This is what he will demand. You are his subject, remember. He has singled you out for great honors. You must be worthy of them.” She drew me to her, half-pleading, half-threatening. “Katherine, you have come too far. You cannot go back now. The King has chosen you. What greater honor could there be than that? You must accept what life offers you. Think of all those who, were they in your position, would be rejoicing in their good fortune.”
I said slowly: “The Queen rejoiced to be free of him.”
“He did not love her. If he had, she would have been the happiest woman in the country. Now … that is for someone else.”
“I wish,” I began. “Oh, how I wish …”
“You will have nothing to fear. Think of it. Queen of England. The King’s much loved Queen, who only has to be as she is, and is sure to please him. You need have no fear. I shall be at hand to help you, and there is your uncle. He will tell you exactly what you have to do. So … as I say, there is nothing to fear … unless, of course, you play the fool and throw away good fortune by prattling of love for this and that one. Listen to me, Katherine. That did not happen. You must put all thought of it from your mind and do as you are told by your uncle and me … and so please the King. You cannot be blamed for what happened in the past.”
I kept thinking of Derham in the Maids’ Chamber, where we had rolled on the floor and made merry, until my grandmother had come in and found us.
There was so much of the past which I wanted to forget, and now I was overwhelmed by the confirmation of that which had haunted me for some time, and while evidence had pointed to the fact that there must be some truth in it, I could not entirely believe it.
The manner in which the King had noticed me should have made me realize the truth. I was not, as he believed, an inexperienced girl. I had seen the expression in his eyes, as I had in those of others. It was merely because he was the King that I had not accepted what it really meant. I had thought of myself as insignificant Katherine Howard, accepted at Court because I was the niece of the Duke of Norfolk.
The glittering prospect was now revealed to me. The King—the much-married King—had chosen me.
I remembered all the excitement there had been when his desire had fallen on my cousin, and how it had brought our family into closer connection with royalty—which seemed to be the ambition of everyone at Court.
I was flattered, and on the other hand alarmed. I kept thinking of the poor Queen, who had fainted with fear when the King’s commissioners came to talk to her and then had nearly fainted again, this time with joy, because she discovered he wanted her to be his sister instead of his wife.
But he liked me. He liked my simple ways. He had never shown any anger toward me, not even that tetchiness which my uncle could sometimes arouse in him. He had smiled at my simplicity and liked me the better for it. He might frighten others, but he had always been very kind to me. And he was the King.
My grandmother was smiling at me now. “Your cheek is a little red,” she said.
“That is because you slapped it.”
“Ah, you are not the Queen yet, child, and I did it for your good. Never … never speak to the King of Thomas Culpepper … nor … that other.”
“I will not,” I said. “It is past and done with.”
“You cannot be blamed for what was done so long ago,” she said, frowning deeply, and I had the idea that she was trying to convince herself.
“Is this thing really true?” I said. “How can you be sure?”
“The King has spoken to your uncle.”
“But do you think he really means it?”
“Of course he means it, child. It is a serious matter. Let me tell you this. Your uncle is very pleased with you.”
“It will be the first time he ever has been.”
“He is proud of you. You must always remember to do what he tells you. Now, we must compose ourselves. The King will be here at any moment. I hear sounds from below. It means the barge will be at the privy stairs.”
There was brief pause while my grandmother studied me, patting my hair and looking anxiously at my cheek.
“You are flushed,” she said. “That is quite becoming. It hides the mark on your cheek. Now … remember. Be yourself. Ask for nothing. Be natural. Be surprised.”
“How can I, when you have already told me?”
“Heed that not. Show yourself overwhelmed by the honor.”
“I am overwhelmed,” I said.
The Duchess nodded, smiling.
My uncle came into the room. He looked at me with more affection than he had ever shown me before—or anyone for that matter I thought rather frivolously, which was strange at such a moment, except perhaps the laundress, Bess Holland. I supposed he was already seeing the crown on the head of another Howard.
“Well,” he said, “you have heard of the honor which is about to come to you.”
“Yes, Your Grace.”
“That is well. Indeed, you have pleased us all. I know you have little knowledge of worldly matters. That is in your favor. His Majesty will not want to be plagued with women’s arguments. All you have to do is to be as you are. It is this which has won his regard. Now he is impatient. I will conduct you to his presence.”
I followed him into one of the smaller rooms where the King was waiting. He was standing by the window, his hands clasped behind his back. He looked larger than ever in his padded surcoat; and there was a large ruby at his throat.
“My niece, Mistress Katherine Howard, Your Majesty,” said my uncle, pushing me ahead of him.
The King was smiling, his little eyes brilliant. He regarded me with fondness. I would have knelt, but he laid his hand on my shoulders and drew me toward him.
“You may leave us, Norfolk,” he said to my uncle, who immediately bowed and obeyed.
“You are not shy of the King, Katherine,” he said. “I think you care not as some would for the honors I am about to give you. I think perhaps you have more regard for my person than for those. Tell me, is that so?”
“Oh yes, Your Majesty.”
“You please me very much, Katherine. In fact, so much that I want you to be my Queen.”
I believed he was waiting for me to go down on my knees in an ecstasy of joy and thank him. That would be difficult for me to do, and I remembered the injunctions to be myself, so I murmured: “Your Majesty cannot…”
“Katherine, there is little the King cannot do if he sets his heart on it. And this I tell you. The matter I am here to speak of is my will, and I will allow none to gainsay me. Katherine, you have pleased me greatly, and I am going to make you my Queen.”
“But Your Majesty …” In spite of my grandmother’s warning, I was on the point of telling him of my betrothal to Thomas, but he had silenced me.
“No buts,” he said. “I will have none … not even from you, sweet Katherine. You are overwhelmed, I know. You did not think this could be so. Now tell me, did you?”
“No, Your Majesty. I …”
He laughed and said tenderly: “You are over-modest… as a maiden should be. You cannot believe this good fortune which has come to you. I like that. But let me tell you this: it shall be so.”
There was something in his demeanor which told me he would be very angry if I confessed my feelings and my proposed betrothal to Thomas, and that the anger might be directed not only against me but Thomas too.
“My dearest little Katherine,” he was saying, “think only on this. I shall raise you up to be my Queen.”
I did not know what to say. My feelings were so mixed. I … to be the Queen! Honored throughout the Court! It was such a dazzling prospect that it was as though it blinded me. All those who had been faintly contemptuous of me would now bow the knee and call me Majesty. It made me want to laugh. That was hysteria, I imagined. And Thomas? Oh, Thomas, I thought, we should have been so happy at Hollingbourne. I could see clearly that there was no choice for me. This glittering and powerful King had decided my fate. And so had my uncle. They had done it between them. I could see that I should never marry Thomas.