FTF, I had to remind myself. That was all I could do. But in the back of my mind, I wondered if it was even possible.
I rubbed at my brow, thinking of every relationship I’d been in post-Cole. Every one of them had failed and ended quickly, not lasting more than a month. And I wondered if Cole had ruined me for eternity.
No. You can’t think like that.
Taking a breath, I shook off the hopelessness and thought about the psychic and her predictions about Dr. Klein.
Right. Him. Keep your sights set on him. He’s the one.
But then I thought of a certain pair of blue eyes, and my stomach churned. I could only hope we could still keep our friendship intact. Either way, I needed to set expectations with Brian today.
Pushing off my couch, I went to get ready for lunch. Once we had ‘the talk’, everything would be okay. I was sure of it.
TEN
BRIAN
Kendy strolled in, her sunglasses on top of her head and looking cute as hell in a short summery dress. When her smile widened, I let out a breath of relief. I didn’t want it to be weird between us. Sometimes things could be awkward after sex.
When she tiptoed and pulled at my neck in a full-on bear hug, I knew it wouldn’t be. “Hiya,” she cooed, sitting down in front of me. “Did you order yet?” She placed her purse on the table by our water glasses, adjusting her sunglasses on top of her head.
“No, I was waiting for you.” I took note of the way the pink spread across her face from the heat outside.
She reached for the tall glass of ice water and gulped it down in an unladylike fashion, as though she hadn’t drank in weeks. “What you should’ve done was order for the both of us or texted me the menu.” She placed the glass back on the table and started to fan herself with her hands. “Is it me, or is it hot in here?”
She bunched her hair on the top of her head, and my eyes flew to her slender neck, remembering the tender spot I’d nipped, right above her collarbone.
“Seriously, I swear I feel like I have menopause with all these hot flashes.” With her free hand, she fanned herself, attempting to cool herself down.
“You’re twenty-four. You’ve got a long way before menopause,” I chuckled, picking up my glass of water to take a drink.
“Maybe I’m pregnant then.”
I coughed, choked on my water, and tried to compose myself as Kendy laughed in front of me.
“I’m kidding. So kidding.” She covered her mouth to tame her laughter. “There’s no way. I always use double protection.”
I picked up my napkin to wipe up the water, which had trailed from my mouth down to my shirt. “I just wasn’t expecting that.”
“I’m for real, though. It’s super hot in here.” She eyed my glass of water and I nodded, letting her know she could have a drink. Then she gulped it down, faster than the first one, and slammed the glass on the table. “Okay, let’s order, quick, before I have to pee.” Her eyebrows pulled together as she studied the menu. She bit her pinky nail, a habit I noticed when she was thinking deeply.
When she peered up from her menu, she quirked an eyebrow. “Do you already know what you want?”
“Yeah. Chicken sandwich,” I replied, entertained by her unladylike demeanor.
Her cheeks returned to their normal color as the flush from earlier left her face. “You know what? That sounds great.” She stood and squeezed her hands in front of her stomach as she started to bounce on her toes. “Order two. I really have to pee. When I come back, we need to talk.”
I shook my head, amused because she reminded me of a kindergartener, unable to hold her bladder. I watched her retreating back as she sprinted to the bathroom as people moved to the side.
Make way, people, I thought. Kendy’s gotta go potty.
***
KENDY
I stuffed a big bite of the chicken sandwich into my mouth, lessening the hunger pang in my stomach. I was starving. It was two-thirty in the afternoon, and this was my first meal of the day. The savory chicken had the right amount of spice, which had my belly singing its praises.
“So . . . what do you want to talk about?” He placed his sandwich on his plate and reached for his glass.
“Just about, you know . . . about us and last night.” I shied away as warmth spread from the apple of my cheeks to the tips of my ears. I took in his face, knowing we knew each other on a different level now. Nothing should be embarrassing anymore. We’d seen each other buck-naked. But I still had no idea how to start this conversation, so I used humor to cover up my unease in typical Kendy-like fashion. “We need to talk about last night and the power. Did you feel the power?”
Brian spat out his drink again, throwing his head back in a huge belly laugh. “Jeez, Kendy. Give a guy a warning.”
I batted my eyes at him. “You never answered my question.”
He leaned in, a seductive smile creeping up his face. “Yes, you’ve got the power, and I want a repeat sometime.”
His lusty look made my whole body tingle. I bit my lip, trying to understand this reaction. Yes, I was most definitely aroused, but there was something more that I couldn’t place. I shoved down the feeling and forged forward.
When I touched his forearm, once again I felt a zap of electricity zinging between us. “You’ll feel it, all right,” I said, my seductive tone matching his.
My bare back hit the cold chrome seat as I rested against it. I needed some air, some space between us if this talk was going to turn serious. “First, though, we’ll need to discuss some rules, expectations.” I waved my hand in the air like it was no big deal. “We’re just doing this for fun, right?” I wanted to know we were on the same page and he had no issues with our arrangement.
He tilted his head, thinking about it for a second, which made me nervous. Then he said, “Sure, no worries.” Though, his eyes were tight. “I’m too occupied with work to think of anything else.”
I must’ve had a distressed look on my face because he placed his hand on top of mine on the table, his thumb caressing my fist. “Don’t worry. I know you’re set on Stiff.” I sensed a tinge of bitterness in his tone, and I suddenly felt like the biggest hoochie.
What woman had her sights set on a guy she was going to marry, all the while making arrangements to sleep around with her friend?
But as soon as I asked myself the question, the little devil shoved that little angel off my shoulder and said, A strong woman who doesn’t take shit, who knows what she wants and how to get it. If you’re up front with Brian, why can’t you have your cake and eat it, too? Guys do it all the time.
The little devil was right. Why the hell not?
Still, it made me a bit uneasy. I’d feel better if he was all in and totally okay, not just saying it to make me feel better.
His eyebrows pulled together, giving me an inkling that he was having doubts.
“Does it make you feel uncomfortable?” I asked. “That I have my sights set on Dr. Klein?”
“No. Not at all.” He gave me a small smile as he paused to examine me. “I just don’t get it, Kendy. You’re beautiful and smart, and that guy seems like a total dick. I guarantee you he’s not settling down anytime soon.”
So he was worried about me? The doubt I sensed earlier was caused by his concern for me, and my insides swooned at his thoughtfulness.
And he just called me beautiful. I didn’t realize I was smiling so big until my cheeks started hurting.
Dimming that smile, I told him, “I’m attracted to him.” It wasn’t a good enough answer. “And . . .” I paused, ready for him to laugh again. “It’s what that psychic predicted.” The truth was, I’d been holding onto this prediction for years, my last string of hope that I could move on from what Cole had done to me, a hope for ending my tormented past.