I sighed again, not wanting to explain, and then I found the words spewing out anyway. “Hot cocoa reminds her of home, and I thought maybe . . . I could be her home in New York.”
I shook my head and felt the anger rising again, my face getting hot. “I’m so fucking stupid. I was going to win over a girl with hot chocolate.” I kicked the coffee table in front of me, causing the empty beer bottles to tip over. “Why couldn’t I just fucking follow the rules? I had it good. What guy falls for the ‘no strings’ girl?” Unable to keep my OCD in check, even drunk, I reached for the empty bottles and set them upright. “I fucked everything up.”
I let my head fall as I rubbed one hand from the base of my neck to the top of my head. “I fell hard for this one, Trey. Harder than I’ve ever fallen for anyone.”
He placed one hand on my shoulder, but didn’t say anything. He was just being a good friend.
I glanced up at him, my shoulders slumping. “Get me fucked up. I want to get so messed up that I forget her, everything about her.”
I wondered where she was now. With Stiff. I pictured his hands on her, on the base of her neck, kissing the birthmark on her inner thigh.
Fuck!
I hopped up from the couch and started to pace. “I can’t deal, man. Every time I picture him touching her, I go ballistic. I want to barge in on their date and stake my claim. She should be mine right now.” My voice trailed off as I gripped the ends of my hair. “Dude, let’s get wasted. Beer is not going to do it for me.”
Trey didn’t need to hear any more. He stood and clasped my shoulder with one hand, nodding with understanding. “I’m your man. Let’s go forget.”
***
KENDY
The scent of spices filtered through the room as I sat at the table for two at one of the most upscale restaurants in all of Manhattan. When we’d walked into the fancy Italian restaurant, there had been a line outside the door. Sarah had told me it took months to get a reservation at Italia Restaurant. Normally, I’d be ecstatic to dine at such an upscale restaurant. This place was frequented by the A-listers, for heaven’s sake! But not tonight.
James was sitting across from me in black pants and a navy blue button down. His pants were too tight for his ass, but it was like he’d worn them on purpose to showcase his assets. In all the fantasies I’d had about us, I imagined that would’ve had some sort of effect on me, but I felt nothing.
James continued to talk, but I didn’t hear a word he was saying.
The only thing that echoed in my mind was Brian’s disappointed face and his harsh words before he’d left. My stomach churned and my heart ached with the same pang that surfaced every time I thought about him.
My hair was done up in a half ponytail. I’d spent an hour making each individual curl stand out. I couldn’t believe I’d spent all that time on my hair for this date, for a guy I felt absolutely nothing for.
James laughed, breaking me from my thoughts, and I fake giggled along with him. He could’ve said he’d pooped in his pants. I had no idea, and honestly, I didn’t care, which wasn’t fair to him, yet I couldn’t break my mood.
The waiter, a taller guy about my age, showed up to take our order. He was looking dapper in his black and white waiter tux, matching all other servers in this fine establishment. “Ma’am, would you like to look over the wine list?”
As I opened the menu, I scanned the posh list written in curlicue. I was startled when James began to order for us. “We would like to order a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon.” He regarded me as though he knew what I wanted then winked.
I smiled, thinking I wanted white wine instead of red tonight, but hey, he asked me on this date, so I was going to go with this.
Still, Brian would’ve known my wine of choice. Plus, he wouldn’t have assumed I wanted red.
Shoving that thought away, I sat straighter. I didn’t need to be depressed tonight. I was beginning my life, starting something new. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself to justify this date.
The waiter recited the specials of the day and placed the menu down in front of us before leaving us to look over our options. I knew when James had decided on his meal because he closed his menu then started rambling again about work and how much they loved him there. I glanced at his untouched water as he prattled on about other hospitals vying for his attention and wanting him to make a switch.
James was a hand talker. He was giving me whiplash with all the gestures. I had noticed this mannerism in him, but I hadn’t realized how over the top it was until tonight.
“I love Manhattan, don’t you?” he asked, like he had finally realized he was on a date and should include me in the conversation.
“Yeah,” I said, no enthusiasm in my voice. I’d never felt more out of place since I’d moved to New York.
Unfazed by my lack of interest, he just continued on, prattling about his undergrad at Purdue and his residency at UCLA. All I did was smile and nod, sensing a headache coming on. All this crap he was talking about, I already knew, since I’d stalked him at the hospital.
Funny enough, I was glad he didn’t engage me in the conversation. It would’ve taken too much energy on my part.
When the waiter returned, he uncorked the bottle, poured our glasses of wine and set the bottle inside the ice filled bucket. As soon as the deep-colored liquid hit my glass, I grabbed it, almost splashing it on my little black dress. I tipped the glass back and stared at my menu, deciding the salmon special sounded divine. What never failed me was my love for food. My stomach was ready to get my eat on. Although the pastas looked delicious, my heart was set on fish.
“Are you guys ready to order?” The waiter angled in my direction. “Ladies first.”
I smiled at him and placed my menu on the table, my stomach already grumbling for the salmon with capers over a bed of vegetables. “I’ll take the fish.”
After James placed his order for a medium steak, he turned my way.
I forced a smile for both of our benefits. “It’s good I’m not on a diet because I’m planning to have dessert after this,” I said lightly. I had to get some pleasure from tonight especially since I wasn’t going to get any pleasure from him. I knew he wouldn’t be going home with me.
“A woman with an appetite. I like it.” He offered an easy smile, though it did nothing to my pulse.
“Thanks,” I said, my usual sassy comeback not there.
This date had turned from awkward to plain old weird. Our conversation was stilted, and if I had to rate this date compared to the history of all my dates, I’d rate this top of the list of dry-as-dust boring.
“So, you meeting a ton of people here?” he asked.
“Yeah. I mean, a fair amount. Work keeps me busy, and I’ve met a couple friends who I hang out with outside of work.” Too bad I could count the people I’d really grown attached to on one hand. And now that Brian had left, those friends could now be counted on one finger. Sighing, I looked toward the couple next to us, tired of small talk and feeling sorry for myself.
I was grateful when the waiter interrupted our awkward moment, setting a loaf of bread, parmesan cheese, and olive oil in front of us.
“Enjoy,” he said, leaving us alone to our world of weirdness.
I forced my sullen mood to the side, telling myself again that I had decided to go on this date. I’d agreed to have dinner with him. Why couldn’t I give him a fair chance?
The psychic had predicted it was him. She said I’d meet him at work, and he’d give me the moon. We’d complete each other, just like in fairy tales.
She’d predicted my life’s timeline, spitting it out as the cards laid in front of me. So far, everything had gone as planned. This was the missing piece. He was my missing piece.
He continued to talk about the charitable associations he was affiliated with, which piqued my interest. It seemed as though he devoted a lot of his time at St. Jude’s Hospital, which was very admirable. But after the waiter dropped our dinner off, James started blabbering about how he was such an asset to the hospital, and I started to lose interest. Bored again, I poked my fork through my salmon. His voice was beginning to grate on me.