We both gazed out over the sea of gray-green, at the undulating waves of ground in the distance. On these rides with her I had learned to appreciate the beauty of the lonely reaches of plain.
But when I could look at her I seldom wasted time on scenery. Looking at her now I tried to get again that impression of a difference in her. It eluded me.
Just now with the rose in her brown cheeks, her hair flying, her eyes with grave instead of mocking light, she seemed only prettier than usual. I got down ostensibly to tighten the saddle girths on her horse. But I lingered over the task.
Presently, when she looked down at me, I received that subtle impression of change, and read it as her soft mood of dangerous sweetness that came so seldom, mingled with something deeper, more of character and womanliness than I had ever sensed in her.
“Russ, it wasn't nice to tell Diane that,” she said.
“Nice! It was—oh, I'd like to swear!” I ejaculated. “But now I understand my miserable feeling. I was jealous, Sally, I'm sorry. I apologize.”
She had drawn off her gloves, and one little hand, brown, shapely, rested upon her knee very near to me. I took it in mine. She let it stay, though she looked away from me, the color rich in her cheeks.
“I can forgive that,” she murmured. “But the lie. Jealousy doesn't excuse a lie.”
“You mean—what I intimated to your cousin,” I said, trying to make her look at me. “That was the devil in me. Only it's true.”
“How can it be true when you never asked—said a word—you hinted of?” she queried. “Diane believed what you said. I know she thinks me horrid.”
“No she doesn't. As for what I said, or meant to say, which is the same thing, how'd you take my actions? I hope not the same as you take Wright's or the other fellow's.”
Sally was silent, a little pale now, and I saw that I did not need to say any more about the other fellows. The change, the difference was now marked. It drove me to give in wholly to this earnest and passionate side of myself.
“Sally, I do love you. I don't know how you took my actions. Anyway, now I'll make them plain. I was beside myself with love and jealousy. Will you marry me?”
She did not answer. But the old willful Sally was not in evidence. Watching her face I gave her a slow and gentle pull, one she could easily resist if she cared to, and she slipped from her saddle into my arms.
Then there was one wildly sweet moment in which I had the blissful certainty that she kissed me of her own accord. She was abashed, yet yielding; she let herself go, yet seemed not utterly unstrung. Perhaps I was rough, held her too hard, for she cried out a little.
“Russ! Let me go. Help me—back.”
I righted her in the saddle, although not entirely releasing her.
“But, Sally, you haven't told me anything,” I remonstrated tenderly. “Do you love me?”
“I think so,” she whispered.
“Sally, will you marry me?”
She disengaged herself then, sat erect and faced away from me, with her breast heaving.
“No, Russ,” she presently said, once more calm.
“But Sally—if you love me—” I burst out, and then stopped, stilled by something in her face.
“I can't help—loving you, Russ,” she said. “But to promise to marry you, that's different. Why, Russ, I know nothing about you, not even your last name. You're not a—a steady fellow. You drink, gamble, fight. You'll kill somebody yet. Then I'llnot love you. Besides, I've always felt you're not just what you seemed. I can't trust you. There's something wrong about you.”
I knew my face darkened, and perhaps hope and happiness died in it. Swiftly she placed a kind hand on my shoulder.
“Now, I've hurt you. Oh, I'm sorry. Your asking me makes such a difference.They are not in earnest. But, Russ, I had to tell you why I couldn't be engaged to you.”
“I'm not good enough for you. I'd no right to ask you to marry me,” I replied abjectly.
“Russ, don't think me proud,” she faltered. “I wouldn't care who you were if I could only—only respect you. Some things about you are splendid, you're such a man, that's why I cared. But you gamble. You drink—and Ihate that. You're dangerous they say, and I'd be, I am in constant dread you'll kill somebody. Remember, Russ, I'm no Texan.”
This regret of Sally's, this faltering distress at giving me pain, was such sweet assurance that she did love me, better than she knew, that I was divided between extremes of emotion.
“Will you wait? Will you trust me a little? Will you give me a chance? After all, maybe I'm not so bad as I seem.”
“Oh, if you weren't! Russ, are you asking me to trust you?”
“I beg you to—dearest. Trust me and wait.”
“Wait? What for? Are you really on the square, Russ? Or are you what George calls you—a drunken cowboy, a gambler, sharp with the cards, a gun-fighter?”
My face grew cold as I felt the blood leave it. At that moment mention of George Wright fixed once for all my hate of him.
Bitter indeed was it that I dared not give him the lie. But what could I do? The character Wright gave me was scarcely worse than what I had chosen to represent. I had to acknowledge the justice of his claim, but nevertheless I hated him.
“Sally, I ask you to trust me in spite of my reputation.”
“You ask me a great deal,” she replied.
“Yes, it's too much. Let it be then only this—you'll wait. And while you wait, promise not to flirt with Wright and Waters.”
“Russ, I'll not let George or any of them so much as dare touch me,” she declared in girlish earnestness, her voice rising. “I'll promise if you'll promise me not to go into those saloons any more.”
One word would have brought her into my arms for good and all. The better side of Sally Langdon showed then in her appeal. That appeal was as strong as the drawing power of her little face, all eloquent with its light, and eyes dark with tears, and lips wanting to smile.
My response should have been instant. How I yearned to give it and win the reward I imagined I saw on her tremulous lips! But I was bound. The grim, dark nature of my enterprise there in Linrock returned to stultify my eagerness, dispel my illusion, shatter my dream.
For one instant it flashed through my mind to tell Sally who I was, what my errand was, after the truth. But the secret was not mine to tell. And I kept my pledges.
The hopeful glow left Sally's face. Her disappointment seemed keen. Then a little scorn of certainty was the bitterest of all for me to bear.
“That's too much to promise all at once,” I protested lamely, and I knew I would have done better to keep silence.
“Russ, a promise like that is nothing—if a man loves a girl,” she retorted. “Don't make any more love to me, please, unless you want me to laugh at you. And don't feel such terrible trouble if you happen to see me flirting occasionally.”
She ended with a little mocking laugh. That was the perverse side of her, the cat using her claws. I tried not to be angry, but failed.