"Huh. Well, that development obviously tears it." Malvern backed off cautiously, tugging at this last few zips and buckles on his stolen armor to assure an airtight seal. "I'll route you some advanced biomedical help … if there's any available in the local airspace." He cleared his throat with a sudden rasp of helmet-mounted speakers. "In any case, the sooner I clear out of here for civilization, the better."
All too soon, the sound of the departing entomopter had died away. After searching throught the carnage, pausing periodically as his spine and knees unhinged, Fearon located the still-breathing body of his beloved pig. Then he dragged the stretcher to an abandoned Jeep.
"And then Daddy smelled the pollution from civilization with his new nose, from miles away, so he knew he'd reached the island of Fernando Po, where the UN still keeps bases. So despite the tragic death of his best friend Malvern, Daddy knew that everything was going to be all right. Life would go on!"
Fearon was narrating his exploit to the embryo in Tupper's womb via a state-of-theart fetal interface, the GestaPhone. Seated on the comfy Laura Ashley couch in their bright new stilt house behind the dikes of Pensacola Beach, Tupper smiled indulgently at her husband's oft-polished tale.
"When the nice people on the island saw Daddy's credit cards, Daddy and Weeble were both quickly stabilized. Not exactly like we were before, mind you, but rendered healthy enough for the long trip back home to Miami. Then the press coverage started, and, well son, someday I'll tell you about how Daddy dealt with the challenges of fame and fortune."
"And wasn't Mommy glad to see Daddy again!" Tupper chimed in. "A little upset at first about the claws and fur. But luckily, Daddy and Mommy had been careful to set aside sperm samples while Daddy was still playing his scab games. So their story had a real happy ending when Daddy finally settled down and Baby Boy was safely engineered."
Fearon detached the suction cup terminal from Tupper's bare protuberant stomach. "Weeble, would you take these, please?"
The companionable pig reached up deftly, plucked the GestaPhones out of Fearon's grasp, and moved off with an awkward lope. Weeble's strange gait was due to his new forelimbs, a nifty pair of pig-proportioned human arms.
Tupper covered her womb with her frilled maternity blouse and glanced at the clock. "Isn't your favorite show on now?"
"Shucks, we don't have to watch every single episode.…"
"Oh, honey, I love this show, it's my favorite, now that I don't have to worry about you getting all caught up in it!"
They nestled on the responsive couch, Tupper stroking the fish-scaled patch on Fearon's cheek while receiving the absent-minded caresses of his long tigerish tail. She activated the big wet screen, cohering a close-up of Ribo Zombie in the height of a ferocious rant.
"Keeping it real, folks, still keeping it real! I make this challenge to all my fellow scabs, those who are down with the Zombie and those who dis him, those who frown on him and those who kiss him. Yes, you sorry posers all know who you are. But check this out—who am I?"
Fearon sighed for a world well lost. And yet, after all—there was always the next generation.
Glossary
1) entomopter, noun: a small flying vehicle whose wings employ elaborate, scissoring insectoid principles of movement, rather than avian ones; abbreviated as 'mopter.
2) ribo, adjective: all-purpose prefix derived from the transcriptive cellular organelle, the ribosome; indicative of bioengineering.
3) scab, noun: a biohacker.
4) otaku, noun: Japanese term for obsessive nerds, trivia buffs.
5) polysaccharide, noun: an organic polymer such as chitin.
6) familiar, noun: the customary modified-animal partner of a scab.
7) hot-tag, noun: clickable, animated icons.
8) jackalope, noun: the legendary antlered rabbit of Wyoming, now reified.
9) HVAC, noun: heating, ventilation, air-conditioning system.
10) wetware, noun: programmed organic components; software in living form.
11) clottage, noun: residence of a scab.
12) clump, verb: to enjoy meditative solitary downtime
13) uptaking, adjective: a term of scably approbation.
14) neoteric, adjective: a term of scably approbation.
15) duckback, noun: a water-resistant building material.
16) slowglass, noun: glass in which light moves at a radically different speed than it does elsewhere; term invented by Bob Shaw.
17) olivine, noun: a naturally occuring gemstone used as a building material.
18) HazMat, noun: hazardous materials.
19) jello, noun: culture and transport medium.
20) nutriceutical, noun: a foodstuff modified with various synthetic compounds meant to enhance mental or physical performance.
21) glorp, noun: an antibiological sterilizing agent used by swabs.
22) infodump, noun: large undigested portion of factoids.
23) Immunosance, noun: the Immunological Renaissance, the Genetic Age.
24) bioneer, noun: a bioengineering pioneer.
25) femto-injector, noun: a delivery unit capable of perfusing substances through various membranes without making a macroscopic entry wound.
26) buckybomb, noun: an explosive in a carbon buckminsterfullerene shell.
27) pliofilm, noun: all-purpose millipore wrap.
28) prestogurt, noun: instant yogurt modified to be a nutriceutical.
29) swab, noun: governmental and private agents of bioregulation; the cops; antagonists to every scab.
30) lookyloo, noun: a gaping bystander at a public spectacle, usually the cause of secondary accidents.
31) crittercam, noun: small audio-video transmitter mounted on animals.
32) Bose-Einstein condensate, noun: ultra-frigid state of matter.
33) extropian, noun, adjective: one who subscribes to a set of radical, wild-eyed optimistic prophecies regarding mankind's glorious high-tech future.
34) gel-drive, noun: organic data-storage unit.
35) gattaca, noun: DNA; any substrate that holds genetic information.
36) gloop, noun: a foodstuff.
37) squip, noun: a foodstuff.
38) billjoy, noun: a doomsayer; derived from Bill Joy, a fretful member of the twentieth-century digerati.
39) NGO, noun: non-governmental organization.
40) WTO, noun: World Trade Organization.
41) candybytes, noun: an educational nutriceutical.
42) Panspecific Mycoblastula, noun: a MacGuffin.
43) lysis, noun: cell destruction.
44) bio-zep, noun: a pseudo-living, lighter-than-air zeppelin.
45) vortal, noun, verb: virtual portal.
46) supercavitation, noun: process of underwater travel employing leading air pockets.
47) evoluture, noun: an artificially evolved creature.
48) somatype, noun: the visible expression of gattaca.
49) thallophytic, adjective: mushroom-like.
50) exopthalmic, adjective: pop-eyed.
51) 4-H, noun: an amateurs' club, primarily for children, that focuses on homeostasis (bodily maintenance through negative feedback circuits), haplotypes (gamete amounts of DNA), histogenesis (cell differentiation from general to specific), and hypertrophy (gigantism).