I grab his shoulders and shake him again. Finally I hear footsteps. A beam of light knifes through the fog and I can see a medic-two of them rushing toward me.
In a second they're close enough for me to see their faces. But when the beams of their flashlights finally cross Charlie's body, I can hear one of them say, Oh, Jesus.
Are you hurt? the other says to me, padding at my chest with his hands.
I stare back at him, uncomprehending. Then, as I look down at the circle of my stomach lit by his flashlight, I understand. The water sprayed across Charlie's chest wasn't water at all. I'm covered in his blood.
Both of the EMTs are with him now, trying to raise him up. A third medic arrives and tries to move me, but I fight him off, trying to stay at Charlie's side. Slowly I feel myself beginning to slip away. In the heat and the darkness, I'm losing my hold on reality. A pair of hands guides me out of the tunnels, and I see the two officers, with two other policemen behind them now, all watching as the ambulance team drags me above ground.
The last thing I remember is the look on the proctor's face as he stands there, watching me rise from the darkness, bloody from my face to the tips of my fingers. At first he looks relieved, to see me stumble out of the wreckage. Then his expression changes, and the relief disappears from his eyes, as he realizes the blood isn't mine.
Chapter 20
I come to my senses in a bed at Princeton Medical Center several hours after the accident. Paul is sitting beside me, glad to see me awake, and a policeman is standing outside the door. Someone has changed me into a paper gown that crunches like a diaper when I sit up. There is blood beneath my fingernails, dark as dirt, and there's a familiar smell in the air, something I remember from my old hospital past. The smell of sickness mopped over with disinfectant. The smell of medicine.
Tom? Paul says.
I prop myself up to face him, but pain shoots through my arm.
Careful, he says, leaning over. The doctor says you injured your shoulder.
Now, as I'm becoming more aware, I can feel pain beneath the bandage. What happened to you down there?
It was stupid. I just reacted. I couldn't get back to Charlie once the pipe exploded. All of the steam was coming in my direction. I came back through the nearest exit and the police drove me here.
Where's Charlie?
In the emergency room. They won't let anyone see him.
His voice has gone flat. After rubbing at his eye, he glances out the door. An old woman skids past in a wheelchair, nimble as a kid in a go-cart. The cop watches her, but doesn't smile. There's a little yellow sandwich board on the tile floor that says CAUTION: WET SURFACE.
Is he okay? I ask.
Paul keeps his eyes on the door. I don't know. Will said he was right beside the broken pipe when they found him.
Will?
Will Clay, Charlie's friend. Paul places a hand on the rail of the bed. He pulled you out.
I try to think back, but all I remember are silhouettes in the tunnels, lit up around the edges by flashlights.
He and Charlie switched shifts when you guys went looking for me, Paul adds.
There's a great sadness in his voice. He traces this all back to himself.
Do you want me to call Katie and tell her you're here? he asks.
I shake my head, wanting to feel more grounded first. I'll call her later.
The old woman rolls past a second time, and now I spot the cast on her left leg, running from her knee to her toes. Her hair is mussed, and her pants are rolled up above the knee, but there's a twinkle in her eyes, and she gives the officer a defiant smile when she passes by, as if it's a law she's broken, rather than a bone. Charlie told me once that geriatric patients are relieved sometimes to take a little fall, or have a minor illness. Losing a battle reminds them that they're still winning the war. I am struck suddenly by Charlie's absence, by the emptiness where I expect to hear his voice.
He must've lost a lot of blood, I say,
Paul looks at his hands. In the silence, I can hear wheezing across the partition between my bed and the next. Just then, a doctor enters the room. The officer at the door touches the elbow of her white lab coat, and when she stops, the two of them exchange quiet words.
Thomas? she says, coming to the bedside with a clipboard and a frown.
Yes?
I'm Dr. Jansen. She walks to the opposite side of the bed to examine my arm. How are you feeling?
Fine. How's Charlie doing?
She prods my shoulder a little, just enough to make me squirm. I don' know. He's been in the ER since he got here.
I'm not clearheaded enough to know what it means that she recognize: Charlie by his first name.
Will he be okay?
It's too early to tell, she says, without looking up.
When can we see him? Paul asks.
One thing at a time, she says, placing a hand between my back and the pillow, then raising me up. How does this feel?
Fine.
And this?
She presses two fingers over my collarbone.
Fine.
The poking continues across my back, elbow, wrist, and head. She tries the stethoscope for good measure, then finally sits back. Doctors are like gamblers, always looking for the right combinations. Patients are like slot machines: twist their arms long enough and you're bound to hit the jackpot.
You're lucky it wasn't worse, she says. There's no fracture, but the soft tissue is bruised. You'll feel it when the painkiller wears off. Ice it twice a day for a week, then you'll have to come back so we can take another look.
She has an earthy smell to her, like sweat and soap. I wait for her to pull out a prescription pad, remembering the cabinet of drugs I collected after the car accident, but she doesn't.
There's someone outside who'd like to talk to you, she tells me instead.
For a second, because she says it so pleasantly, I imagine a friend out in the hall-Gil maybe, returned from the eating clubs, or even my mother, flown in from Ohio. Suddenly, I'm unsure how much time has passed since they dragged me out of the ground.
But a different face appears in the doorway, one I've never seen before. Another woman, but not a doctor, and definitely not my mother. She's heavyset and short, tucked into a round black skirt down to her calves, and opaque black stockings. A white blouse and red suit-jacket give her a maternal air, but my first thought is that she's a university administrator.
The doctor and the woman exchange a look, then switch places, one leaving as the other comes. The black-stockinged woman stops short of the bed and makes a gesture to Paul, beckoning him over. They have a conversation out of earshot-then, unexpectedly, he asks if I'm okay, waits for me to nod, and walks out with another man standing near the door.
Officer, the woman says, would you close that behind you?
To my surprise he nods and shuts the door, leaving us alone.
The woman waddles over to the bedside, pausing to glance at the bed beyond the curtain.
How are you feeling, Tom? She sits down in the chair where Paul was, making it disappear. She has squirrelly cheeks. When she talks, they seem full of nuts.
Not so good, I say warily. I tilt my right side toward her, showing her the bandage.
Can I get you anything?
No, thanks.
My son was here last month, she says absently, searching for something in her jacket pocket. Appendectomy.
I'm just about to ask who she is, when she pulls a little leather wallet out of her breast pocket. Tom, I'm Detective Gwynn. I'd like to talk to you about what happened today.
She unfolds the wallet to show me her badge, then flips it back in her pocket.
Where's Paul?
Speaking with Detective Martin. I'd like to ask you some questions about William Stein. Do you know who he was?
He died last night.
He was killed. She lets a silence punctuate the last word. Did any of your roommates know him?
Paul did. They worked together at the Institute for Advanced Study.