He shook his head sadly. “I can’t be like you, Walker. I can’t live apart from the rest of the world. I want to be able to go back to Shady Vale. I don’t want to go away and start life over. I came this way through Culhaven. The Dwarves who brought us are from there. All of the prejudice and greed, the politics and wars, all of the madness you speak about is very much in evidence there. But unlike you I don’t want to escape it; I want to find a way to end it! How can that happen if I simply pretend it doesn’t exist!”
His hands tightened into fists. “You see, I keep thinking, what if Allanon knows something that can change the way things are? What if he can tell me something that will put an end to the madness?”
They faced each other in the dark for a long time without speaking, and Par thought he saw things in his uncle’s dark eyes that he hadn’t seen since his childhood—things that whispered of caring and need and sacrifice. Then the eyes were flat again, expressionless, empty. Walker Boh came to his feet.
“Will you reconsider?” Par asked him quietly.
Walker regarded him silently, then walked to the pool at the center of the clearing and stood looking down. When his fingers snapped, Rumor materialized from out of nowhere and came over to him.
He turned momentarily and looked back. “Good luck, Par,” was all he said.
Then he turned, the cat beside him, and disappeared into the night.
Chapter Ten
Par waited until morning to tell the others of his meeting with Walker Boh. There did not seem to be any reason to hurry it. Walker had made clear his intentions, and there was nothing any of them could do about it in any case. So Par made his way back to the cottage, surprising himself at how easily he was able to retrace his steps, resumed his watch without disturbing the others, lost himself in his thoughts, and waited for dawn.
Reactions were mixed when he finally related his story. There was some initial doubt as to whether he was mistaken about what happened, but that dissipated almost at once. They made him tell the story twice more after that, interjecting comments and questions in equal measure as he went. Morgan was outraged that Walker should treat them like this, declaring that they deserved at the very least the courtesy of a direct confrontation. He insisted that they search the valley again, convinced that the man must be close by and should be found and made to face them all. Steff was more pragmatic. He was of the opinion that Walker Boh was no different from most, preferring to stay out of trouble when he could, avoiding situations in which trouble would most probably result.
“It seems to me that his behavior, however irritating you might find it, is certainly not out of character,” the Dwarf declared with a shrug. “After all, you said yourselves that he came here to escape involvement with the Races. By refusing to go to the Hadeshorn, he is simply doing what he said he would do.”
Teel, as usual, had nothing to say. Coll only said, “I wish I could have spoken with him,” and dropped the matter.
There was no reason now to stay longer at Hearthstone, but they decided to postpone leaving for at least another day. The moon was still more than half full, and they had at least another ten days left to them before they were required to be at the Hadeshorn—if, indeed, they were going at all. The subject of what was to happen next was being carefully avoided. Par had made up his own mind, but had not yet told the others. They, of course, were waiting to hear from him. While they played at this game of cat-and-mouse, they finished breakfast and decided to go along with Morgan’s suggestion and scout the valley one more time. It gave them something to do while they considered the implications of Walker Boh’s decision. Tomorrow morning would be time enough to make any decisions of their own.
So they went back to the clearing where Par had met with Walker and the moor cat the previous night and began a second search, agreeing to meet back at the cottage by late afternoon. Steff and Teel formed one group, Par and Coll a second, and Morgan went alone. The day was warm and filled with sunshine, and a light breeze blew down out of the distant mountains. Steff scoured the clearing for signs of any sort and found nothing—not even the tracks of the cat. Par had a feeling that it was going to be a long day.
He walked east with Coll after parting from the others, his mind crowding with thoughts of what he should say to his brother. A mix of emotions worked their way through him, and he found it difficult to sort them out. He ambled along halfheartedly, conscious of Coll watching him from time to time, but avoiding his gaze. After they had wandered through several dozen clearings and forded half that many streams without coming on even a trace of Walker Boh, Par called a halt.
“This is a waste of time,” he announced, a hint of exasperation creeping into his voice. “We’re not going to find anything.”
“I don’t imagine we are,” Coll replied.
Par turned to him, and they faced each other silently for a moment. “I have decided to go on to the Hadeshorn, Coll. It doesn’t matter what Walker does; it only matters what I do. I have to go.”
Coll nodded, “I know.” Then he smiled. “Par, I haven’t been your brother all these years without learning something about the way you think. The moment you told me that Walker had said he would have nothing to do with the matter, I knew you’d decided you would. That’s the way it is with you. You’re like a dog with a bone in its teeth—you can’t let go.”
“I suppose that’s the way it seems sometimes, doesn’t it?” Par shook his head wearily and moved over to a patch of shade beneath an old hickory. He turned his back to the trunk and slid to the ground. Coll joined him. They sat staring out at the empty woodlands, “I admit I made the decision pretty much the way you describe it. I just couldn’t accept Walker’s position. Truth is, Coll, I couldn’t even understand it. I was so upset, I didn’t even think to ask him whether he believed the dreams were real or not.”
“Not consciously, perhaps—but you thought about it. And you decided at some point it wasn’t necessary. Walker said that he’d had the same dreams as you. He told you the old man had come to him just as he did to us. He admitted the old man was Cogline. He didn’t dispute any of it. He simply said he didn’t want to become involved. The implication is that he believes the dreams are real—otherwise, there wouldn’t be anything to get involved with.”
Par’s jaw tightened. “I don’t understand it, Coll. That was Walker I spoke with last night; I know it was. But he didn’t talk like Walker. All that business about not becoming involved, about his decision to separate himself from the Races, and to live out here like a hermit. Something’s not right; I can feel it! He wasn’t telling me everything. He kept talking about how the Druids kept secrets from the Ohmsfords, but he was doing the same thing with me! He was hiding something!”
Coll looked unconvinced. “Why would he do that?”
Par shook his head. “I don’t know. I just sense it.” He looked at his brother sharply. “Walker never backed down from anything in his entire life; we both know that. He was never afraid to stand up and be counted when he was needed. Now he talks as if he can scarcely bear the thought of getting up in the morning! He talks as if the only important thing in life is to look out for himself!” The Valeman leaned back wearily against the hickory trunk. “He made me feel embarrassed for him. He made me feel ashamed!”
“I think you might be reading too much into this.” Coll scuffed the ground with the heel of his boot. “It may be just the way he says it is. He’s lived alone out here for a long time, Par. Maybe he simply isn’t comfortable with people anymore.”