Part of him had known that’s all he was going to get from her, but the words still stung. Disappointment pounded in his chest, the ache of reality spreading through him, slow and steady.
“What if I want more?”
“You can’t have more,” she said. She shook her head, her hands fiddling with the strap of her bra. “I can’t have more, either. That’s not how it works.”
“I don’t understand. We’re two adults who like each other and we had an incredible night together.” He frowned. “Unless you’re going to tell me I’m wrong?”
“No, it was incredible. It was thrilling and amazing and the best sex I’ve ever had.”
“Then what’s with the runaway act?”
“That’s exactly the point, Des. It was good sex—no, it was great sex—but that doesn’t mean it’s anything more. It doesn’t mean we can sustain things for longer than a night.”
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you were the one who was worried about being a one-night stand, and now you’re telling me that’s all this is?” He raked a hand through his hair, his temple throbbing like a drumbeat.
“You said we were right for now.” She turned, obscuring the panic in her eyes, and hurried towards his bedroom door.
Following, Des threw his hands up in frustration. “‘For now’ doesn’t mean one night only. It means we’ll see where it goes.”
“I know where it goes, Des.” She stalked into the living room and found her shirt and jeans where they had landed on the floor the night before. “I’ve been down that road before.”
“Enlighten me, Gracie.”
He watched as she fumbled with the zipper on her jeans, her hands shaking as she hurried. “It ends with us discovering that we’re not right for each other, except instead of having the memories of one great night we have a world of pain and anger and resentment to get through.”
“Why aren’t we right for each other?”
Déjà vu swirled to life in Des’s mind. He’d been here before—he’d had this conversation before, except he’d been the one running away, and it had ended with a diamond ring being thrown at him. His grandmother’s diamond ring, the one he’d been so sure would be on the hand of the woman he loved forever. They hadn’t even made it down the aisle.
Memories of the last time he saw his ex-fiancée flickered before his eyes. Her Queen’s Counsel father hated the fact that his daughter was engaged to a blue-collar boy whose mother spoke broken English. Des had been the one to call it quits in the end because he couldn’t put up with the constant criticism.
Haven’t you learned anything? Listen to her, she’s right. This is a disaster waiting to happen. You had great sex, now move on.
“We’re too different,” she said. “Our lives are too different.”
“Why? Because I work with my hands and you work with your head?”
“It’s more than that.”
“Tell me what it is.” It would have been better if he’d let her go, but he had to hear it. He wanted to torture himself with her words, wanted the sharp slice of her judgement to cut into him, to teach him a lesson.
Maybe then it would be easier to be without her.
“Well…” She chewed on her lip and smoothed a hand over her hair, unable to tame it into shape. “You’re at First til all hours and I’m always up early. We’d never see each other. We’d never spend time together.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it.”
“We don’t have anything in common.”
“Not true. We both enjoy food and wine. You’re starting to enjoy dancing.”
Her lips pulled into a ghost of a smile. “We’re from different worlds.”
And there it was, the truth.
“My family is so uptight, so traditional. They’re stuck on these stupid ideas about how I should live my life.” She twisted a strand of hair in her fingers. “I’ve already lost someone I cared about because I tried to ignore our differences. It doesn’t work.”
“You’re worried they’ll think I’m not good enough for you.”
The realization that Gracie held exactly the same prejudice as his ex made his blood boil. He’d known it deep down, but to hear it out loud was another thing entirely. He was good enough and he certainly wasn’t going to settle for someone who didn’t see that.
She didn’t have to respond. The flame in her cheeks and the shame that pulled her eyes to the floor was enough to confirm his suspicions.
“Des.” She spoke his name as though it were a sigh, a question, an apology.
“What, Gracie?” His voice was more solid than his thoughts, thankfully.
“I’m sorry.”
“Really?” He folded his arms, too, mostly so they wouldn’t act of their own accord.
She bit her lip. There were no fancy words, none of the snappy banter that he’d come to expect from her. “Yes.”
“And why is that?” He should tell her to leave because it would be the smart thing to do. But that stupid, stubborn, idealistic part of him—the part he denied over and over—wanted to hear her out.
“I treated you badly. I shouldn’t have come to you last night knowing where it would go. I got caught up in the moment….”
Most guys would be thrilled for a gorgeous, sensual woman to offer their bodies without a demand for commitment. When it came to Gracie, he wanted more. He’d wanted her to at least stay the morning after, to talk to him and see if there was something between them. To give them a chance.
He hadn’t wanted to watch her run out of his bedroom like a bat out of hell, bruising his ego and making him feel that all too familiar sting of shame that he’d been judged yet again.
“It was wrong of me, I know that.” She wrung her hands, swallowing before she spoke again. “You deserve so much better.”
“Yes, I do.” He nodded, the chill in his tone deliberate and designed to push her away. “The ironic thing is you were worried that I would treat you like a one-night stand.”
She winced.
“And then you up and leave like we’d slept together just for the sake of it.” He could feel the rise of emotion within him, the quickening of his pulse, the heat that burned from his stomach and up into his chest. “I don’t fuck for the sake of it, Gracie.”
“I know.” She shook her head, her hair scattering around her shoulders. “I never thought it was gratuitous.”
“That’s because it wasn’t. I feel something for you, Gracie,” he growled, the words tumbling out uncensored. “And you threw it in my face like I was another one of your random dates.”
He’d hit his mark. The shocked ‘o’ on her lips and the flare of her nostrils told him the words had stung in just the right place. Damn it, but he wanted to hurt her. He wanted her to experience the pain he felt deep in his chest, the ache he’d felt ever since the first day she sauntered into his restaurant with another man on her arm.
She sucked in a slow, shaky breath. “That’s unfair.”
“Is it?” He threw his hands up. “You bring guy after guy to my restaurant. None of them are good enough. Why would I think I’m any different?”
“You are different, Des,” she whispered.
“Clearly not different enough. Seeing as you’re so fond of rules, I’ve got another one for you: Don’t call me.”
Oh, how he wanted to throw it all aside and sweep her up into his arms. He’d never fallen this hard for a girl before, not even for his ex-fiancée. But he couldn’t accept her apology. He’d made a promise to himself the last time this happened—he was never going to let himself be anyone’s consolation prize.
And until she realized that he was good enough for her, he could never be with Gracie Greene.
“I’m going to shower,” he announced. “And when I get out I expect you to be gone.”