‘So what changed your mind?’
‘A neighbour,’ said Oleg. ‘She lived in the apartment next to ours, and had seen every member of her family perish. She was a sweet, quiet soul who had endured just so much misery. The trauma of our existence left her vulnerable. Your grandmother helped her wherever possible, and once even shared a dead pigeon with her that we’d managed to find in the rubble. But, Ivan, her heart was broken. She had no will to survive. Weak beyond reason, it was a small mercy that her heart gave out in her sleep. We couldn’t just leave her corpse in the apartment. We had to do something, but at the same time we were desperate people. That morning we had forced down pebbles just to give our bellies something, so you can understand what led us to look at her body in a different light.’
‘Was it your idea?’ asked Ivan, who had been listening intently. ‘Or Granny’s?’
‘I could read her mind and she could read mine,’ answered Oleg, nodding at the same time. ‘It was as if an inner voice had awoken in us both, and it spoke so loud and clear that neither of us could ignore it. So, we made a joint decision. Your grandmother folded back the bed sheet and with my penknife we peeled off the thinnest layer of flesh from her thigh. Oh, Ivan, the moment moved me to tears. What I was doing felt so wrong and yet so necessary. The slither wasn’t enough to sustain either of us. We halved it, and on the count of three each placed what we had in our mouths. Several times we spat it out, and both of us wretched before we finally succeeded in washing it down our gullets with rain water. But once it settled in the stomach we soon went back for more. We were starving to death, Ivan, you have to remember that, so to be nourished at that time was to feel as if God Himself had fed us. I’ll never forget it. We were rejuvenated and elated, as if born again! My boy, there is something so special about human flesh that drives a man to devour until nothing more is left. Ever since, I look forward to that feeling each time we sit to feast.’
Ivan toyed with his controller.
‘When Granny died,’ he said finally. ‘Did you?’
‘A little.’ Oleg nodded. ‘Your father was only small at the time, but we both did so in her honour.’
‘I was too young to remember my first mouthful,’ he said. ‘But I wouldn’t give it up now.’
‘Just be careful,’ warned his grandfather. ‘One careless kill could mark the end of a family tradition that I hope outlives us all.’
Of all the suppers her mother could’ve cooked, on what was Sasha’s first meat-free day, it had to be pork chops. She could smell them from her bedroom, even with the door shut. Compared to human flesh, this was the next best thing. Her father often reminded them that pigs share ninety-eight per cent of the human genetic make-up, which explained why her mouth was so moist. Still, with exams looming, Sasha had revision to get through. It was a struggle, however. Just thinking about those prime cuts crackling and popping in the griddle pan wasn’t only a distraction. In view of her oath, it was torture.
‘When will we be eating?’ she asked, having drifted downstairs to the kitchen.
Angelica was at the hob, with little Katya in the high chair at a safe distance from the spitting oil. The toddler looked delighted to see her big sister, and gurgled when Sasha crossed to pet her.
‘Any time soon,’ said Angelica, and flipped a chop with her spatula. ‘The mash is ready. So, as soon as the peas come to the boil.’
‘Do we have any nuts?’ asked Sasha. ‘Cashews, perhaps. Or almonds?’
Her mother turned, spatula in hand, as if to check she had heard her correctly. ‘Nuts. You want nuts to go with the chops?’
‘Actually, I was thinking instead of the chops.’
Angelica turned the gas ring down by a notch.
‘What’s wrong? Are you ill? Something you’ve eaten?’
‘I’m fine,’ Sasha insisted, and focused her attention on playing with Katya’s curly locks. ‘I just thought nuts would be good.’
Angelica looked at how uncomfortable her daughter appeared and knew that there was more to this.
‘Sasha,’ she said calmly. ‘Your father isn’t home from work yet. You can talk to me. If there’s anything on your mind, I’m here.’
‘I know that.’ Sasha offered her finger for Katya to chew on. At the same time, the pan of peas on the hob came to the boil. The water frothed over the sides, which drew Angelica’s attention for a moment. Once she’d dealt with it, she turned back to Sasha, who knew she’d have to offer her something.
‘It’s just for a short time,’ she said to begin. ‘Mum, don’t freak out on me or anything, but I’m skipping meat for a little while. It’s for Jack. He asked me. We made a pact.’
Sasha held her mother’s gaze for what felt like an age. It only came to an end when Katya bit down on her finger a little too hard.
‘Be careful,’ Angelica said to her youngest daughter, but kept her eyes pinned on Sasha. ‘Your father thinks she’s ready, you know? The last of her teeth are coming through. We’re thinking soon it’ll be time for a welcoming feast.’
Sasha knew full well what she meant. All of a sudden she felt like some kind of traitor to the family.
‘This isn’t a permanent arrangement. By the time Katya’s big day comes, everything will be back to normal.’
‘So, how long do you plan to keep this up?’ asked Angelica, returning her attention to the pan.
‘Four weeks.’
“Four what?’ Sasha’s answer brought her mother round full circle. ‘You’re seriously thinking of no meat for a month?’
‘It isn’t like a lifetime. Not really.’
‘But why? What does this prove? And what could it do to you? You’ll turn anaemic or something. It can’t be good for your concentration at school.’
‘My concentration is fine. School is fine. This isn’t me going off the rails or anything.’
‘But it isn’t making me comfortable,’ replied Angelica all the same. ‘What ideas has this boy put into your head?’
Sasha examined her finger, which was still stinging. Kat hadn’t drawn blood, but she could see her teeth marks.
‘This isn’t really about Jack,’ she said. ‘As soon as he laid down the challenge, I began to think it was something I’d genuinely like to try. Just to see if I can, and what difference it would make. Seriously, going veggie for a while isn’t a big deal.’
‘It will be to your father.’
‘Does he have to know?’
Angelica returned to the business of preparing supper. She reached for the plates and began to lay them out.
‘He just called to say he was on his way home from the tube station,’ she said. ‘By the sound of it, he’s had a difficult day.’
‘All the more reason not to say anything,’ said Sasha, watching her mother as she began to lay out a scoop of mashed potato on each plate, followed by a sprinkling of peas. ‘Please, Mum. If he finds out now he’ll just put a stop to it without giving me a chance to find out what it’s like to do something, well… different.’
Angelica didn’t reply. Instead, reaching for the spatula, she transferred a pork chop to every plate but one. Sasha smiled in relief, and skipped to the cupboard when Angelica told her that’s where she’d find some nuts.
‘But you’ll have to eat quickly,’ she said. ‘I’m sure he won’t ask questions if he knows you’re using the time to revise.’
Sasha was already seated at the table when Angelica placed the plate in front of her. She looked up to thank her mother, but Angelica’s taut mouth told Sasha enough had been said. Instead, she picked up her knife and fork and began to eat. Without the chop, it just tasted like something was missing, but that was not the point. She could do this, she told herself. However things worked out with Jack, he’d introduced her to something she felt compelled to try. Sasha ate without speaking, keen to be finished before her dad returned home. She fully expected to hear the front door open at any time, so when the bell rang it came as a surprise.