I stepped out from my hiding spot, but they didn’t see me as I approached. I narrowed my eyes at the witch as her hands moved up and down the front of Brian’s shirt. He was so wasted he probably wouldn’t remember her name in the morning. When she went up on tiptoes to kiss him, I’d had enough.
“Brian,” I said, stalking toward them.
The expression on his face flipped like a deck of cards—surprise, adoration, and then he hardened and went back to ignoring me.
My stomach dropped to the floor, disappointment flooding my insides. Had I expected anything less? I’d been a total bitch and broken his heart, chewed it up, and spit it out. I didn’t deserve to be in his presence, yet here I was.
The blonde eyed me, but she looked away when Brian gave his attention back to her.
Trey immediately disentangled himself from his girl and advanced toward me. “Get out,” he commanded.
I clenched my teeth, ignored Trey, and focused on Brian. “We need to talk.” I gave the girl a back away look, but she rolled her eyes and just inched closer to Brian’s side, running her hands along his arms.
I gave her a onceover. She looked weak, too thin, but flaunting it with her little-to-nothing clothing as though thin was in. I could totally take her and her skinny stick figure out.
I came closer, now only a few feet between us. I needed to work for this, and begging was not out of the question. I would fight for him because I was the reason we weren’t together. It was my fault. “Please,” I said, begging him with my eyes.
His jaw tightened. His eyes were dilated, which told me he’d had too much to drink, but he didn’t look away, which gave me a tiny tinge of hope.
My voice quivered as I spoke. “I’m sorry,” I said, laying a hand on my racing heart. I didn’t care I was allowing them all to see my vulnerability. I didn’t care that I looked like a total dumbass. I focused all my attention on him.
“I’m so, so sorry. I just want to talk.” I was on the verge of tears. I knew I’d hurt him, and I’d do anything to make it right, to make us right again.
I took a deep breath and just said the words, the ones I should’ve said the other day, but was too chickenshit and stuck on that last damn prediction to do it. “I love . . . I love you.” It wasn’t the ideal place to tell him, but he needed to know. And I wasn’t ashamed to say it because it was the absolute truth.
For a brief moment, he saw me, and I soaked it in, giving myself hope. But then Trey stepped between us.
He glared at me with burning eyes as his temper flared. “What is your fucking problem? He’s had a taste of you; now he’s ready to move the fuck on to Brandy over here.” He nodded to the blonde still pawing my man.
“Brenda,” the blonde corrected him.
“Yeah, whatever,” Trey muttered with a wave of his hand. “How was your date with the doctor dude? He didn’t fulfill your dreams, so you’re back here for a real man?”
“That’s not it,” I insisted, peering over Trey’s shoulder to get a glimpse of Brian, but Trey moved to block my view. “Have you ever wished something to be true so badly that you couldn’t see anything else? I made a mistake,” I confessed, my insides breaking. I needed him to believe me and realize how much I regretted ever turning him away.
“Get out of here,” Trey seethed. “He’s done with you. You had your chance, and you fucking blew it. Leave.”
I tried to move around Trey, but he blocked my view of Brian. I decided to say it anyway. “I’m sorry. For ever hurting you. For ever thinking that anyone could be better for me than you. For thinking that someone else was it . . . when you were standing right in front of me the whole time.” I didn’t realize I was crying until I felt my cheeks wet from my tears.
When Trey finally moved a little, Brian was looking at me, but his eyes were unreadable. He turned away, as though he couldn’t bear to see me cry, and then he uttered the words that shattered me and crushed the hope I had felt just moments ago. “Just go, Kendy.” Then he stepped inside his apartment, not bothering to look back as Brenda followed after him.
The color drained from my face as my lungs constricted, making it difficult to breathe, difficult to stand. I fell back against the wall, my legs turning to jelly.
There was no sympathy in Trey’s eyes as he followed Brian inside, followed by his girl. When the door shut behind him, both hands flew to my chest as more hot tears coursed down my face. An ache so painful jabbed at my heart.
How could I have been so stupid to let my fears consume me to the point of pushing Brian away? Now my worst fear had come true. It was too late. I was too late.
***
I lay in bed for hours, a crying, slobbering mess. I’d ruined things, and there was no one to blame but myself. As the light of dawn began to shine over my purple comforter, I pulled the covers closer to my chin, wiping my tears onto the blanket.
I couldn’t stop picturing Brian with that girl. It hurt so badly to think of him being with anyone else but me, even though I’d basically thrown him away.
Now I was alone with my pain.
An unbearable ache in the center of my chest spread throughout my limbs. This ache maintained through the evening, only intensifying with every memory of our time spent together. I shut my eyes tightly, but the images of both of them together became more vivid. Bile rose from my stomach to the top of my throat. I felt like hurling last night’s dinner all over my bed, but I chewed on my bottom lip and prayed for sleep to come. Maybe sleep would help.
Everything the psychic had said was playing in my head—from my father to my career to moving to New York. From my mother’s engagement, and finally to her prediction of my dream guy, the guy who was supposed to mend my broken heart, give me hope about love, life, and my future.
I shook my head, knowing full well that James wasn’t it. I should’ve known all along. I don’t know why I hadn’t seen it. Maybe before Brian it would’ve worked out, but now nothing would ever compare to him. No one else could ever come close.
I didn’t get it. Maybe Beth was right. Maybe my future had changed.
My mind was a jumbled mess. It was like trying to decipher computer code. All I knew was that I loved Brian. I knew it in my core, the type of love that left you breathless and you wanted it to last forever. The type of love that made my heart race and my palms sweat like I was a teenaged girl. The type of love where he was all that occupied my mind, when I was at work, when I was at home, or wherever I was, and all I craved was his company.
After the sun rose, I gave up on sleep and shifted off the bed. One thing Kendy didn’t do was fall down and quit.
I needed to see him, fight for him, fight for our forever. I needed to try again, but not in front of people I didn’t know, and not when Brian was half-ass wasted.
But I was going to fight for him, just like he’d fought for me.
***
BRIAN
Four Tylenols later, I still had a major headache. It pounded painfully as I tied up the garbage bag and carried it down the stairs and out into the fresh outdoors. After seeing Kendy last night, I couldn’t stomach sleeping with Brenda, even though Kendy had most likely been with Stiff.
Still, I knew having sex with her wouldn’t cure the ache, so what was the point? Brenda ended up knocked out on my bed, and I slept on the couch. This morning, I had to wake her up and usher her out so I could really sleep soundly. But sleep never came.
The warm air outside hit my bare chest, and I squinted at the sun above me. The light was intensifying my headache, making my hangover even worse. I trudged over to the dumpster as the stench filtered through my nose, already making my stomach churn. Lifting the lid, I tossed the black garbage bag inside. When I turned around, I had to do a double take.
Kendy?
I was imagining things, probably still half asleep. There was no way she was standing right in front of me, looking like an angel who had fallen from Heaven.