I reached for the saltshaker and stared at the minuscule particles. My voice dropped an octave. “You have to know what I’ve been through to understand.” I winced, the desperation I was so familiar with emerging.
Brian put his hand on mine, but I pulled it back. I didn’t need consoling; I needed to move on. I had this bitter taste in my mouth, all because the psychic’s last prediction had had everything to do with Cole.
“It’s her last prediction. And it has to come true.” I let out a heavy sigh, forcing myself to see the speck of light at the end of the tunnel.
Brian broke me from my morbid thoughts and threw a twenty on the table. I hadn’t even realized the waiter had dropped off the check. Again, thoughts of my past were keeping me from being in the present.
“You ready?” he asked, standing. “Want to take a walk through Central Park?”
He held out his hand and, after a beat, I stood and placed my hand in his as the familiar warmth from earlier spread through me.
“Sure.” I smiled. “Let’s go.”
***
BRIAN
As much as I hated that she was still going after that prick, who didn’t deserve her, I needed to erase the desolate look from her face. I sensed something deeper going on with her obsession with this damn psychic, but I wouldn’t press her.
Central Park bustled with people enjoying the sunny summer day. Parents were pushing strollers, and a group of girls were rollerblading around us. As we walked, Kendy’s gaze wandered to the people passing us by.
“You know the great thing about this country?” she said. “We get to walk around freely, do what we want. We have free will to choose, not like some countries that live under a dictatorship.”
Odd topic choice.
She stopped and moved to the side as joggers passed us. I expected her to make some comment or joke about the shirtless guys, but she just stared blankly in front of us. “When your free will is taken away, that’s when all hope is gone.”
I frowned at her, my muscles tensing. What was she getting at? And why did it sound like she was speaking from experience?
I wondered where this conversation was headed, but I kept quiet, because she still had that look in her eye. The spark, the light I was usually accustomed to seeing in Kendy’s eyes was replaced by a desolate look of utter despair.
She turned to me and such hopelessness passed over her face. “What if that one person, the person you loved the most, who you thought would never, ever do you wrong, took away your free will . . . and suddenly you felt helpless?” Her eyes broke, and all of me wanted to cross that invisible line and ask her who the hell had hurt her so I could rip their limbs apart.
The next moment, she gripped the front of my shirt, surprising me. “Kiss me. Hard. I need to forget.”
I hesitated as warning signals rang off loudly in my head. But looking into her eyes, somehow I knew this was what she needed. So I leaned down to meet her lips, even though I knew this girl was not entirely whole. I was starting to see it more clearly. Behind the façade of a confident woman was a vulnerable girl, utterly broken.
And I was determined to know why.
***
KENDY
Our lips crashed together, our teeth clashing with the impact. I didn’t care that we were in the middle of the busiest park in the nation. I pushed through any thoughts of Cole to feel the warmth of Brian’s tongue against mine. I needed to drown in him, feel numb again, and dull the feeling that was bubbling up in my chest. The feeling that always haunted me whenever I thought of Cole.
“Harder,” I moaned into his mouth. Despair began to strangle and suffocate me, making it difficult to breathe. I struggled to drive down old memories, to forget. I needed to clear my mind, to feel emptiness and pure sensation.
I bit on his lip, because he wasn’t giving it to me rough enough, and I was rewarded with a low moan. Still, all I saw and heard was Cole. His voice rang loudly in my ears. His stocky frame and face clouded my head. His anger was so real, even though it had happened years ago.
My body trembled, tears threatening to break free. “More,” I begged through muffled kisses, wanting to drown the past that haunted me. I needed to push past this overwhelming all-consuming anguish.
Finally, he bent me back, and I felt his hardness through the thin material of my dress.
“We have to get out of here,” I said breathlessly.
He cupped the side of my face, his thumb lightly grazing my cheek. A look of concern passed over his face, softening his features. He was about to say no; I could tell.
But before he had a chance, I pressed my body against his. “Let’s go,” I breathed. “Where?”
Finally, an intense look of desire replaced the concern. “Your place,” he panted.
“Yeah.” I tugged on his hand and led us quickly out of the park.
***
BRIAN
Shit. I swear I just experienced my first heart attack.
I collapsed on the bed, Kendy’s beautiful body splayed on top of me.
“Oh, God,” she laughed as she buried her face in my chest. “That was intense.”
I was still lodged inside her, but I could barely move, let alone breathe. I couldn’t formulate words. I just needed a moment to collect myself, for my pulse to return to a normal rhythm.
As my eyes raked in her face, the blue in her irises caught the sun coming in through the window. Damn, she was breathtakingly beautiful and flushed pink from our passion.
Resting her head on her hand, she said, “I broke it, didn’t I? Your dick.”
“Maybe.” I laughed. I wondered if I would ever get tired of looking at her. She had sex hair, and it was the hottest thing.
Her chest rose and fell as she giggled, a sound that radiated throughout the room, a sound I was becoming addicted to. “It’s because I rode it like an amusement ride.”
“You sure did,” I said, and even though her words had been funny, I softened and ran a hand through her hair. Our eyes locked and my smile faltered. I couldn’t get what she’d said earlier out of my head.
What if that one person, the person you loved the most, who you thought would never, ever do you wrong, took away your free will, where you felt helpless.
My arms tightened around her, wanting to protect her in some way, even though she’d already been hurt. Her soft curves melted against my lean chest as a lump developed in my throat.
She seemed to be oblivious to my concern as her eyes twinkled with mischief, her lips still swollen from our passion. You would’ve never guessed she was troubled. But I noticed. I noticed everything about her.
I needed to know more. What had happened to break such beauty?
I cupped the side of her face, and she rested against my touch. My thumb grazed her cheek and, as I stared into her eyes, the blue irises, which seemed so carefree but weren’t, I finally couldn’t hold it in any longer. “What happened? Who hurt you?”
As if a door inside of her slammed shut, her stare turned blank. “Don’t. It’s nothing.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.
Her eyes turned cautious, and I knew I had crossed some invisible line, but this time I didn’t care, because in my gut, I knew she was lying.
“Brian . . .” She lifted herself off of me and moved to the side, wrapping the sheets around her naked body. She averted her eyes, staring out the window. “It doesn’t matter. It’s in the past. He’s not a part of my life anymore.”
As soon as those words left her mouth, my whole body tensed.
I gritted my teeth. “I want to know.” My voice came out harder than I’d intended, but I didn’t back down. The curiosity burned inside of me. The need to know who hurt her was so strong that I took deep and slow breaths to keep me calm. I reached for her arm. “Tell me.” I ground out.