Kelly: “You have counseled many through their grief. In the King novel Lisey’s Story, Lisey Landon is navigating through the loss of her husband as she handles getting rid of his books and keepsakes. From your experience, is this a vulnerable time for those grieving?”
Samantha Dansby: “Absolutely. Both through my personal experience and through the accounts of my clients, I’ve seen the struggles of trying to sort through the possessions of a person, of realizing that those things are all that physically remain of someone you love. Often, people are scared to part with anything for fear that they might lose even more of the person that is gone.”
Meg: “Lisey begins to see, hear, and even feel the presence of her deceased husband, which King explains with the supernatural parallel universe called Boo’ya Moon. But in reality, is it common for people to experience auditory or visual hallucinations of their lost loved one while in extreme grief?”
Samantha Dansby: “Honestly, this varies wildly from person to person. I’ve had clients who believed that their loved ones still visit them, sometimes in dreams and sometimes when they are awake. I’ve had other clients who lamented that they could never feel the presence of their loved one once they had passed. I believe most of it goes back to a person’s deeply held beliefs about life, death, and the afterlife. I think people who are raised to believe in an afterlife and in a spiritual realm are more likely to see their loved ones after death.”
Kelly: “As a child, precocious and creative Scott Landon finds solace in the alternate world, Boo’ya Moon, due to his troubled childhood. Have you dealt with patients who have dissociated, or created their own reality? Why does the human brain employ this tactic?”
Samantha Dansby: “Dissociation is such a fascinating subject. I took an intense interest in it when I was a student and wrote numerous papers about it, and I continue to study it whenever I get a chance. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), approximately 75 percent of people experience at least one episode of dissociation, although only about 2 percent of those people are diagnosed with a dissociative disorder. The trauma we experience is sometimes too much for us to bear, so our brains compensate to protect us by dissociating. We may begin to feel as if the real world is not real, almost as if it is a movie or TV show we are watching from the outside. I believe Scott created Boo’ya Moon to cope with the severe abuse by his father and retreated further there to deal with the traumatic death of his brother, Paul.”
“Dissociation is a way of coping by avoiding negative thoughts or feelings related to memories of traumatic events. When people are dissociating they disconnect from their surroundings, which can stop the trauma memories and lower fear, anxiety, and shame. Dissociation can happen during the trauma or later on when thinking about or being reminded of the trauma.”2
Meg: “When you watch movies or read books with fictional depictions of counselors like yourself, what do they get right? Are there false ideas about your profession that you would like to correct?”
Samantha Dansby: “There are so many frustrations on my part when I see fictional depictions of counselors. It is bad enough that most people don’t want to even watch anything with a counselor in it with me. First off, no one has ever lain down to talk to me. I don’t even own a chaise! When I worked with kids, most of our sessions took place on the floor or on my beanbags. With adults, most of them sit on a couch or in a chair. I’m also not sleeping with any of my clients. Also, I don’t give advice. I listen and help others come to their own decisions about what is best for them. Counselors are more of a sounding board than anything else. Sometimes, I share techniques that could be helpful, but I never tell someone what they should do. That’s not my job. As far as what the media gets right, counselors often do struggle with our own mental health. I know many counselors who are either currently in counseling or have been in the past. Another correct assumption, at least on my part, is that it is extremely hard to leave work at work. Empathy is a skill essential for a good counselor, and it is not something I can just turn on and off on a whim. I have to be intentional about my self-care and making sure I take the time to decompress after work.”
Kelly: “We heard you met your best friend in an interesting way? Also, what is your favorite Stephen King work and why?”
Samantha Dansby: “I love sharing this story! I’ve got Stephen King to thank for my best friend. We are from a very small town in rural Alabama. One of my favorite places growing up was the library. Once I discovered Stephen King, who took up two whole shelves, I was hooked! It became my favorite area in the library, and I would browse those two shelves, reading book jackets, and savoring choosing my next book. One day in the summer before ninth grade, I rounded the shelf and nearly ran into a girl close to my age who was browsing the SK books. We started chatting and soon realized our shared horror and true crime obsessions. That was over seventeen years ago, and she is still absolutely my best friend. And, as for my favorite SK book … how dare you ask me such a thing! But truly, that is an extremely hard question for someone like me to answer. My first book by him was The Bachman Books, and Rage was a story that stuck with me deeply, but I would not call it my favorite. Over the years, my favorites by him have been Salem’s Lot, Under the Dome, and Needful Things. I loved Salem’s Lot, as vampires have always been one of my favorite creatures. Under the Dome just captivated me in some way, although I can’t really say why. As far as Needful Things goes, I have always loved thrift stores, and I often think of this book when I am visiting a new one. Plus, who isn’t always on the lookout for the perfect treasure? However, The Stand is next on my TBR list, so who knows what my favorite might be next?”
Meg: “There are so many Stephen King books to discover!”
Thank you to Samantha for her insights on grief. It is a difficult conversation, but one that touches every human.
While Boo’ya Moon is a real place in Lisey’s Story, it is not difficult to understand that we are often driven to live in a fantasy world when faced with grief, abuse, or loneliness. Perhaps that is why Stephen King’s work resonates. He creates worlds we can get lost in.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Duma Key
Stephen King’s accident in the summer of 1999 was partially responsible for another novel. In Duma Key, the protagonist, Edgar Freemantle, a contractor in Minneapolis, has an event that forever changes his life: A construction crane falls on him leaving him with a fractured skull, a shattered hip, and an arm that needs to be amputated. “Edgar’s injuries were worse than mine,” King recalled in an interview with USA Today. “I didn’t lose an arm, I didn’t lose my wife, but like him, my memory was affected. I know a little about pain and suffering and what happens when the painkillers lose their efficacy, when your body gets used to them.”1 The novel is the first that’s set in Florida and Minnesota.